By The Great and Powerful Danny Sichel
"Mutant, eh? What's your mutation?"
"No, no, I'm serious."
"Oh, for... Are you blind? You see this?"
"Yes, 'the fur'. To be formal, I have an excessive amount of body hair."
"That's why society defines you as a mutant?"
"No... yes! Here, feel! See how thick it is!"
" 'Oh Miss McCoy, this is so sudden!'"
"Oh, nothing, nothing. I guess you don't shave your legs, then. Soft, though. And sleek..."
"What? Shave... wha-? Um... um... anyway, it's... it's an unnatural colour! And... ooh, that feels nice... and I'm unnaturally strong and athletic, and..."
"So... basically you're Dennis Rodman?"
"No! Stop accepting me! I'm a freak! Look, I have fangs!"
"Okay, so you need to see an orthodontist. And a barber. And the new Woody Allen movie, and you might also enjoy seeing my etchings. Shall I pick you up at seven?"
- Maddicks and McCoy.