Subject: [REVIEW]: Heart's Desire From: mirage@bayside.net Date: 1997/05/10 Message-ID: <863255353.20263@dejanews.com> Newsgroups: alt.comics.fan-fiction [More Headers] [REVIEW]: Heart's Desire May 10, 1997 OK, I admit it. I've been putting this review off for waaay too long. Now that exams are over, I don't have a good excuse. So here we go. Spoilers ahoy! Heart's Desire by Alara Rogers (aleph@netcom.com) Can be found at http://www.ici.net/cust_pages/darqstar/hd.htm Darqstar's Shifting Sands Archive.) A copy of this review has been emailed to the author. Briefer Than Yer Briefs Summary: ======================= Basically, the story tries to answer the question "What if Magneto was granted his heart's desire"? Which in this story, it's another chance with Magda, his wife. Mirage's Gut Reaction: ======================= This one's a keeper, folks. A thoughtful and compelling examination of the Master of Magnetism. I didn't exactly _enjoy_ the story in the full sense of the word, since the ending was depressing, but I was ensnared in the fictional world long enough to empathise with Magneto's sense of loss. I felt with the main character, was alternately frustrated by Magda's narrowminded stubbornness and then pleased when she gave him a second chance. It ain't light reading; because of the issues the story raises, it's something that stays with you after most other fanfic pieces have long disappeared from memory. Second Thoughts: ======================= I must qualify my praise here: I'm no Mags expert. Not being familiar with the key issue in question, I was unable to verify the portrayal of some of the events described, in particular, Magneto's killing of the bystanders who watched his daughter being burned to death. Perhaps someone else may see something I missed. There isn't much of a larger plot, but any peep of boredom is vanquished by the fact that a lot of interesting moral issues are explored. Such as: Was Mags right in killing the people who stood by and did nothing to help? What about the adage that says for evil to triumph, good men need to do nothing? Who can judge others without being judged? Does power over others begin the journey down the slippery slope towards megalomania? etc, etc, etc. Ultimately, all great drama is about morality, and this is one of two main reasons why I find this story fascinating reading. Now for the second reason: the emotional power behind some of the passages. Here's an example of what I mean, I've excerpted my favorite section below. >"Erik, you truly can't see it?" she cried. "Don't you have a >conscience? Did you ever? You killed *innocent* people! If you had >only killed those who were hitting you, that would be forgivable, that >was self-defense, but you killed them *all!*" > > Rage welled, that she would judge him so harshly. "Those >*innocent* people stood by and let our daughter *burn* to death! Is that >the act of an innocent person? They heard a child, screaming >hysterically for her parents to save her; they saw the two of us, being >restrained and beaten for the crime of wanting not to be cheated, being >held back from saving her... Magda, they murdered her just as surely as >the ones who set the fire!" > > "And when they took the men in your camp off to the selections, >and you did nothing, were you innocent?" > > All the blood drained from Erik's face. He lunged forward and >grabbed Magda by the front of her dress, making her shrink back and >whimper. "How *dare* you throw that up in my face? You were there-- you >know as well as I there was nothing we could do! I hadn't the power to >stop it, then-- I hadn't the power to do anything but survive! Now I >have the power to protect myself and those I love, and I will be damned >before I hold back from using it! If that makes me a monster, so is >every man who has ever killed in defense of his country, his wife or his >children!" Notice the minimal use of speaker attribution (placement of 'he said's) and the way the narrative smoothly enhances the dialogue with actions that reveal, not tell, the emotion. There's none of the clumsy speaker attributions that whap the reader over the head and say 'This Is What You Should Be Feeling'. For example, if the above sentence had been written, "And when you took the men in your camp off to the selections, and you did nothing, were you innocent?" she said angrily. the effect of the sentence has been marred by the "she said angrily". It's needless repetition. A small thing, but it's details like these that add to the overall effect and power of the story. There are many other pitfalls that the story neatly avoids but I won't list them all and bore you to death. In general, a fine job with the dialogue, but there are sections that could use work. Sometimes, I felt the tension had been muted by the conversation going over the same emotional ground, and in others, I was irritated by the narrative constantly interrupting the dialogue. I also had problems with the length of the conversation with Magda. The high tension was obviously meant to be maintained throughout, but personally I found it tiring to read. I think the same goals could be accomplished in a more potent, shorter argument with Magda. When the X-Men interrupted Erik's walk outside, it was a relief because the whole thing was verging dangerously close to tedious. His thoughts after the argument were all too predictable - and this wasn't helped by the narrative style that seemed bent on cataloguing his every self-pitying, maudlin thought. However, I would like to applaud the choice of third person in the narrative to convey Magneto's thoughts. It'd be difficult to make Magneto sound genuine using first person POV. For my final comment I'd like to say I really appreciated the symbolism of the scenery - the blizzard, the barrenness of winter paralleling the barrenness in Magneto's own soul, the isolated cabin. Maybe the author wasn't consciously aware of these symbols while writing, but nevertheless, they're there, and it only enhances the effect of the story. Conclusion: Heart's Desire is an excellent piece of fanfic that provides the reader with a glimpse of the Magneto might have been. There are some technical flaws, but most of these won't detract from your enjoyment of the story. A definite must-read for the serious Magneto fan and anyone else who enjoys a well written character-driven story. Comments on my comments? Email or post. I promise not to get the two mixed up. ;) -Mirage. mirage@bayside.net "Tell me Lee, is there some point to your monologue, or are you just running an experiment in oxygen deprivation with us as the guinea pigs?" "Won't be a problem M. If we do run out of oxygen, we'll just stick a needle in your ego. There should be plenty of hot air to go around." -From 'Civics Lesson' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Visit Mirage & Jelpy's GenX Fanfic Archive! http://gen-x.simplenet.com --------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====----------------------- http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet