Review:  "A Fallen Angel" by Chloe Novak


The story idea itself is a good one:  The day Anya died as told from her
father's POV.  Eric Magnus Lehnsherr, his wife Magda and their young
daughter Anya have come to settle in the town of Vannitza and Eric has
found work.  After his first day of employ the future Magneto finds that
his new boss wants to cheat him out of his wages.  He refuses and
inadvertently almost harms the man with a crowbar.  When he returns to
his family at the inn he discovers the inn on fire and Magda desperately
trying to save their daughter from the fire.  He manages to save Magda
using his powers and is about to save Anya when he prevented by soldiers
and his angry employer.  Well, we all know the story and a powerful one
it is. Angst and Magneto just seem to go hand in hand I guess.  When you
have a past history like his full of death and horror it's hard to find
sunshine and good will towards all, isn't it?  The problem with the
story is that it's full of sentences that start "and then he" and "he
then", etc.  Now mind there's nothing wring with simple exposition but
these literary trees aren't just sparse the poor wintry things are
*nude*.  The pacing is nice though and there are times when the laconic
retelling tugs at the heart with it's very paucity.  There are some
haunting images here:  Magneto gathering his daughters ashes and then
burying them beneath her favorite tree.  Jesus Lord on a cruise
missile.  That one nearly got me, I'll admit.  And no, I don't care that
it couldn't have happened! *Dannell sticks her tongue out at reality*  I
know a human body doesn't turn to ashes when it's burned in a simple
building fire - it takes a very very hot fire indeed to do that.  And
you still have to break up pieces of bone.  Ask Magneto about that.

This is a fine story and with practice the author will get a lot
better.  She has the right instincts.  Like  most of us she just needs a
little practice with the tools of her trade is all:):)  Ya'll keep on
writing Chloe!


Dannell!