------------------------------------------------------------------------ Article 1258 of 17764 Subject: New: Trip to Nowhere 000 From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Date: 1996/12/02 Message-Id: <32a76d0e.820906@news.sprynet.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Organization: Sprynet News Service Mime-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative TRIP TO NOWHERE By Christine Wirick ***comments, please, please, please!!!*** Disclaimers, summaries and other information My thanks and acknowledgment must go out to Paramount, Gene Roddenberry, Rick Berman, Michael Piller and to Brannon Braga for writing the episode "Parallels," for which my idea to write in this alternate universe sprang. And last, but certainly not least, thanks to all of you who have e-mailed me with encouragement to continue this series! "Trip to Nowhere" will be by far the largest story in my Worf & Deanna series and will be written entirely in their daughter's viewpoint. It will take her from the age of 5 ½ to 23. Of course, lots of other stories will have the potential of branching off of TTN (one is already coming!) Each of these may or may not include Shannara as a character, but none will be in her viewpoint. If anyone is interested in collaborating or even writing a "branch" solo, please e-mail me with any proposals. There are far too many possibilities (including a P/C marriage) in "my" universe for a single writer to write them all. This project will be divided into six books and each book into two or three parts. Anyway, I should explain how I am labeling the parts, so it will make sense to anyone interested in reading them. Each posting will contain three numbers. The first will correspond with the book it is from. The second which part of the book, and the last the chapter of that part. For example, 111=Book 1, Part 1, Chapter 1, and 213=Book 2, Part 1, Chapter 3. Make sense? The first book will take place entirely on the Enterprise and will follow Shannara through the middle of her thirteenth year. I don't want to give away too much, but expect a favorite omnipotent entity to pop up soon. . . . TRIP TO NOWHERE Contents (at least as far as I've planned out, anyway) Book 1: Nowhere Plans Prologue: 2396 Part 1: Guardian Angel (Age 5-7) Chapter 1: Who Am I? 2: A Beast Among Us 3: Magic Pencil 4: The Wall 5: IQ (More than an IQ test) 6: Data Analysis 7: Nebula 8: P's and Q's (Beverly Picard) Part 2: Discoveries Within (Age 8-10) Chapter 1: Sleep Over 2: The Project 3. Quantum Leaps (Akodians) 4. Welcome Back (Voyager) 5. Lost and Found Part 3: In Search Of. . . (Age 11-13) Chapter 1: Shall We Qontinue? 2: Inside the Q 3: Who Q? Where Q? 4: Interference 5: Look at You All 6: Never, Never Land Book 2: Anytime, Anyplace, Anywhere (rest of age 13) Part 1: Nobody in the Fifth House Betazed Chapter 1: Interchanges 2: The Undressing 3: Come as You Are 4: Silence is Golden 5: The Games Q Play 6: New Horizons Part 2: Life's Equations (Age 14) Part 3: Elsewhere (Age 15-16) Book 3: Someone Special Part 1: Applications (Age 17) Chapter 1: Rhiannon Part 2: Whereabouts (Age 18) Book 4: Sense of Belonging (Age 19) Book 5: All Alone at the Top Part 1: (Age 19-20) Part 2: Search and ResQ (Age 21) Book 6: Some Reality Somewhere (Age 22-23) Updates and changes will be noted in future posts. Look for 111-114 to follow this post. 115 IQ will hopefully be posted before the year's end along with a concurrent story titled "InQubation." Happy reading! Christine ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Home á Power Search á Post to Usenet á Ask DN Wizard á Help Why use DN? á | á Advertising Info á | á New Features! á | á Policy Stuff Copyright ® 1996 Deja News, Inc. All rights reserved. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Article 1259 of 17764 Subject: New: Trip to Nowhere 111 From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Date: 1996/12/02 Message-Id: <32a36c4e.628628@news.sprynet.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-Ascii Organization: Sprynet News Service Mime-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Trip To Nowhere A Giant Alternate TNG Novel By Christine Wirick Prologue: I study my life as a historian might examine the ancient pyramids of Egypt. My life is a mystery, perhaps of lesser importance to the universe, but equally as cryptic. Reflecting on the myriad of destinations, explorations, or interactions I have encompassed over the years, I still puzzle over the absurdity of some. A wise entity once told me, "Shannara, your complexities challenge the very existence of your people." Those words, offered to me at the age of six, vexed me wherever I traveled. My people. Who exactly are my people? Klingons. . .Humans. . .Betazoids? I never knew exactly with whom I fit in. Although I could not grasp his meaning, that entity, who almost in a sardonic tone referred to himself as my guardian angel, managed to profoundly influence my expeditions of the mind. Whether that influence has been positive or negative is almost impossible to evaluate. At times, he has seemed to mock me, popping into my life at the most inopportune moments. He follows his own schedule, his own agenda-- or perhaps he feels such precise planning is superfluous. What's a millennium or two to an entity celebrating his millionth birthday? I asked him once why he's so obsessed with my misdirected life, and he told me that my masochistic nature was quite fascinating. He couldn't resist guiding me along a bit. I could not determine if he was complimenting me or condemning me. Was he serious? Anyway, here I am, Shannara Rozhenko at twenty-three, waiting for my ship to dock so I can transport to Earth and visit a dear old friend of mine. Maybe he can help me ponder the nature of my existence for a millennium or two. If only I could stay in one place that long. . . . ***** Book One: Nowhere Plans Part One: Guardian Angel Chapter One: Who Am I? Eighteen years ago. . . . . I just know I'm going to hate school, but Mommy will make me go. Daycare was bad enough, with all those big kids picking on me. I was so glad when they had to go to school. But now Mommy says she's sending me to school! What should I do when the big kids pick on me again? If I fight back, I will be the one to get into trouble. That's the way it always happens. I roll onto my side, not wanting to get out of bed. I watch the stars zooming by out my viewwindow. To me, it's about the most exciting thing about living on the Enterprise. "Shannara," Mommy calls from the other room, "Are you awake yet?" Oh, I don't want to answer her, but I must! "Yes, Mommy," I reply groggily, hoping she can hear me. I step out of bed and rub at my eyes as I walk toward the doorway to poke my head out. I can sense Mommy in the living area, and know she can sense me. I do not know what she is thinking, though Grandma Lwaxana tells me that one day, I may develop that ability. I can, however, clearly pick up on what Mommy is feeling. She is practically fuming at me. "You should be dressed by now," she says. "Do you need help putting your romper on?" "No! I'm a big girl." That's all I need, Mommy treating me like a baby. I dash toward my dresser and take out one of the new outfits Mommy had replicated me for the new school year. After slipping out of my nightie, I fumble with the buttons on my romper. Why hadn't Mommy replicated me something with a zipper? No, I have to have something with these cute little doggie-shaped buttons. Dressed, I run out to the living area, hungry for breakfast. I hope Mommy hasn't made me oatmeal again. I look around for Mommy and catching her walking from her room to mine and back out a minute later. She has both our nightgowns in her hand, along with Eric's pajamas. "Shannara, you forgot to place this in the clothes chute." "Sorry Mommy," I reply as I sit down at the table beside Eric. He is my baby brother. He still needs someone to dress him. Smiling, Eric reaches toward me with sticky fingers. "Don't touch me!" I jerk away from him. Mommy can make him stop. "Mommy!" "Sit on the other side of the table, Shannara, and he won't be able to touch you." Here we go again. If I tell on someone, I'm always the one to get into trouble. I really don't want to go to school!" As I push the bowl across the table, the stuff inside jiggles. I don't want to eat it. Maybe if I don't, Mommy will think I'm sick. "Shannara, please eat. We have to leave soon." I raise my spoon and swirl the gooey stuff, trying to decide if I can really swallow any of it. I look at Eric, who is shoveling his portion in with his hands. It looks even yuckier being worn on his face. "Mommy, I don't feel so good. My tummy hurts." Mommy kneels down, looking me straight in the eyes. "It's just nerves, Sweetheart." She squeezes my shoulder. Mommy understands what I am feeling, as always, and yet I sense she will not give in to my wishes. Sometimes, Mommies and Daddies are hard to understand. "Everyone gets nervous when they face something new, even grownups." "Can't I wait just a little longer? Maybe I'll be ready next week." "No." I knew that would be her answer, but I had to try. "If you don't go now, you'll just build on your fear. Trust me. In a few days, you'll enjoy school so much that you'll look forward to going." Me want to go to school! "I don't think so." "You should try school for at least a week before you decide whether it's something you like or not." "Then can I stay home?" "That is not an option." I groan, unable to think up any more excuses. I consider my breakfast again. Although I feel reluctant to taste it, my rumbling stomach is demanding to be fed. So I slowly bring a spoonful of the mush to my mouth and swallow it. It tastes no better than oatmeal. Before I can complain further about the meal, Eric leans toward Mommy and grabs her sleeve with his sticky hand. "Mama," he says innocently. "Oh. . . .Eric," Mommy exclaims. "Now Mommy has to change her uniform." I smile at my little brother as Mommy walks into her bedroom. Well, I will have to go to school, but now I have a reason for being late. ***** Mommy informs me that the school room is on deck 21 after we've dropped Eric off at daycare. That seems so far away from deck 8 where we live. What if I can't find my way back home? "Mommy, you will come pick me up, won't you? Just like at daycare?" "Of course, Sunshine," Mommy replies, bending down to offer me a reassuring hug. "It will be at least a couple of years before you will be able to come home on your own." "I don't think I'll ever get used to this." "You will. And it won't take long." The turbodoor opens and we step out into the corridor. What awaits me around the corner? Are there school kids who are much bigger than any who came to daycare? Sometimes school kids come to daycare when school is out. But I just know there's going to be even bigger kids at school. Will they like me? Will they treat me like a baby and make fun of my ridges? "Shannara, we're already running late," Mommy says, turning around when she realizes I am not following her. I am still standing beside the turbolift. "You're making this much harder than it has to be." Am I? Could there really be an easier way? Reluctantly, I step forward and accept Mommy's hand. It wouldn't be so bad if I could just convince Mommy to stay in school with me all day. We reach the schoolroom, and as Mommy approaches the teacher to talk to her for a moment, I look at all the other kids. Some are big; some are small. Most are Humans, but a few are other races. I am the only one with any Klingon, of course. My Daddy is the only Klingon officer aboard the Enterprise. I sense that none of the other children are as frightened as I am. I feel ashamed and weak, stripped of my honor. "Shannara, if you would take a seat in the front row," the teacher says, "we can get started." I glance at Mommy, fighting against tears. I can't give the others a reason to call me a baby. "Please, don't go," I say barely above a whisper. "Don't make a scene, Shannara," Mommy says firmly. "I'll be back for lunch.." Without hesitation, she leaves me there, standing in front of the class. I guess my only choice is to take that seat in the front row. The kids closoest to me are about my age. The others farther back are bigger. I relax a little, knowing I would be up front close to the teacher. "Welcome to the first day of school," the teacher begins. "I see a few new faces. I'm Mrs. Dewberry. I have data padds and pencils for those of you who still need them. Just raise your hand if you don't have one and I'll come around." I have played with Mommy's data padd before. She lets me doodle on it. I am not sure if I'll like having one for schoolwork, but I'll get in trouble if I don't ask for one. I raise my hand and soon, the teacher comes around to me and places a padd and pencil in front of me. "Those of you whom I've had before, I'd like for you to take a little while to write about what you've done over the past several weeks. Did you go anywhere or try anything new and exciting? Beginning students, I would like to have you go sit on the rug." She pointed to a circular rug in the far corner. Two boys and two other girls join me on the rug. I know three of them from daycare. I don't know their names. None of them have ever offered to play with me. We wait for a couple of minutes, while Mrs. Dewberry makes sure the other kids are doing as instructed. I study the other kids in my group as they study me. The are all Human; I am sure of it. One is eyeing me with suspicion. I can sense that she does not like me. Why? I don't even know her. Mrs. Dewberry comes over and sits on the rug in front of us. "On the first day of class , I like to have my new students introduce themselves. It'll help you relax as you get to know one another and hopefully become friends. I'll go first to help you get started." She pauses before beginning her introduction. "Hi, I'm Mrs. Dewberry. I'll be your teacher this year. My husband and I have two children, Amanda, who is in the first grade, and Shayne, who won't begin school until next year. I enjoy teaching, especially small children, and in my spare time, I do a lot of reading. She smiles at us and to my disappointment, nods in my direction. Surely, she isn't going to make me go next! I don't know what to say to them. "Shannara," she says, "You're quite a unique little girl. Why don't you share some of your heritage with us." "I--" I feel my cheeks grow warm. "Do you understand what I'm asking?" I nod. Why does she want me to talk about being Klingon, though? It's obvious to everyone that I'm part Klingon. Not like I can hide my ridges from anyone, you know. "I'm part Betazoid," I decide to announce instead. I hope they will find this fascinating. "I am only one-quarter, but I can sense people's feelings as well as my Mommy. She says it's quite rare for a child to have this ability." "No way!" one of the boys exclaims. "What am I feeling now?" He feels like laughing; I can sense he believes I'm ridiculous. I don't want to say this aloud. "Bradley," the teacher scolds, "please refrain from being rude." I don't know how to continue. What more can I say about myself? My Daddy always tells me I should be honored to be Klingon, but sitting in a group with others who are only Human, makes me feel like an outcast. I don't want to be different. "Shannara?" Mrs. Dewberry says with concern. "I don't really know who I am," I admit. "My name is Shannara Rozhenko. That's all I know." "That's quite a confession from such a little girl!" Mrs. Dewberry glows with concern for a moment, and then as she smiles at me, I can sense that she wants to help me relax. "Maybe you have some hobbies you'd like to share with the rest of the group." I think about this for a moment, and remembering about the data padd, finally say, "I like to doodle." This brings snickers from the other kids. "I mean, to draw." I bow my head. Mommy told me I would learn to like school. How long will this lesson take? "Bradley, why don't you go next." I am relieved their attention is taken away from me. Within minutes, I know all of their names: Bradley, Eddie, Susan, and Tammy. All Human names, just like I expected. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Home á Power Search á Post to Usenet á Ask DN Wizard á Help Why use DN? á | á Advertising Info á | á New Features! á | á Policy Stuff Copyright ® 1996 Deja News, Inc. All rights reserved. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Article 1264 of 17764 Subject: New: Trip to Nowhere 112 From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Date: 1996/12/02 Message-Id: <32a46c82.680005@news.sprynet.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-Ascii Organization: Sprynet News Service Mime-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Book One: Nowhere Plans Part One: Guardian Angel Chapter Two: A Beast Among Us I make it through the first couple of weeks of school without any permanent scars. Mommy asks me every day how I am liking school, and I always reply the same: "Can't say I do." Still, she continues to make me go day after day." Mrs. Dewberry is teaching us how to count to twenty and every day, we learn a new letter of the alphabet, Federation Standard English of course, and the sound each makes. In a few weeks, she tells us, we will be learning how to read from flash cards. I get along with Susan okay, I suppose, but Tammy likes to pinch me or poke me with her data pencil. I haven't told Mrs. Dewberry. If I do, I will somehow be the one to get into trouble. That's who I am, I guess; the one always getting into trouble. One day after we finish our lessons, Mrs. Dewberry asks our group to sit on the rug again. "I'm going to tell you a story today, kids," she tells us. "I've decided to share a classic Earth fairy tale with you, and I've narrowed it down to two." She opens her hands to show us the two data chips she is holding. "One is titled 'Cinderella' and the other 'Beauty and the Beast.' Which would you like to hear?" "The Beauty!" Tammy exclaims. "Yeah, I want that one, too," Susan agrees. Both boys just shrug. So our teacher turns to me for a final decision. Yeah, like I would really choose 'Cinderella." The tale begins with a sixteen-year old girl living in poverty after misfortune has befallen her merchant father. The girl is forced to do all the cooking and cleaning while her father works and her two sisters play. At least she has her beauty, which makes her sisters very jealous. I ponder the definition of beauty. Turning to look at my companions, I wonder how they see beauty. Is Susan beautiful with her copper-colored hair and freckles? Or is Tammy the beautiful one with her long blonde braids and smooth face? I know I am not the beautiful one. Who in the world would think that a set of thick ridges weighing on your face is beautiful? One day, Beauty's father has to go to town to make a delivery. Beauty helps him prepare for the long trip, packing his clothes and plenty of food to eat. "Couldn't he transport the stuff there?"Eddie asks innocently. They were poor and couldn't afford a transporter, I think. "No," replies the teacher. "This story was written a long time ago before transporters were invented, even before they had vehicles with engines. They used carts pulled by animals." "How'd they meet up with all the aliens in the Federation then?" Bradley asks. An alien, yep, that's what I am. I squirm uncomfortably. The teacher smiles at him. I don't have a clue how the Federation got started. Daddy could tell me how he reacted to Humans and how they reacted to him. "We are wandering away from the story," Mrs. Dewberry says, "but to answer your question, we met aliens a long time after this story was written. By that time, we had spacecrafts. Now to continue the story." Mrs. Dewberry taps her padd. Beauty's father offers to bring back gifts. Her sisters ask for new dresses, shoes, and jewelry, but Beauty asks only for a rose. On his trip, however, the merchant is trapped in a snow storm and loses all his cargo. He takes respite in a large house where he finds a hot meal and a warm bed, with no sign of a host. The next morning, he wandered into the garden and picked a rose for Beauty. The owner, a powerful monstrous beast with long hair and claws, caught him and held him captive. Susan and Tammy gasped at the description. I listen intent on every detail. Why is the Beast so mean? Another question gnaws at me with an even greater intensity: Is that who I am-- the daughter of a beast? Beauty's father has meant no harm. He only wanted to get out of the cold, wet rain. It scares me that others might think of my Daddy as a beast. He does have a temper. Beauty's father begs for mercy and the Beast agrees to let him go only if he sends one of his daughters in his place. If neither volunteers, then the merchant must return. Wanting to see his daughters one last time, he agrees to the Beast's demand. Upon returning home, he presents the rose to Beauty and tells his daughters of the Beast. Since she loves her father so much and feels responsible for his dilemma, Beauty offers to go to the Beast. "Oh, she can't!" Susan exclaims. "What will he do to her?" "Probably lock her up in a brig," Bradley offers. "You would never catch me agreeing to live with a beast," Tammy sais, and as she speaks, she glances at me. What is she thinking about me? I know what I think of her; she's just like one of the sisters. Beauty sees little of the beast, but her meals are provided for her and when she wonders through the castle, she finds beautiful clothes, shoes, and jewelry--all the luxuries her sisters demanded. How ironic, for Beauty finds her own treasure in the vast library and reads away her days in the castle. One day, she even finds a magic mirror that can show her anyplace on Earth. The Beast allows her to take it to her room, and she checks on her father every night before retiring. Every evening, the Beast calls on Beauty and asks her two questions. "Do you find me ugly?" She does. "Will you marry me?" She could never marry anyone so ugly. Dismayed, the Beast leaves her for solitude. "That's all the time we have for today," Mrs. Dewberry announces. "We will finish this story and discuss it further tomorrow." She raises her hands, indicating that we should get up from the rug. "You're parents will be here any minute, so gather up your stuff and wait at your desks." As I walk back to my desk, I look at all the other kids in the classroom and wonder if any of them are watching me and what they are thinking about me. An Andorian, a few years older than me, pops her head up and smiles at me. Her antennas bob slightly. I can sense that she understands how I feel. She is the only Andorian in this room. Maybe she will be my friend, I decide and hope to have the opportunity to approach her later. I try to draw on my padd, but Tammy makes this difficult. "Doing some more do-do- doodling?" she whispers in my direction. She could not hold back her snickers, and the teacher looks at her sternly. "Please be quiet, Tammy. You are disrupting the other students." I smile as I continue to work on my picture. For once, Tammy is the one getting into trouble. My Mommy is the first to arrive and I run to her almost dropping my data padd and pencil in my hurry. "Shannara don't run," Mommy scolds but gives me a hug anyway. "What time is Daddy going to be home?"I ask after we wonder a ways down the corridor. "He will be home shortly." Good I think. I have some questions that only Daddy can answer. Next we pick up Eric at daycare and then go to our quarters on deck 8. I try to finish my drawing out in the living area, but Eric will not quit pestering me, and so I go to my room. I have just finished the drawing when Daddy arrives and I show it to him when he steps into my room. He tries to pretend he knows what I have drawn, but I can tell he can't. "It is very. . . .beautiful," he says slowly. "It is!" I can't believe he said that. "But that's the Beast. He's suppose to be ugly. No one likes him. He's mean and scary and no one wants to stay with him." I don't realize the tears are coming until several have splattered on my data padd. "They don't love him." Daddy gently removed the padd from my hands and set it down on my small desk. " What has brought this on?" "A story called Beauty and the beast. Mrs. Dewberry says that the beast is really mean and ugly." I wiped my eyes, trying to calm down enough not to stutter or slur my words. " Daddy, do people think you are a beast?" He fixed me with a startled look of realization. I almost wished I hadn't asked the question. I bite at my lower lip, determined to hear the answer. "Those who do are not worthy of our consideration. I am a Klingon. It is not honorable to be ashamed of one's race. You are born who you are and no one has the right to mock you." "But who am I? I am not all Klingon." "No, but even one with a mixed heritage has something to be proud of. Your values ,beliefs, and morals all must come from within you." I wasn't sure I understood what daddy was talking about, nor if I ever would. "I can't find them." " you will in time." "Why does nobody like the beast?" I moved closer to daddy showing my love with a firm hug. I didn't want him to ever doubt that. "They are afraid of him because they do not understand him. Most people fear others who are different and do not understand. "Then why did mommy fall in love with you?" Daddy appeared in deep thought. "You will have to ask your mother that question." "Do you think the beast deserves to be loved?" "Yes, I believe the beast behaves as he does because of the way he has always been treated. "Then if someone would just love him maybe he would be nice to everyone I kissed daddy on the cheek."I love you daddy." "I love you too" he said. He retrieved my data padd and again looked at my drawing. Pressing buttons on the padd, he said "we should save this." he handed the padd back to me. "Do not be ashamed of who you are, Shannara." He touched me on the nose, and I couldn't help smile. Daddy could always cheer me up. ***** "Alexander will be returning in a few weeks," Daddy announces over dinner. My big brother has been away for a long time, since shortly after Eric was born. I talk with him sometimes over subspace transmissions, but it's not like actually having him here. "Hooray!" I exclaim, drumming my hands on the table. Eric does not understand my excitement, but he thinks it's fun to join in on the pounding of the table. Mommy raises a hand, signaling us to stop, while she looks at Daddy. "That's wonderful," she says. "How long will he be able to stay?" "Indefinitely," Daddy replies. "He has finished his studies on Q'ronos. We will have to request a quarters with an additional room." "Or perhaps Alexander would prefer to have his own quarters. After all, he's been living more than a year on his own already." "Yes, of course. I should have considered that. I will put in a request on his behalf immediately." ***** That night, as Mommy tucks me into bed, I ask her why she loves my Daddy. She smiles at me sweetly and pulls up my desk chair to sit beside me. "Your Daddy and I were good friends long before we fell in love. We changed--we grew together, and we slowly fell in love. It's that kind of love that can be the strongest, healthiest, because it is built on friendship and a deep commitment." Mommy, did you think Daddy was a beast when you first met him?" "No. I knew he was a Klingon. It is improper to judge someone by their race." "Then it's okay to love, Daddy?" "Of course!" Mommy kisses me on the forehead and after returning the chair, leaves the room. It takes me a while to fall asleep as I think over the story some more. I know Mommy loves Daddy. I love Daddy. I guess, if I must be honest, I am really looking for reassurance that somebody loves me. ***** The following day, Mrs. Dewberry continues the fairy tale. Using her magic mirror, Beauty learns that her father is seriously ill and begs the Beast to let her go to him. The Beast agrees, but only if she will return in eight days. I am fascinated by the magic mirror and wonder if I can convince Daddy to get me one. I could see anyplace, perhaps anytime, and it would be almost like being anywhere. Beauty cares for her father and nurses him back to health. During this time, to Beauty's amazement, she finds herself missing the Beast. "Why does she miss the Beast?" I blurt out without thinking. "I thought she found him disgusting." "Beauty is beginning to realize that a person's appearance does not define who they are underneath. She has seen more than any magic mirror could ever show her." Jealous, her sisters trick her into believing her father cannot survive without her, and so Beauty stays pass the eight days. She has a dream, though, that the Beast is dying, because of her broken promise. Despite her fears, Beauty returns to the Beast's palace. "My Mommy tells me that dreams aren't real," Susan announces. "So why does Beauty believe the Beast is really in danger?" "That's a good question," Mrs. Dewberry says. "Throughout history people have believed in prophecy. These are any signs of what is to come. They especially believed this was true of dreams." "It's like sensing what others are feeling," I say. "That's true, Shannara. You should understand Beauty's connection with the Beast better than the others. In a real sense, her relationship with the Beast has become quite empathic." I smile broadly finally feeling some of that honor in my heritage. Only I am not ignorant to the fact that this pride is coming from my Betazoid part, rather than my Klingon half. "Can you sense what I'm feeling now?" Tammy asks. I can hear the ice in her voice; sense her disgust in her feelings. Why does she always have to cut me down? I have done nothing to encourage her. "You disgust me!" "Shannara!" the teacher snaps. "Apologize to Tammy." "No, that's--" "Would you rather sit at your desk?" I meant to say that I was voicing what Tammy is thinking about me, but the teacher will not let me finish. She thinks I am the one being rude. "I'm sorry," I say, head bowed. "Very well then," Mrs. Dewberry responds and continues the story. When Beauty arrives at the castle, she finds the beast crumpled in his garden, almost dead. She cries as she kneels to him and exclaims "You must live, beast so we can get married!" suddenly everything changes around them. The castle's walls sparkle a new and the flowers grow brighter. In the next moment, the Beast transforms into a handsome prince. "You have broken the enchantment and set me free by loving me despite my ugliness." I am very confused by this. My Daddy did not transform when my Mommy fell in love with him. So why does the Beast when Beauty falls in love with him? Couldn't Beauty love him as he was? Why do so many Humans see themselves as the beautiful ones? After Beauty's family arrive at the palace they witness Beauty and the Beast's wedding. The sisters are so jealous they turned to stone statues. ***** "Mommy, do Humans think they're the only beautiful ones?" I ask on our way to pick up Eric. "No, not most Humans. What gave you that idea?" "Well, when Beauty fell in love with the Beast, he transformed into a handsome prince--a Human prince. Aren't there any Klingon princes?" "I think so," Mommy says with a smile. "Your father certainly charms me." "Then the Beast didn't have to change, and that story's stupid." "Actually, Shannara." Mommy stops walking to kneel to my eye level. "It's probably a very good thing you were told that story. You know why? Because it has made you think, about your Daddy, yourself, and about all the other people in the universe. It was written during a time when most Humans believed they were alone in the universe. But it still holds a great truism in this century. The story is suppose to show the reader that there is more than one kind of beauty. What comes within a person, who she or he is, is far more important than how they look." "Then do I have more beauty than someone who likes to push or poke others?" "Of course." I smile, for now I understand the definition of beauty. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Home á Power Search á Post to Usenet á Ask DN Wizard á Help Why use DN? á | á Advertising Info á | á New Features! á | á Policy Stuff Copyright ® 1996 Deja News, Inc. All rights reserved. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Article 1238 of 17764 Subject: New: Trip to Nowhere 113 From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Date: 1996/12/02 Message-Id: <32a56c9f.709085@news.sprynet.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-Ascii Organization: Sprynet News Service Mime-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Chapter Three: Magic Pencil ". . . .and I want purple roses on my cake," I tell Mommy one morning at breakfast. I have just described my upcoming birthday party in great detail to her. I will be turning six in only five days! There is something magical about the anticipation of a birthday. I will be older, bigger, and the attention will be on me. "All right, all right," Mommy says. "I know you're excited, but you still have school this morning, young lady. We'll talk about this when you get home." She stands, gathering our bowls and takes the dishes to the replicator to be converted back into energy. While she is cleaning up Eric, I run into my room to get my data padd and pencil. Mrs. Dewberry expects me to practice writing words today and wouldn't be happy if I forgot the padd again. Besides, I have some pictures I want to show Hope. She's the Andorian girl. She's very nice and agreed to become my friend when I approached her during recess one day. Returning to the table with my padd, I sit down to glance over the pictures to make sure they are all finished to my liking. "Come on, Shannara. Let's go!" Mommy says as she walks toward the door, carrying Eric on one hip and a handle bag filled with his paraphernalia around her opposite shoulder. Placing my data padd under my arm, I rush to catch up with her. It will be another day of boring normalcy, I'm sure, but it will get me one day closer to my special day. Be sure to invite everyone to your birthday party," Mommy says as we reach my classroom several minutes later. "Everyone?" I question, stopping in the doorway. "Please, don't make me invite Tammy!" "You know how you'd feel if you were left out." "But some of the kids are mean to me." "Maybe by inviting them to your party, you'll convince them to see it as a peace offering." Some things parents just cannot understand. I decide not to argue with Mommy anymore, while at the same time firmly remaining against the idea of inviting Tammy or a few other of the kids to my party. It's my party and I'll invite who I want to. Mommy kisses me and then turns to walk away. I am getting used to this routine, aren't I? This dull, normal routine. "Good morning, Shannara," the teacher greets me as I step into the classroom. She continues to acknowledge her other students as they enter. She is a pleasant woman, I decide. At least, she makes school bearable. I approach Hope and hold my data padd out toward her. "I drew some pictures for you, Hope," I say. "I thought they might cheer you up." My friend had not been feeling well yesterday after finding out her beloved pet cat had died. "They're pictures of you and Shadow, so you can remember him forever." I can sense that she is overwhelmed with gratitude mixed with the grief she still feels. "Oh, thank you," she says as she takes my padd to look through the three pictures. "I'll copy them onto a data chip later." She hands my padd back to me. "I'm having a birthday party in five days. I'm going to be six years old. Would you like to come?" "Sure, I'd love to." "Can I come, too?" We turn to see Bradley standing next to us. I suppose, he's okay. "If you want to," I tell him. "I guess boys can come." "You're not going to have a bunch of frilly girl's stuff are you?" Somehow, his question makes me think of Tammy. That would be just the sort of party she would want to have. "No, of course not. We'll play games on the holodeck. How does Skip the Rock sound?" "I don't believe I know that one," Hope says. "It's fun," Bradley tells her. "You jump from rock to rock in a stream and the winner is the last one to stay dry." "And we can use the holodeck to play Hide and Seek and all sorts of fun games," I say. "Who else are you going to invite." I look around the room and realize I really don't know any of the other kids outside of my group very well. "I don't know." "Well, you have to have at least five for a decent game." "Then I'll invite Susan and Eddie," I say, walking away from them to catch Susan and Eddie's attention. Both agree to come to the party on Holodeck Three at 1800 hours on Wednesday. My birthday. I'm so looking forward to being the special one. The chime indicating the beginning of the school day rings and everyone scrambles for their desks. When everyone is seated, the teacher announces, "Today class, we are going to be working on our spelling. Please activate your data padds and write your names at the top right- hand corner." After I turn on my padd, I suddenly realize I have lost my data pencil. I look under my desk thinking I have dropped it. But it is not there! I look over at Mrs. Dewberry, wondering how angry she will be with me. I don't want to be yelled at for being forgetful, but if I don't get my assignment done I will probably be in even greater trouble. I raise my hand and wait for her to call on me. "Yes, Shannara?" "I don't have a pencil," I say and lower my eyes in shame. "What is that on the top edge of your data padd?" Running my hand along the data padd, to my further embarrassment, I discover my pencil. But I swear it wasn't there a moment ago! I hear some snickering around the room, and I do my best to ignore them. I flip on my data padd and as I begin to write the letters of my name, I suddenly feel strange. It is almost as though I am not holding the pencil and that it is forming the letters for me. As the teacher walks by each of the beginners' desks to check that we have spelled our names and formed the letters correctly, she stops for a closer look at mine. "Well done, Shannara," she says. "Your handwriting is really improving." I smile and take note that she doesn't comment on the handwriting of the others in the group. Maybe today, I'm not the one getting into trouble. Later during recess, I decide to draw a picture for Alexander on my padd. He will be returning shortly, and I want him to know I welcome him home. I know that he has a pet Targ named Wynie and that he really cares for the animal, so I draw a picture of Alexander walking Wynie on the streets of Q'ronos. I wish I could go to Q'ronos. I wish I could go anywhere. I have only been on a planet a couple of times, once on my fourth birthday and then later when we visited Grandma Lwaxana for a week. I have been inside the holodeck several times to visit popular planets, but somehow I imagine it isn't the same. I hate living on a starship. When Alexander comes, I'm going to ask him to tell me all--absolutely everything--about living on a planet. As I save the picture to a file, the figures on the screen begin moving! I cannot believe what I am seeing and blink my eyes several times. They are still moving and I swear I can even hear the Targ mewing at me. I glance around to see if anyone else can hear it. "Susan, Susan," I exclaim. She rushes over from the clubhouse area where she is playing with some dolls. "What is it?" I point at my data padd and to my disappointment, she still looks confused. Turning back to the picture, I realize that it is unchanged, unmoving--still the same old drawing that I made for Alexander. I examine the pencil still in my hand, rolling it with my fingers. Surely, I had imagined the whole thing. "Nothing," I finally say. "I just thought you'd like to see the picture I drew for my brother." "Oh nice," she replies with little feeling. I can sense she doesn't really care. I clear the screen on my data padd. Maybe Alexander will care. Maybe he will even let me play with his Targ. When Mommy comes to pick me up from school, she says, "I have a surprise for you, Shannara." "What is it?" I ask, skipping down the corridor. "You'll see when we get home." We do not stop at Deck Eight. "Mommy, why didn't we stop to pick up Eric?" "Because Eric is already home with Daddy." "Daddy's home early!" I exclaim "Is that my surprise?" "Part of it," Mommy replies mysteriously. When we walk through the door, I see Daddy and Eric play wrestling. I don't see any sign of the surprise. I half turn back toward Mommy, about to ask her for my surprise when someone jumps out from the corner and startles me. "Surprise!" Alexander exclaims. He looks so much different, older. After staring dumbfounded at him for a moment, I realize why: He is beginning to grow hair on his face. More than before, I can recognize his resemblance to our father. I leap into my brother's arms, and he spins me around. "I can't believe you're finally here," I say and giggle. Daddy gets up from the floor and comes to us. "Welcome home, Alexander," he says, patting my brother on the shoulder. "It is good to have you back." "Yeah!" I agree. "Are you going to stay here from now on?" "I don't know. I'll have to think about that one. But I can promise you a trip to the holodeck tomorrow." I clap my hands, excited that I will not have to spend Saturday at the daycare. "That is if it's okay with you, Deanna." Mommy smiles and nods her agreement. That decided, I lift my data padd, still clutched firmly in my hand. "I drew this for you. It's a picture of you and Wynie." As he accepts the padd, I consider telling him that it was drawn with a magic pencil, but change my mind. They would not believe me. "I brought Wynie with me if you would like to see her later." "May I?" I ask, turning toward my parents. "After lunch," Mommy says. "Now go in the bathroom and clean up." Alexander sets me down, and I dash into the bathroom. I step up to the sink and reach for the handle, but stop before I turn it on. Instead, I reach into my pocket and pull out my pencil. I study it in my hand and then its image in the mirror. Is there anything special about it? I tap it against the countertop and spin it around. When I lose my grip, I expect it to clatter onto the floor. To my amazement, the pencil continues spinning for several seconds. I gasp, covering my mouth so no one can hear me. Finally, the pencil drops and rolls to the sink handle, reminding me of what I came into the bathroom for in the first place. I turn on the hot water and watch the steam rise to the mirror. Why am I standing here, not washing my hands? I do not know. I feel as though something I cannot see is keeping me glued to this very spot. Letters begin to form on the mirror and it dawns on me that whoever or whatever that is in the bathroom with me is spelling out my name. I scream. I run out of the room to plow into Daddy, who is already on his way to see what is wrong with me. "What has upset you?" he demands. "There's someone in the bathroom!" Daddy does not question my belief, and although I am still afraid, I follow him into the bathroom, remaining in the shadow of his protection. The water is still running, of course, and the room is filled with steam. Daddy turns off the water and as the steam begins to clear, he says, "There is no one in here." I am afraid he will accuse me of lying. Instead, he gently grasps my shoulder. "Do not be afraid. You should be brave and strong. Many enemies cannot be seen. You will have to--" "Worf?" We turn to see Mommy standing in the doorway. "Are you trying to frighten our daughter?" She is smiling, but I can sense her growing angry at Daddy. "I'm not frightened anymore," I say in Daddy's defense. "No, of course not," Daddy responds. "I was only trying to instill a sense of prowess in her so she might defend herself if necessary." "I don't want her to deny her Klingon heritage, but don't you think she's a bit young to be taught the ways of a warrior?" "I was given my first bat'leth for my fourth birthday." "Mommy, Daddy," I say, raising my voice. They glance at me, and Mommy says, "We'll continue this discussion later. We don't want to spoil Alexander's homecoming." Now I know I really don't want to tell anyone about my magic pencil. At least the argument is over and we can enjoy a peaceful dinner. After Mommy and Daddy leave, I turn to retrieve my pencil and discover it is no longer on the counter. I look under the sink but do not see it. I circle the room, searching the entire floor. It's gone! My magic pencil is gone! I should be glad, for all the trouble it has given me today. Yet I feel quite sad. I want to see what else it could have done for me. ***** The snout of the small beast tickles my fingers and I giggle. The Targ runs away from me and I chase after it, both of us squealing. Life can't get any better than this. I don't need any magic to keep me happy. My big brother is home! Alexander is staying in a one-bedroom quarters. He says I can visit whenever I like. What could be better than family? ***** It's Saturday afternoon, and Alexander has taken me for a trip in the holodeck. He instructs the computer to load a program from Q'ronos. "You can step through the doors first, Shannara," he says. As I enter the holodeck, I cannot believe this is a program. I can feel the ground squishing against my shoes and hear the roar of a nearby waterfall. Animals, which I cannot name, are splashing in the water. I turn to my brother. "It's beautiful." "Would you like to see the place where I was staying?" he asks. "Oh yes!" He points to my left. "It's in that direction." I tilt my head and around some flowering bushes, I can see a path that winds down a hill. This is Q'ronos? Where are all the flying vehicles and advanced technologies? I voice this question. "This is Q'ronos," my brother replies, "but it is the Q'ronos of fifteen hundred years past." "Why are you showing me the past? I thought you were going to show me the places where you were and what you did?" "Because I want to teach you a bit of what I learned about Q'ronos. You see, we Klingons value our history. It is a significant part of the honor each Klingon feels--to know we are descendants of Kahless' people." "The Unforgettable," I mumble. Daddy has told me the story of Kahless so many times that I could repeat it word for word. Still it is a fascinating story, and I would not mind hearing it from Alexander. "Yes, this is the Q'ronos he lived and died an honorable death on. He fought Morath for twelve days and twelve nights to restore his family's honor and to guide other honorable Klingons to Sto-vo-kor--the afterlife." "Daddy told me about Sto-vo-kor, but what is the afterlife?" Alexander is uncomfortable with the question. He does not wish to answer it. Why do I always ask such stupid questions? "I think Father should handle that question," he finally says. Let me show you the battle ground." "But you were going to show me where you stayed." "Yes. They are both nearby. In our time, the building is nearly two thousand years old and still standing proud." I don't understand how a building can be proud, but am sure Alexander knows what he is talking about. He leads me down the path until we reach a village where people are cleaning the debris from some type of accident. They are of all ages; even the elderly, who are barely able to walk, and children just out of diapers are joining in on the cleanup. "What has happened here, Alexander?" "This is the scene after the great battle. These people are the honorable followers of Kahless." "Really!" Daddy never told me much about what went on after the battle. He is always so intent on the battle itself. He loves every movement, every swing, thrust, and push. He knows how Kahless fought bravely against Morath. Die with honor. "These people are sad over the loss of Kahless, but even more than that, they are honored to have known him, to have served under him. Throughout history since, it has been the goal of many Klingons to master the art of the bat'leth and to become a great warrior like Kahless." The villagers are manually picking up the pieces and tossing them into a bin. They are filthy, many with scratches, and appear exhausted. How many hours have they been working already? I wish I could sense what they are feeling. Yet they are holograms. They can act out the movements of those from times past, but they cannot feel the pain, the anguish and they certainly aren't experiencing the sense of honor that the real people must have felt. "Is that what you want, to become a great warrior?" "No. I do not wish to engage in warfair." "Then why did you come here?" "That's a very intelligent question, Shannara. I came here to study our history. If I am to help our people see peace, then I need to understand our past. "How do you plan to do that?" "It will not be easy, but I plan to run for the position of embassador in a few years. I haven't yet told our father. I am not sure how he will react. I don't think Father has ever quite gotten over my refusal to become a warrior." "I could become his warrior." Alexander kneels down and grasps me by my sides. "No, Shannara!" "Why? Aren't girls allowed?" "It's not that. I just don't think that a Klingon should only be a warrior. Father thinks he wants to be a warrior and more importantly raise warriors, but deep down, I think he wants more than that. Promise me something, Shannara. Promise me you'll be more, that you will live up to your fullest potential." "How do I know what that is?" "You have to search within yourself." "Like ask myself. . . .who am I?" Every time I ask myself that question, I do not know how to answer it. All I know is who I am not and what I don't want to be. "I don't want to be Klingon," I announce. "What!" I swear all the holograms stop what they are doing to wait for my explanation. I cannot stand their eyes on me like lasers trying to rip me apart. I cover my ears with my hands and scream, "Be gone!" Suddenly, every one of the villagers vanishes. "Computer," Alexander says, "please reactivate holographic images." "Unable to comply. Holographic images have not been terminated." I do not understand what is happening, and it frightens me to see the same confusion in my brother's eyes. "What did you do?" He looks away from me without receiving a reply. "Computer, terminate program." The scenery melts into the holodeck walls. Maybe there never was a magic pencil. What if the magic is inside me? I don't think I want it. The idea frightens me. "I want to go home!" I run away from Alexander, calling for the computer to open the exit door. Moments later, I am sitting on the sofa in our quarters with Mommy and Daddy beside me. I am trying to calm down by ringing my fingers. I don't know how to explain to them what has been happening to me today. I don't understand it! "Please, tell us what has frightened you, Shannara," Mommy says in a soothing voice. I can sense that she is not feeling calm, however. They wait silently, anxiously for me to reply. "Alexander told us about the holographic characters disappearing," Daddy says. "Is that what frightened you?" "Yes," I respond slowly. "But that isn't all. I thought I had a magic pencil. I could write my name perfect with it. Ask Mrs. Dewberry! She really liked how much my handwriting had improved." "That's wonderful, Shannara," Mommy says. "I don't understand how you can equate that to having a magic pencil, though. Everyone improves with practice." "And then I drew that picture for Alexander. It started moving across the screen and-- and the Targ was mewing at me. "You certainly have a healthy imagination. Did your teacher give you this pencil?" "No." "Shannara," Mommy replies as she gets up to remove something from a desk drawer, "I don't know where you got this magic pencil of yours, but you left your data pencil on the table this morning." She hands the pencil to me, and I stare at it as though it is something I've never seen before. "Whoever loaned you a pencil, please try to remember to return it to them tomorrow." "I lost it." "Very well," my father interjects. "We will replace the pencil. Right now, we need to discuss the incident on the holodeck further." "Do we have to? I'm really not frightened anymore. . . .Father." I'm not sure why I have decided to call him by a more formal name. Perhaps, it is an attempt to be more like Alexander. I think it makes me sound older, braver. I decide to call him that from now on as his expression softens and I sense his mood shifting to one of pride. "You are a brave and honorable young lady." He glances at Mommy before continuing. She doesn't mind the direction he is taking, unlike before in my room. "Your mother and I have discussed it, and we have decided you are old enough to be taught some bat'leth techniques. If you are willing, I shall offer you a miniature bat'leth as your sixth-birthday gift." I'm not sure I want to learn anything about fighting, but I don't want to disappoint my Father. "Thank you, Father," I say, making eye contact with him and hoping he believes I am sincere. I can sense my Mother's doubt. She knows I am agreeing only to please my Father. Yet she does not say anything. I am curious as to why, but cannot reveal this in front of my Father. I wish to be more like my Mother. I admire her devotion to her Betazoid qualities. I wonder what she can teach me about my empathic abilities. I want to ask her whether my experiences today are normal for a Betazoid. Yet I am afraid of what her answer might be. "Good," Father says. "We will begin your first lesson tomorrow evening." Great. . . another trip to the holodeck. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Home á Power Search á Post to Usenet á Ask DN Wizard á Help Why use DN? á | á Advertising Info á | á New Features! á | á Policy Stuff Copyright ® 1996 Deja News, Inc. All rights reserved. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Article 1229 of 17764 Subject: New: Trip to Nowhere 114 From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Date: 1996/12/02 Message-Id: <32a66cb9.735392@news.sprynet.com> Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-Ascii Organization: Sprynet News Service Mime-Version: 1.0 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Chapter Four: The Wall It is only a couple days later, but already the subject of my magic pencil has been dropped. I want to forget about it and go on with a normal life. Somehow, I doubt that will happen. I am improving at getting ready for school and my Mother no longer feels rushed when dropping Eric and I off before she goes to work. I suppose it is because I am getting used to the routine. I couldn't possibly be learning to like school. As the turbolift comes to a stop, I ask my Mother, "May I walk to school from here by myself?" I want her to think I'm a big girl now, no longer afraid. "It's not far." "Yes, you may," she says with little hesitation. "Does this mean you're beginning to like school now?" "I wouldn't quite say that," I reply over my shoulder as I make my way down the corridor. The turbolift closes on my Mother, leaving me alone. I really am *not* afraid, I realize. This feeling of being invincible washes over me. I don't know what has caused this change inside me. All I know is that I have never been this confident. As I reach the door, I can sense Tammy nearby. She has something planned for me, I believe, but I cannot determine what. Whatever it is, how do I prepare for it? Could I wish her to be gone as I did the holograghic characters? I shudder as I anticipate such an option. Shannara, I tell myself, you don't want to be as evil as she is. I hesitate in the doorway, arms folded. I watch some of the other children playing as they wait for the school day to begin. I don't feel any animosity toward them and yet I see myself as their superior. I am better than them, stronger, smarter, braver. What has happened to me? Why should I have the right to consider myself better than them? I step forward, and sure enough, Tammy steps out in front of me. I sense a superior confidence in her, and although there is nothing unusual about that, I want to knock her down now more than ever. She thrusts something in my face. I do not flinch even as I anticipate a weapon. She can't hurt me! I know this. I have become invincible. A moment later, I realize the object is a mirror. "I have a magic mirror, just like Beauty," Tammy says. It looks like an ordinary mirror to me, but before I can thoroughly examine it, she quickly draws it back toward herself. "You're too ugly to look into it. Why would you want to?" "I am not!" I protest. "You don't really have a magic mirror." "Do to!" "It's not something that can be replicated." "I never said this one was replicated." "--and you don't see your own reflection when you look in to it. Besides, if you did have a magic mirror, you'd be too stupid to know how to use it." "Oh yeah? " she raises her arm and swings at me hard enough to knock me down. Yet I remain standing! I don't even feel any pain. Tammy gasps in utter shock, dropping the mirror to clutch at her hand. Miraculously, the mirror does not shatter, and I pick it up. Tammy does not try to stop me. I can sense her envy as she watches me carry it back to my desk. After I sit down, I stare at my reflection. My triumph over Tammy is an even greater prize than the mirror. I am invincible. The magic is inside of me. I am better than any magic pencil. I look back up and notice that Tammy is still glued to the spot where I left her. "Sit down" I command. To my amazement, she does not hesitate to obey me, crouching down on the floor. "Not on the floor!" I exclaim. "--at your desk." Other kids glance at me, startled by my outburst. I don't want to share my magic mirror with them and quickly slip it back into my desk. "We're just playing a game," I tell them. "Tammy's pretending to be my slave." "Why does this power not scare me? I should not enjoy controlling Tammy like a puppet. I decide to release my mental grip on her and closing my eyes, visualize a long bony hand crawling away from my nemesis and back into myself. Maybe now she will realize she can no longer threaten me, no longer bully me. I hope I won't have to use this power again. The mere acknowledgment of its existence should be enough. I won't use it unless necessary, I vow. Tammy better be smart enough not to provoke me! I don't want to harm anyone or scare everyone away. I don't want to be alone. I manage to make it through the school day without attempting to use this control again. Yet I can feel it building inside of me like a fist clenching and unclenching. I need to find a safe way to release it. ***** After dinner, I accompany my Father to the holodeck where he presents me with a miniature bat'leth. It is shiny, smooth, and perfectly proportioned for someone my size. I grasp the weapon, holding it awkwardly. "No, like this." Father shows me how to properly place my hands. He then retrieves his own Bat'leth. "You must become one with the bat'leth. It is a part of you; and you a part of it." Flexing my wrists, I test the feel of the weapon. "It fits you well," Father comments. "When you are older, you will graduate to a full- size bat'leth. For today, I will simply demonstrate some maneuvers to you. Computer, run bat'leth exercise program A." The grid transforms into a white room with a large grey cushion underneath us. I squish my feet in it, grateful it will break any potential fall. Father circles his bat'leth in a sequence of figure eights. He moves back and forth across the cushion in a pattern. I attempt to mimic his movements, sure I am failing miserably. "Nice try," Father humors me. "You will not go wrong with much practice." "I am willing, Father," I tell him. I can sense his pride in hearing these words. Sacrifices are sometimes worth making. "Let's try the maneuver again." We practice this exercise several times, each time my performance improving. I grow very tired and yet I continue, not wanting to ask him to stop. "You learn quickly," he says finally, lowering his bat'leth and setting it back down. I hold onto mine, not yet ready to give up its strength. I am invincible. "We may continue this tomorrow if you like. Time permitting, you will benefit from one or two lessons a week." For how long? I wonder. Does he expect me to continue my bat'leth training until I become a great warrior? I remember my brother's words about our Father. I don't know if Alexander is correct. Will my Father push me into becoming a warrior? Even more importantly, should I let him? ***** One more day until my birthday, I realize as I open my eyes the following morning. A woman steps into my room, and I am sure it is not my mother. I stifle a scream before instructing the computer to raise the lights. Once I see it is, I jump out of bed and run into her arms. "Grandma, you came for my birthday!" "Of course, I did Littlest One," she replies. "I wouldn't miss your special day for anything." "I wish I didn't have to go to school so I could spend the whole day with you." "But she does, Mother," my Mother says sternly. We turn to see her standing in the doorway. "So don't either one of you get any ideas. There will be plenty of time after school and during the weekend for you to visit." "Of course, there will be," Grandma says. "And I will come to pick you up when you're finished with your school. I want to give you your birthday present a day early" I clap my hands, more eager to spend time alone with grandma than to see my birthday present. I want to her some questions that only she can answer. If only mommy weren't here now.... ***** Tammy is not in school today. I wonder if she is sick or if she is afraid of me after what happened yesterday. I feel sick over it. I don't understand why I felt pleasure over controlling her. I was not much different from her--maybe even worse. I cannot let it happen again. I am afraid to play with the other children. What if I unleash this evil power on another one of them? Trapped by this fear, I remain at my desk during recess with my head bowed. "Shannara, are you feeling all right?" Mrs. Dewberry asks, touching me lightly on the shoulder. "No," I admit. "I don't feel like playing." "Maybe we should see if your mother can pick you up a bit early today." "My Grandma's on the ship." The teacher nods her approval. Already I feel better. Now I will have time to ask my Grandma those questions without worrying about anyone else being there. ***** "Now that we're a safe distance from the classroom," Grandma begins, "are you really sick, Shannara?" "I'm starting to feel better," I reply. I hope she doesn't ask me to explain why I wasn't feeling well--or worse, tell me I have to go back to school. "Just a little." Looking into Grandma's eyes, I can sense understanding. "Well, I don't think it'll hurt to miss a little school just this once. We can spend some time in my guest quarters until your Mother gets home and you can try on the birthday dress I got for you. What else would you like to do?" I wait until we step onto the turbolift before answering. "I have some questions I want to ask you." "Really?" She looks at me amazed. I sense that she is surprised by my choice. She probably expected me to ask to play a game. But I think having some answers right now is more important. We can play games later. "What would you like to know?" "What's it like being a full Betazoid?" "My, my, that is such a philosophical question coming from someone not quite six years old." I'm not sure what philosophical means, but I think my Grandma's telling me, in her own way, that she's proud of me. "Well, I know that you're different from Mommy. She's an empath. She senses people's feelings. What can you do Grandma?" The turbolift door opens before she can reply and we step out, walking toward her quarters. "I'm a telepath, dear. I can read other people's thoughts." "Can you make them do things--I mean things they wouldn't do on their own?" "While your mother does accuse me of trying to have too much control over people, the truth is that people ultimately do what they want. No telepath I know has that power." This is not the answer I expected. I was sure my unexpected control over Tammy had come from some newly developed Betazoid part of me. Should I tell Grandma about it? What would she do if I did? "Shannara, has your Mother told you anything about the Akodians?" Grandma asks after we are inside her quarters. "Mommy doesn't want to, but I've heard her talking with my Father about them." I plop down on her sofa and grab a pillow to clutch for comfort. "She's afraid." I bite at my lower lip as I remember some of the fear I've sensed in my Mother from time to time whenever she thinks about these unknown aliens. "Oh my! No wonder you are so confused." Grandma sits down and places a loving hand on my arm. "My dear child, the Akodians are a telepathic race much like Betazoids. Our only problem is that our interaction with them is usually quite distressing for us." "Why?" Grandma stares at me dumbfoundedly for a moment, startled by the question. "I wish I could answer that. What I do know, however, is that your mother had contact with them before you were born, and it is because of that contact that you were born with your empathic ability turned on. Most Betazoids show no signs of any type of telepathy until they are much older than you are now." I am curious about these Akodians and hope to learn more about them. Maybe they are responsible for this magical power inside of me. I wish I could give it back to them. "Grandma, do you believe in magic?" "What type of magic?" Again, I need to think about how much to tell her. "The kind used in fairy tales," I say, deciding it is a safe approach. "There are many things out in the universe that we don't understand. A lot of people perceive what they cannot explain as magic. Do I believe in magic? I believe in love and laughter and generosity. I suppose there is a bit of magic in that." "But what about someone who can control another person. Is that evil magic? "There are beings out there who have used their abilities to manipulate others. "Do the Akodians manipulate?" "Oh Heavens no!" I am confused. Why is my Mother so afraid of them, then? "I didn't mean to scare you," Grandma continues. "The Akodians have become our allies. They did not wish to bring us any harm and when they learned of their effect on Betazoids, they did every thing within their power to eliminate the problem." Awkwardly, I pick at the lace on the pillow, wishing desperately for a way to move on to a more pleasant subject. Just as I think to ask Grandma about my birthday dress, however, she speaks up again. "Shannara, what has brought all this on? Did something happen in school?" "There's this girl who likes to bully me. She makes fun of me every chance she gets, and she usually doesn't get in trouble for it. All I want is for her to leave me alone!" "What happened between you and this other girl?" "I don't know." Well, that isn't entirely true, I realize. I don't know how it happened is more like it. "Shannara. . ." Grandma is not buying it. "I didn't hurt her, honest! All I did was take her magic mirror. She was teasing me with it and saying bad things about me." "Does that make it right?" "No. . .but I was so angry! So I made her sit down and refused to give her back her mirror." "What do you mean you made her sit down?" "I don't know how--I just told her to sit down and she obeyed me." "Aha," Grandma says, a great deal of doubt in that single word. "Sounds to me like you frightened the poor child. Don't you think you should return the mirror to her?" I do not like the thought of giving up the mirror. Yet I feel so quilty about it. Why? Tammy never feels guilty about the way she treats me. In fact, I usually sense pleasure from her. "She really doesn't deserve to have the mirror back," I say. "But I will give it back to her, because it is the right thing to do." "My, are you sure you're only going to be six tomorrow?" I giggle. "I think it's time for that birthday dress," Grandma says, standing up to retrieve it from her bedroom. It is yellow with lace and a tie that wraps around my waist. I try it on and it fits perfectly. I consider that the dress is something Tammy would like, and decide I don't care. Grandma gave it to me, and I love it! "Thank you, Grandma Lwaxana," I say, hugging her waist. "Can we play a game now?" "Just as soon as you get back into your other clothes. We don't want to get your dress dirty before tomorrow." After I begin changing back into my school clothes, Grandma asks, "What would you like to play? Laughing hour?" "Laughing hour?" "You mean to tell me that your mother hasn't taught you about the Betazoid laughing hour?" "No, but I would very much like it if you would teach me." Fully dressed, I close my eyes. "Read the thought I'm sending you, Grandma." "I love you, too, dear." Grandma picks me up to hug me and lets out a hearty laugh. "That's the sound of a Betazoid laugh," she tells me. I attempt to mimic her. More than ever, I want to be full Betazoid. ***** "You had no right, Mother," my Mother is yelling at Grandma. "She should have stayed in school if she was not ill." I am sitting on the floor, helping Eric play with his connecting blocks. I try to ignore the argument and draw within myself to avoid the bombardment of emotions floating in the air. Eric has no problem managing this, tasting each of his blocks before stacking them. "The poor dear was upset," Grandma responded. "She wanted to talk with someone about a girl who has been bullying her. You're the counselor, dear. I thought you would understand the need for mental health." I can sense that Mother is further angered by this, but also hurt and humiliated. She is humiliated, because she is beginning to see Grandma's viewpoint. "Mother, at the very least, you could have paged me, so I could come down to take care of my own daughter." "There was no point. You were busy and I wasn't. I managed to get the situation under control. Shannara knows what she needs to do. Don't you Shannara?" Both of them turn toward me, and I look up at them, our eyes locking like Eric's blocks. "Yes," I say weakly. "I need to say I'm sorry and return Tammy's mirror to her." "You see," Grandma says turning back toward my Mother, "Problem solved." Yeah right, I think. ***** I am sitting at my desk with the lid raised, staring down at the mirror. I almost hope that Tammy won't be at school again today, so I can hold onto the mirror for just one more day. Especially since it is my birthday. She enters the room, and I close the lid to my desk. Maybe it can wait until recess, I decide. She does not look at me as she sits at her desk. She talks to no one. My stomach begins to rumble. Why are my emotions so mixed up right now? How can I want to get this over with as quickly as possible, while at the same time be so unwilling to give up the mirror? The teacher begins class, postponing my decision. I try to concentrate on my lessons for the day, but I find myself more intent on probing Tammy. She is afraid of me now, and although I am gentle with my mind scan, I watch as she tenses up. She folds her arms and stares at her desk. Minutes later, she is startled when the teacher asks her why she is not working with her data padd. "I-I'm sorry," Tammy stammers. "Are you still not feeling well, dear?" the teacher inquires. "I'm okay. I'll get to work." She is trying to be brave. With a tap of her finger, she activates her padd. "I'm glad to hear that, Tammy, because once we are finished with this lesson, we are going to take a break to have cupcakes in celebration of Shannara's sixth birthday." I beam at this unexpected surprise, but I do not miss Tammy's reaction. For a moment, she drops her guard and is filled with utter disgust. With just a thought, I could vanish her from this existence. I don't know how I've achieved this power, only that I am certain of it. Back off, back off, I warn myself. Just as I am retreating from the urge, I sense that Tammy is slipping back into her own cocoon. I am no longer smiling and even wish the birthday cupcakes had never been offered. However, when everyone is finished with the assignment, I accept my birthday gift from the teacher graciously. She even lets us sit on the rug to eat them. I bring the mirror with me and sit down beside Tammy. She starts to scoot away from me. "No, wait!" I say. "I want to give this back to you." I hold the mirror out to her. I sense that she does not believe me and probably thinks I'm trying to trick her. I place the mirror in her lap. "I'm sorry for what I did to you the other day. You can come to my birthday party this evening in the holodeck if you like." "Okay." She is relaxing now. Maybe she is still a little afraid of me, but willing to chance being around me. I think I'm beginning to feel good about this idea of making a peace offering. ***** Grandma Lwaxana comes to take me to the holodeck an hour before the party is to begin and promises to help me design the scenery for the games. I decide I want a long stream running through a growth of trees. Once I am satisfied with the formation of water, I begin instructing the computer on where to place the rocks by pointing at spots. "My dear," Grandma says, "I think that gives you far too much tactical advantage. "Computer, randomly assort the rocks." I laugh as I watch the rocks vanishing and reappearing in new locations. Shortly afterward, my parents arrive along with Alexander and baby Eric in tow. Mommy is carrying my cake, which I am delighted to see has the hugest purple roses I have ever seen! I run up to admire it as Mommy brings up a holographic table to set it on. I feel like Beauty as she received her rose from her father. I dance around for a time, laughing and watching my yellow dress swirl. Everything is all set for my guests to arrive. I consider skipping across the rocks to pass the time, but change my mind as I realize I could fall in and lose the game before it has even started. The holodeck door opens a while later, signaling my first guest. I rush over to greet Commander Data, who is holding a rather large package. Mommy invited some of the adults she works with to the party. I don't mind. Commander Data is lots of fun! "Can I guess what you got me?" "No," he replies. "That would spoil the surprise." My Mother walks up to us with a big smile on her face. "Thank you for coming, Data. You can set your present over on the table beside the cake." My Father walks up just as Data is walking over to the table. He places his arms around my Mother's waist. I can sense that they are happy and at peace today. The argument over how much Klingon heritage to teach me has passed. Within the next few minutes, the rest of my guests arrive. Even Tammy shows up with a present for me. "My Mom says I should--I should tell you thank you for--for inviting me," Tammy says, unable to stand still. "Okay," I respond, not sure what else to say. I address the whole group, "Let's play skip the rock!" Their response is filled with laughter and squeals as every child dashes for the water to find a suitable rock. The creak is several meters wide and the rocks scattered across its surface will provide us with questionable footholds. Who will remain standing last? "I'm rooting for you, dear," Grandma says as she dips her feet, sans shoes, into the water. I take my time in selecting a starting point as the others are insisting that I hurry up. It's my party, though, and for once, I feel both the right and the need to take my time. Finally, I see it, my stone setting away from where the others are standing. I jump onto it, almost losing my footing and the game before it has even begun. We walk from rock to rock in a snake-like fashion, one step, two steps, three. Plop, Eddie falls on his fourth rock. This sends us kids in a fit of giggles as we watch him scramble for dry land. Once he's out and Alexander has offered him a towel, we resume our game. Around and around we continue. I begin to fathom that this will go on forever when suddenly Susan screams and grabs Bradley with her flailing arms, taking him with her. "That's three down," Tammy exclaims. I sense some of her hostility toward me returning. As I glance toward my Mother, I realize she senses it, too. Yet she mouths "it's okay," to me. "Think you're going to win, Shannara?" I try to ignore Tammy, but it is difficult to hide my annoyance. I make an effort to walk in a different direction from her and end up closer to Hope. "I forgot to thank you for inviting me, Shannara," the Andorian says. "You're my best friend. You can come to all my parties forever." I notice her antennas droop slightly. "I wish that could be so, but my father is being reassigned. We will be leaving the Enterprise in two weeks." I cannot believe this! How can I lose my best friend like this? After two steps, Hope realizes I am no longer following her and says, "Hey, don't you know it's cheating to stay on one rock?" She flips around on one foot, gasps, and loses her balance. Once she is over her shock, she looks up at me. "Don't let Tammy win." Tammy and I turn to face each other, both of us glaring. More than anything, I don't want her to win. She would gloat forever! Yet I don't even look at the rocks as I move toward her. I am confident. I cannot lose. She is surprised by my quick advancement, and I begin to sense an animal-like fear in her. "No!" she screams. I raise my arms, prepared to push her into the water. I don't care that I am cheating. "Be gone!" I exclaim as my hands make contact with her chest. Tammy opens her mouth to scream as she falls off her rock. But she is cut off . I expect a shower and remain dry. Tammy has vanished. I stand there, clenching and unclenching my fists as I try to mentally cool down. I am in big trouble, bigger than I have ever been. I am always the one to get into trouble. I do not immediately hear the uproar around me, and it is not until my father grabs me firmly by the arms that I snap out of my trance. "What have you done with your friend?" he demands. "I don't know," I reply. I don't dare tell him that Tammy is no friend. I have never been more afraid than at this moment, staring up at my father's fierce unforgiving eyes. Bolting, I skip across the rocks and run along the path with no real destination other than to just get away. I glance back after several strides and am surprised that my father is not chasing after me. I slow down and search out a tree that is good for climbing. Once I find it, I hide on the highest branch that will support my weight. As my breathing begins to slow, I think about this power that is consuming me. How did I use it to make Tammy disappear? Could it also work in keeping someone here? I don't want Hope to leave! Without her, I have no one who truly understands me. "Shannara," someone says. I peer down to find Captain Riker. Why has he come for me and not my father? I am really in trouble! What if Tammy never comes back? "I think you better come with me." ***** I have never seen a conference lounge room before. I'm not even sure what the crew does inside one, but Captain Riker has now ordered me to talk with him in this room. My parents and Alexander are here along with Commanders Data and La Forge. Mommy clutches at my hand. She offers me no reassuring smile, no words of comfort; just a hand to let me know she is here for me. We are waiting for Tammy's parents to arrive. What will I say to them? "Sorry, I sent your daughter away." That would not take away their grief. It would be better to say nothing. The door opens and they step inside. I gasp in utter fright as Tammy's father approaches me and kneels down in front of me. "Please, you have to bring her back!" he begs. "I don't know how." "What do you mean? You have to!" Tammy's mother is too upset to even speak. I try to block out her anguish, but it is enormous. I try to speak, to explain that I didn't mean to dispose of their daughter, but my lips are trembling so badly that I can only mutter meaningless sounds. "Please, sit down," the captain says in an even tone. "Commander Data and Commander La Forge will explain what they believe happened to your daughter, and we will work out a rational plan to get her back. Although Tammy's parents obey the captain, they do not stop staring at me. I cannot look away from them either. I feel evil. I have done far worse to Tammy than she ever did to me. I listen to the commanders' report, though there is a great deal of what they are saying that I don't understand. "We have completed a Level One diagnostics of Holodeck Two and have found no anomalies and no signs of malfunction," Data says. "We also found no traces of a transporter device or weapon," La Forge adds. He looks at Tammy's parents. "So we can rule out kidnapping, at least by any conventional means." "Then what does that leave?" her father demanded. "The only other probability we can deduce," Data began, "Is that she was cast out of our plane or rather out of our universe." "Which could still constitute some form of kidnapping," Riker observed. The distraught father stands and pounds his fists on the table. "Is our daughter still alive?" He points an accusing finger at me. "And is *she* going to pay for what she's done?" "Please, Mr. Reeve," the captain says, trying to maintain some order. "Yes, I will," I reply. Oddly, I feel another wave of confidence at this moment. Why in my time of greatest trouble? I sense both agitation and fear from my parents and wonder why they haven't spoken. "Can you bring her back to us?" her father asks of me again. "No." "You mean you won't!" "Mr. Reeve," the captain says, raising his voice slightly. "You must consider the possibility that even if Shannara is responsible for sending your daughter somewhere else, she may not realize how she did it and more importantly how to bring Tammy back." "Is this true, Shannara?" my father asks, finally breaking his icy silence. "I ordered her to 'be gone' and in the next instant, she was. I'd take it back if I could!" I feel my confidence slipping away and tears taking its place. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Home á Power Search á Post to Usenet á Ask DN Wizard á Help Why use DN? á | á Advertising Info á | á New Features! á | á Policy Stuff Copyright ® 1996 Deja News, Inc. All rights reserved. From netcom.com!www.nntp.primenet.com!nntp.primenet.com!howland.erols.net!news.sprintlink.net!news-peer.sprintlink.net!uunet!in1.uu.net!192.220.251.22!netnews.nwnet.net!news-hub.interserv.net!news.sprynet.com!news Tue Dec 31 22:51:26 1996 Path: netcom.com!www.nntp.primenet.com!nntp.primenet.com!howland.erols.net!news.sprintlink.net!news-peer.sprintlink.net!uunet!in1.uu.net!192.220.251.22!netnews.nwnet.net!news-hub.interserv.net!news.sprynet.com!news From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Subject: New: Trip To Nowhere 115 1/2 (TNG Alternate) Date: Wed, 01 Jan 1997 03:11:35 GMT Organization: Sprynet News Service Lines: 309 Message-ID: <32d2d575.18101669@news.sprynet.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: hd07-047.compuserve.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Newsreader: Forte Agent .99g/32.339 Book One: Nowhere Plans Part One: Guardian Angel Chapter Five: IQ They tell me that I can't go to school again until they figure out how Tammy disappeared. They are afraid that another child will vanish if I am to have contact with them. I am afraid. Very afraid. Mommy has canceled all her appointments for the week and is staying with me. I'm in my bedroom. I don't want to come out. I don't want to talk with anyone; be with anyone. I might hurt them. I don't want to hurt anyone! Trying to play with my dolls, I cannot relax. At the moment, I feel as unreal as they are. If only I could escape from the disaster I have created. If only I could find a way to undo it. . . "Ask and ye wish shall be granted," a male voice startles me away from my thoughts. I turn to see a strange man in a robe. I scream. One beat, two. Why isn't Mommy rushing into my room to rescue me? "Your Mommy can't hear you," he tells me. "I've surrounded your room with a sound barrier." I don't understand why he is doing this to me. Is he my punisher? Does Mommy know that he has come here? Or can Mommy really not help me? "Wh-who are you?" I ask through heavy breaths. "Do not be frightened of me, Shannara. I have not come to harm you. Oh my child, my task here is quite irrefutably the opposite. I am your guardian angel." He's lying! If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't keep me from my Mommy! I dart behind the bed even knowing it won't protect me and clutch at my doll. "No you're not! I want my Mommy!" The man smiles at me. "I'm here to provide my services to you so you may not stray from the path I have chosen for you. I have been watching over you since the day you were born. Now it is time to cut the ties that bind you to this lowly existence. You are ready for extreme possibilities. A Magic pencil is only the tip of what I have to offer you." "Go away!" "That only works on holograms and little girls. But perhaps a change of scenery will placate you." He snaps his fingers and suddenly we are standing in a darkened meadow. "This is a quiet place I like to go," he tries to explain, but I will have none of it. I scream again and again, searching for a way back into my room. There must be a doorway somewhere. "Well, not so quiet today. There really is nothing that can harm you here, my dear child. If you would just stop . . . .and listen." I am still not certain I can trust this man, but somehow my curiosity wins, and I obey his demand. I hear nothing, see nothing. What point is he trying to make? "Where are we? Are we in another dimension?" "Score one point for you." He's playing a game with me! I realize. If this entity thinks kidnapping is fun, what will he try next? I felt so invincible when I held the same power over Tammy. Now I feel like a little nanite being programmed to perform whatever task this entity wishes. "Do you like the feel of rain?" he asks. Why is he asking such a ridiculous question? I've never felt rain. The two planet vacations I have taken provided dry, sunny weather. I assume rain is much like taking a shower. A light drizzle begins to fall. It is cold against my face, my hands. I gasp at the unexpected sensation. I've never taken a cold shower before! "Many young mortals enjoy playing in it. Imagine!" He chuckles. "Do you enjoy the rain, Shannara?" "Oh yes!" I exclaim. I try to catch some of the rain in my hands. Quite impossible, but the sensation tickles my palms. "Perhaps you would find snow even more fascinating." I shiver with excitement as the rain freezes and forms into flakes. I rub at my arms. I am too use to the climate controls of the Enterprise. Mrs. Dewberry tells us that long ago people could neither control nor predict the weather. They had to plan the way they dressed, the trips they took and even the food they ate around weather conditions. Until now, I had not realized how little of me my blouse and skirt covered. "Stick out your tongue and catch the snowflakes, Shannara." I laugh at the silliness of his suggestion as I dart my tongue between my teeth anyway. "They're melting in my mouth," I say with a giggle as I dance around with my dolly, still tasting the snow. "I can show you how to dance among the stars. . . . .to travel anywhere in the universe in a blink of an eye. You don't have to settle for this meager existence, trapped on a starship." Blinking my eyes several times to see straight, I walk toward my so-called Guardian angel. He doesn't mean me any harm, I decide. Why would he share such a pleasure with me otherwise? "My parents never let me go anywhere. They go on away missions, and they make me stay with a babysitter. You would really take me anywhere?" Why am I asking him this? Am I really considering the possibility? With a flick of his wrist, the snow disappears. "Absolutely anywhere." "They won't even let me go to school anymore," I tell him. Why am I beginning to trust him? "You should be delighted. I know how you despise school." "But a girl vanished because of me!" He clutches at his chest in mock concern. "Oh the poor dear you sent into oblivion--the one who taunted you, bullied you. Due cause was carried out; your actions were justified. And now you are feeling guilty?" "Stop it! Two wrongs don't make a right. I'm more a bully than she ever was." Admitting this does not make me feel better. It does not bring Tammy back. I deserve all the trouble I've caused back onto me. "Did your Mommy bestow such righteous morals upon you?" He leans toward me, so to whisper into her ear. "You can bring her back, you know." "How?" "I've given you that ability." "I don't want it!" I shake my head. My stomach is doing flip-flops. What if he doesn't take this power back? What if I cannot learn to control it? "Why did you let me send Tammy away? Why did you give me that power and not tell me how to use it?" "My dear child, the best discoveries come through experimentation. Besides, the little parasite was annoying you. She had it coming, and I must say, she is in the most appropriate place for one so obnoxious. We've done her a favor, you and I, by offering her a metaphorical corner to sit in and contemplate the lesson to be learned." I shake my head again. "I shouldn't be the one to punish her. She has parents. That's their job. I get into enough trouble without your help!" "Tsk. Tsk. Snap your fingers, then, and bring her back." I don't believe in this power he says I have, but raise my hand anyway and attempt to snap my fingers. A poor attempt, I am sure. Yet Instantly, we return to my bedroom. "She's back," the entity says with a silly grin. "Just like that? Is it really that simple?" He chuckles. "You are racking up the points. I knew you had it in you." "Who are you?" "Questions. Questions. My dear, sweet child, the answers you seek will come in due time." I am getting tired of his riddles. Why can't he just give me straight answers? "When you first came, you said you would grant my wish. So why do you refuse to tell me who you are?" He sits on the edge of my bed as though I've invited him. "Why waste time with trivial introductions? What you want--what I can offer you should be the focus of our concern. Do you understand?" "I think so. You want to teach me." "Oh, you do live up to my expectations. Brilliant, brilliant. Such a high IQ, and I, Q, will help bring it to a fold." "Q," I say, thinking over how absurdly simple it is for one so complex. "So that is your name." The entity pats at my bed. He wants me to sit down beside him. I'm not ready to give him that satisfaction. "Ding ding. That wins you ten bonus points. Lesson one has ended. It is time to move on to the next level. I can show you what lies beyond your wildest imagination. I can enlighten your mind with the secrets of the universe. I only ask that you sever your ties to this mundane existence." "For how long?" "For eternity, of course. I am to become your father." "I already have a father!" I bare my teeth at Q. He has gone too far! "I do not want to play this game any longer!" "Shannara, your complexities challenge the very existence of your people. You are the very thread that holds this universe together. You handle the power of the Q without guidance, you solve mind puzzles with only the simplest of hints, and yet you do not accept that I am responsible for your life." Turning away from Q, I scream, "You are not my creator!" When I decide to face him again, he has vanished. Standing in the doorway, my Mother asks, "Who are you talking to, Sunshine?" "This man came into my room," I tell her. "He just popped in and said that he was my guardian angel." I can sense that my Mommy doubts my story. "It's true! He told me I had the ability to bring Tammy back, and when I snapped my fingers, he told me she was back." "Let's sit down on your bed," Mommy says, gesturing. After we are situated, she continues. "I know you feel bad about Tammy disappearing. But making up stories will not help bring her back. Commanders Data and La Forge are still investigating the holodeck for any malfunctions. I don't see how you can be responsible." "B--but," I stammer. Before I can manage to voice my confusion, we are interrupted by the captain over the comm system. "Riker to Counselor Troi." "Troi here," Mommy says, tapping her commbadge. "I don't know how, but Tammy Reeve reappeared in the living area of her quarters not more than a few minutes ago. We cannot explain how she reappeared anymore than how she disappeared." "I brought her back," I insist. Mommy looks at me and I can sense that she is considering the possibility. "Are you with Shannara?" the captain asks. "Yes," Mommy replies. "She was telling me that a strange man helped her bring Tammy back right before you paged me." "A strange man?" "And he had a funny name, too," I tell them. "He made me answer a riddle to figure it out. Just one letter, Q!" Suddenly, I sense fear in Mommy. Does she already know Q? Why is she so afraid of him? Q had seemed friendly to me. His games were a bit annoying, but he did help me bring Tammy back. "I think both of you had better meet me and Worf in the conference room immediately. Riker out." ***** "When Q popped into your room, did he tell you why he came to see you?" Captain Riker asks of me. I squirm in the large conference chair. Glancing at my Father before answering, I look to him for the strength I cannot find in myself. My Father is mumbling words of disgust. What happened between him and Q to make my Father hate Q so? "Q told me he was my guardian angel." "Did he tell you why he considers himself your guardian angel?" I remember Q's exact words, though I'm not sure I completely understand them. "He said he wanted to provide me with his services, so I wouldn't stray from the path he has chosen for me." This sends my Father in an uproar as he pounds his fist fiercely against the table. "How do we protect her from someone who can pop up any time he feels like it?!" "You know as well as the rest of us, Worf," the Captain begins, "that while Q is always rude and obnoxious, he always plays a benevolent game." I turn toward Mommy for understanding. She squeezes my arm and whispers, "He won't cause you any harm." "Why must he play games with my daughter?!" "Maybe it's a birthday present," I offer. I sense the tension in the room lightening as everyone turns toward me. "Well, I like games, too." "Q's games are not like the games you play with other children, Sunshine." "Do you think he'll visit me again? Is that why we're here?" "From his past behavior," Riker says, "I'm afraid we can count on it. I don't want to frighten you, Shannara. Q's always liked to cause trouble, but he's never hurt anyone." "We never know for sure with Q," Mommy says. "He'll pop in a time or two and then he'll lose interest." I really don't understand their concern. Games are fun. I think I rather like the idea of this Q person popping up again. Maybe I just won't tell the adults the next time he does. The adults continue talking among themselves, working out a strategy, but with my mind made up, I get up and walk away from the table to play in the corner of the room. I stare at the starship models in Captain Riker's case and wonder what it would be like to be looking down at real starships this way. ***** Now that Tammy has returned I expect Mommy to let me return to school. Yet when I wake up the following morning, I realize it is passed time for school to start when I glance at the chronometer above my bed. I step out into the living area to find Eric in his playpen, tossing blocks around. As I climb into the pen to sit beside him, I ask, "Eric, where's Mommy?" "Block," he says, handing one to me. With a sigh, I accept the piece of wood and help Eric stack the blocks. First I place the smallest one on the pen's floor and then carefully center the next size. I am not sure why I feel the desire to stack the blocks backward, but am sure I will succeed as long as Eric does not knock them over. He watches, mesmerized, as I place one of each of the five block sizes from smallest to biggest into a tower. When I am finished, he picks up another small block and offers it to me. As I continue to form these block towers, I wonder if this is the sort of game Q would have me play. I nearly complete my third block tower when Mommy enters the room from her bedroom. She shortens the gap between us, then stops halfway. Our eyes lock. I hold my breath, the large block dropping from my hand. Have I done something wrong? I sense something close to bewilderment coming from Mommy. What is she thinking? "Shannara, I've been talking with Mrs. Dewberry," she finally says. "Do I get to go back to school?" Mommy steps up to me and eyeing my towers, replies, "she wants you to take a test." I lift my hand and with one big swing, destroy the towers. Eric begins to cry. Mommy is near tears herself. What have I done wrong now? ***** "Shannara, how are you feeling?" Mrs. Dewberry asks as we sit down at a table in one corner of the classroom. We are alone. The other children were all dismissed early. I do not understand why. Are they still afraid I might harm one of them? "I'm feeling fine," I respond. "I just want to be able to come back to school. I want to be with the other children." "I'm sure you do, and I promise you that you'll be able to very soon." I can sense that she hopes she is telling me the truth, but that she is also a bit uncertain. "Why am I here? I don't want to take a test!" "Captain Riker believes it is necessary. If you like, you can think of it as a game." I am puzzled. Why does Captain Riker care whether I take a test or not? "What kind of game?" I ask aloud. "Well, actually, I have a few different games I'd like to play with you. Let's start with a word puzzle. I will say a word and you answer with the first word that pops into your head. Would you like to try it?" I shrug. "Okay." "All right. Space." "Thoughts," I respond. Other kids might have said stars or planets, but space reminds me of the countless times I have spent looking out my viewwindow just thinking, dreaming, and wondering what it would be like if my life were different. My teacher jots this down on her data padd without comment, though I can sense she is a little confused. "Targ." I think about how Alexander feels about his pet Targ, how it offered him companionship while he spent time away from his family. Then I think about my friend Hope and how the pictures I drew of her pet helped take away some of her pain. "Comfort." "Comfort?" Mrs. Dewberry questions. "A targ is a pet," I say, fumbling with my hands. "It offers you companionship when you're alone and comfort when you're sad." She nods, satisfied and writes for a minute onto her data padd. "And what do you think of when you hear the word holodeck?" "The end." Mrs. Dewberry's puzzled look sends me stammering into further explanation. "It's wh--where worlds can be, be created and then poof--" I wave my arms wildly. "--they can disappear as though they've melted into the grid walls." "It reminds you of Tammy disappearing?" Why did she have to go and remind me about that? "I don't want to play this game anymore!" "All right." Mrs. Dewberry sets her data padd on the table. "Would you like to look at pictures on my monitor?" "Of what?" "All sorts of things. The only condition is that you must wear a hat." I watch curiously as Mrs. Dewberry walks over to a closet and removes some sort of head gear. "This device will record your brain activity while you watch a series of images. Later, Dr. Selar will examine the recording and offer her findings." "Why? Am I sick?" "No, dear, you're not sick. However, we have reason to believe that your mind is wasting away in this classroom." "My brain is rotting!" I imagine my head filled with the mush my Mother sometimes serves for breakfast. Now I know why Mommy won't let me return to school. "No, no. I'm sorry I frightened you," my teacher replies, patting me on the arm. "Your parents and Captain Riker have asked me to test you to see if you possess any special abilities." I feel so silly. Why did I jump to the wrong conclusion like that? I wonder what sort of special abilities they think I have. I know my ability to sense emotions in people is unusual for someone my age, but they wouldn't need to test me for that. "They're doing this because of Q, aren't they? He said he is my guardian angel and that he wants to take me away from this mundane existence." "Do you know what mundane means, Shannara?" I shrug. "It must mean that he thinks my world is pretty boring." I look around the room. "I can't find a reason to disagree with him. I don't want to go with him, though!" "Is it possible that you feel this way, because you don't feel challenged?" I take a moment before answering. "I think a lot about who I am and who I want to be, and I never really come up with an answer. I find that a challenge." "That's normal, Shannara. Many children of all races are confused about themselves and what they want out of life." "Yeah, I guess so. I just find school so boring." "Some kids do, but you have to learn all that boring stuff before you can move on to more interesting subjects. Engineers could not do their jobs without physics and calculus and even more basic than that without math and reading, and science. Before your mother could earn her degree in psychology, she had to learn the same things I'm teaching you now. Your grades are adequate, Shannara, but I have a feeling that you're not applying yourself to your fullest potential." Mrs. Dewberry holds the head gear up toward me. "Now what do you say you put this hat on, and I'll show you these images?" I nod my consent, and my teacher helps me get the device over my head properly. She then leads me toward her desk where she activates her monitor. "You can sit in my chair, dear." Over the next several minutes, I watch thousands and thousands of images blink across the monitor. I do not understand the significance in my watching them. Each picture is followed by another that appears to have no connection with it. I feel so stupid staring at these images like a zombie. I think about ripping the helmet off my head and yet don't. I continue to play this game, unable to resist the mesmerizing brilliance of each picture as it flashes by." Finally, Mrs. Dewberry deactivates the program and removes the head gear. Looking up at her, I ask, "Anymore games?" Just one, a counting game. I will explain the instructions to you once and only once. The game will continue until you commit your first error." "Okay." "You are to start from one thousand and counting backwards, you are to continue subtracting one more number than the time before. Do you understand well enough to even attempt it?" "Yes," I reply, unable to hide my annoyance. Why do I find this task so simple? Within seconds, I have the first several numbers inside my head. Did Q put them there? The mere idea of it brings me back to the moment he shared the snow with me. Still, I feel powerful, and an eery sense of pleasure as I begin my countdown. "1000. . .999. . . .997. . . .994. . . .990. . . .985. . . .979. . .972. . . ." ***** From netcom.com!netcom.net.uk!news-lond.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!news-stkh.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!sn.no!hermod.uio.no!ifi.uio.no!nntp.uio.no!news.radio.cz!CESspool!hammer.uoregon.edu!arclight.uoregon.edu!netnews.nwnet.net!news-hub.interserv.net!news.sprynet.com!news Mon Jan 13 08:55:27 1997 Path: netcom.com!netcom.net.uk!news-lond.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!news-stkh.gsl.net!news.gsl.net!sn.no!hermod.uio.no!ifi.uio.no!nntp.uio.no!news.radio.cz!CESspool!hammer.uoregon.edu!arclight.uoregon.edu!netnews.nwnet.net!news-hub.interserv.net!news.sprynet.com!news From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Subject: New: Trip To Nowhere 115 2/2 Date: Mon, 13 Jan 1997 04:48:34 GMT Organization: Sprynet News Service Lines: 168 Message-ID: <32daa54f.18125390@news.sprynet.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: ad55-219.compuserve.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Newsreader: Forte Agent .99g/32.339 Trip to Nowhere: 115: IQ, part 2 By Christine Wirick When Mommy comes to pick me up, she does not have my brother. I wait, sitting uncomfortably at the table, while she speaks with my teacher for several minutes. I wonder what they are saying about me. Why do grown ups keep so much from kids and then get angry at kids for keeping secrets? "Where's Eric?" I ask as she takes my hand and leads me out of the classroom. "He is with Grandma," she replies. "Can I spend the day with Grandma, too?" I know that Grandma Lwaxana will be leaving shortly and don't know when I will see her again. "Not today. It is important that we learn the results of your tests first." I do not understand why that is important. Is Mommy afraid that I may hurt Grandma, too? Why? Grandma is a powerful telepath. Why would I hurt her? "What can I do then?" I ask aloud. "I don't want to go back to our quarters! I don't want to just sit in my room!" "Shannara," Mommy says sternly, though lovingly. I can sense that she sympathizes with me, but at the same time, she is not going to give in to my wishes. "I promise to let you do something special tomorrow, okay?" Why does this promise not make me feel any better?" Tammy has returned. Why am I still being punished? I don't protest anymore, but I let Mommy know that I am unhappy by the way I walk and carry myself. Once we arrive at our quarters, Mommy replicates my lunch, which I play with more than eat. I can sense that Mommy is anxious about something as we sit at the table. Why is she so worried just because I took a test?! After Mommy takes away my plate, deciding I'm not going to finish the meal anyway, I grab my data padd and sit at the table drawing pictures. Mommy does not speak to me for the longest time. She spends the time straightening up the living area, though it is not that messy. Finally, she walks up to me and as I look up to stare into her glistening brown eyes, she asks, "May I see some of your drawings?" "Of course," I respond, handing her my padd. I always love showing people my artwork and wish more people would take an interest in it. Mommy flips through several of my recent drawings. "I had no idea you'd gotten this good. With a little guidance, you might have a real talent here." Maybe after all the suffering I had received by the taunting of the other children, mocking me for my "doodling," I could show them after all. I could show them how great an artist I will become. Is this who I am to become. An artist? I want Mommy to keep looking, to keep admiring. I want to ask her which is her favorite. What style does she like best? But before I can ask the question, the annunciator sounds interrupting me. Mommy sets my data padd back down on the table and goes to greet our unexpected visitor. She admits Commander Data into the living area, and I watch--and wonder--as they speak quietly for several minutes. Why is he here? Does it have anything to do with me? He had been involved in the investigation of Tammy's disappearance. Had they discovered something wrong with Tammy? I hold my breath. . .clench my hands together. What if I'm to be forever stuck in this punishment? There goes my hopes of becoming an artist. A dream just realized, gone. . .gone. Finally, they join me at the table. "Is there something wrong?" I ask, sensing hesitation from both of them. "Nothing's wrong, sweetheart," Mommy says. "How would you like it if Commander Data became your new teacher?" "Why? Doesn't Mrs. Dewberry do a good enough job?" "Mrs. Dewberry is a wonderful teacher, but we feel that you deserve special attention. Captain Riker asked Data if he would consider becoming your mentor, and Data agreed. If you would rather stay in Mrs. Dewberry's class, though, you may. I know how important it is to interact with other children." I think about telling Mommy that my only true friend is leaving the Enterprise. Some of the other kids are nice to me, but they probably wouldn't miss me. "Will you be my friend?" I ask the android instead. "Of course," he replies. "I believe you would benefit most if we are to develop a relationship of mutual exchange." "What Commander Data means--" Mommy begins. "I understand," I interrupt, though I am certain I probably shouldn't understand. This spooks me almost as much as Tammy's disappearance. Is Q placing these ideas inside my head? How else could I possibly know such things? "Well, when would you like to begin, then?" Data asks. "Tomorrow." I glance at Mommy, who is smiling warmly at me. Maybe this is because I am finally taking my education seriously. I think I have discovered the kind of school I will enjoy. For a while, we discuss, in general details, the subjects Data will be teaching me. I am fascinated by his idea of conducting a hands-on approach. Mrs. Dewberry, although a nice lady, never allowed me to experiment with anything more exciting than modeling clay. Data excuses himself when my father arrives. As we eat dinner, we discuss my future. I don't know why they are so worried about what I'll be doing when I'm all grown up. I'm only worried about what I'll be doing tomorrow. I'd like to work at discovering who I am now before I concern myself with who I will become years from now. Mommy excuses herself, promising to return shortly with Eric, and leaves our quarters. I decide to return to my room with my data padd. After everything that has happened, I think I can use some time alone. I am not even spared enough time to finish a single drawing when I receive a visitor. "I understand that Commander Data has offered to become your mentor," Q says popping into my room. I am surprised by his arrival, but I do not feel the same fear as I did on his first visit. I somehow know that, although he may be annoying, he doesn't wish me any harm. "Yes, and I've accepted his offer. He'll be giving me my first lesson tomorrow." Q sits down beside me on the floor. I set my data padd on the edge of my bed, not ready to share my drawings with this strange entity. "Oh Shannara, I could teach you so much more." "Why would you want to?" I really need to know why he cares so much for me. I know there are many billions of children out there. Why choose me? "Everyone tells me that all you like to do is play games and mess with people's minds." "You mean so much more to me than they do," Q says. I look into his eyes, trying to determine how truthful he is being with me. I see no trace of deception or insincerity. "I simply try to challenge their feeble minds. Come with me and I'll show you the wonders of the universe. Your mind is wasting on this starship." I cannot believe what he has just said to me! "That's exactly what Mrs. Dewberry said to me." "Indeed. If such a shallow woman can see it, then it must be true." "That's not a nice thing to say. Mrs. Dewberry has shown me more respect than you have!" "Mrs. Dewberry ran some tests on you, correct?" I decide to overlook his insult of my teacher, because I *need* to know what it is he really wants from me. "She said they wanted to know how intelligent I am." "Then would it be all right if I conducted a test of my own?" I hesitate, cautiously considering his suggestion. Mrs. Dewberry had referred to her tests as games. What sort of games did Q want to play with me this time? Then again, maybe I could take advantage of the situation if I play along, so I decide to accept his challenge. "I guess so." "Ask me three 'yes or no' questions, and I shall answer them honestly." Honestly? Really! Maybe there is honesty behind all his tricks. I just need to search for it. "Are you responsible for my being so smart?" "Yes." A direct answer. How many of those would I receive from Q? "When you gave me the power to send Tammy away, you made me smarter?" "No. Much sooner than that. No one took notice of you. Even without encouragement, the most brilliant of minds can turn to fodder. That's why I chose to step in--before it is to late for you. One more question. Make it a good one." I consider his answer to my second question. What is he saying about me? I don't know what *fodder* means. Is he stepping in to help me? Or does he want to ridicule me just like all the children at school? Make my next question a good one, he says. What does he want me to ask? Or, better yet, what does he *not* want me to ask? "My parents want Commander Data to become my mentor. They must really hate you a lot." "Do you hate me?" I sense that my opinion of him really matters to him. He wants someone to like him, anyone. I sense feelings of loneliness coming from him. Hasn't my Mommy ever sensed this? Why does she dislike him so much? "I don't know you," I answer honestly. "Do you make your judgments based on what other people believe or would you like the opportunity to decide for yourself?" "Who's the one asking questions here?" I ask. I try not to laugh, but I find this really funny. I think about his question seriously for a moment. It isn't right to judge a person before you really get to know them. After all, isn't that why Tammy hates me so much? "Okay, I'll give you a chance. Do you have any family?" He doesn't answer as promised. Instead, he stares at me almost looking dumbfounded. Maybe Q never had any family. I wonder if that's why he spends his time wandering throughout the galaxy choosing unsuspecting souls to play his games with. I have never before imagined what life would be like without a mother and a father, without a little brother. I guess if I did accept Q's offer, that would be the life I'd live. I feel bad for him and begin to understand why he desires a companion so much. "That's my third question. Answer it!" I insist, needing to know for sure. "No. I have no family." "That's really sad." I place my hand on top of his. Although I know I cannot go with him, at least I can offer him a moment of comfort. "How about another game of the utmost delight?" Q asks. "I can teach you how to travel the stars and to arrive anywhere in a mere blink of an eye." "Would you show me how to get back home afterward?" Once the question is out, I immediately regret having asked it. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I still have doubts about him. "Home, such a subjective word. Do you really consider this bucket of bolts your home?" "Home is wherever your fam--" I cannot believe what I almost said to him! I reach out to him, offering him a hug. I do hope he forgives my blunder. "Come with me," he beckons. Looking into his pleading eyes, I reconsider my options. If I went with him, I could have the adventure I've always craved. However, how much would I stand to lose? My mother, my father, my baby brother. "I'm sorry, but I already have a family." He pulls my arms off of him gently, but firmly and gets up off the floor. "You are still young, the umbilical cord barely severed. I can be patient. I can wait." "It won't make a difference." Q bends his eyes and fixes me with his steel eyes. "You'll go nowhere without me," he promises and flashes out. As I think about Q's return visit, I stare out the viewwindow and watch nowhere streaking by. Is Q correct? Am I going nowhere staying on this starship? Is it my fate to travel from place to place across a vast galaxy never actually getting to experience any real adventure? I don't know if I've made the right decision in choosing Data as my mentor over Q, but my parents obviously think I have. So for now I will see what Data has to teach me. And what adventures he will offer. To be continued. . .in a few days From ix.netcom.com!ix.netcom.com!howland.erols.net!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!europa.clark.net!news.msfc.nasa.gov!newsfeed.internetmci.com!news.interglobe.net!not-for-mail Mon Mar 3 14:18:32 1997 Path: ix.netcom.com!ix.netcom.com!howland.erols.net!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!europa.clark.net!news.msfc.nasa.gov!newsfeed.internetmci.com!news.interglobe.net!not-for-mail From: lalsoong@sprynet.com (Christine Wirick ) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Subject: New: Trip To Nowhere 116: Data Analysis Date: Thu, 27 Feb 1997 03:17:13 GMT Organization: interGlobe Networks, Inc. Seattle, WA. USA Lines: 310 Message-ID: <331dfc29.52132351@wisdom.connectsoft.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: dd69-072.compuserve.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Newsreader: Forte Agent .99g/32.339 Book One: Nowhere Plans Part One: Guardian Angel Chapter Six: Data Analysis I expected my private tutor sessions with Commander Data to be different than learning in a classroom. I was not wrong. After several weeks, I am growing accustomed to his teaching style. It is vastly different. Intriguing. Exciting. Could Q have offered me more? While Data covers some of the same basics as Mrs. Dewberry, he also has a new and interesting activity for me every week. So far, he has been teaching me how to play the violin, act out one of his favorite Sherlock Holmes adventures, and how to paint. Painting is my favorite activity, and I beg him to let me create a new picture each week. I give the pictures away as gifts. My parents now have three; Data has two; and Captain Riker and Mrs. Dewberry each have one. I wonder who I will give the next painting to. Even as I am settling into my little school and developing a friendship with the android, I still think about Q from time to time and wonder how my life would have been if I'd followed his guidance instead. I know Q will return one day. He did not strike me as someone who would ever give up. He will try to convince me to go with him again. And that scares me. One day, Data comes to pick me up for our morning session a bit early. I am still eating breakfast, so he sits down beside me and across from Eric. He has never arrived before I am ready, and I am puzzled by this sudden change. "Why are you here already?" I ask. Suddenly, I fear he has come to tell me that he must cancel today's session. Back when we first began, he warned me that an emergency might arise from time to time that would take him away from his duties to me. After all, his first duty is still to his captain and the ship. "There isn't an emergency, is there?" "There are no anomalies or emergencies otherwise that require my attention. " I giggle. I love listening to Data spouting out such long words. I try to pick up the meaning of as many as I can. 'Anomaly' is a word I've heard enough times over the past several weeks. " I am free to do as I please beyond my normal obligations. As customary for this hour, I am off duty. I decided to arrive early, so we may discuss your course of study." "Want some?" Eric asks, holding his spoon out toward Data. I scowl at the distraction, but Data politely turns toward my brother and smiles. Eric smiles back, revealing partially-chewed food. He is wearing most of the rest. I am so embarrassed by my brother! "I don't think Eric will ever require your mentoring," I say. "Why do you say that?" Data asks. "Well, Q chose me." I dropped a photon torpedo on that one! My Mother is only meters away and has heard what I said. "What is that supposed to mean?" she demands. I lower my head. What exactly did I mean? That I think Q is better? I really don't believe that, but how do I convince them of that and prevent Data from walking out on our arrangement? If he did, I would certainly deserve it right now. "I'm waiting for an answer, young lady!" "I'm sorry," I say feebly, near tears. "It's just--" "You're jealous," Mommy says, and I know she is sensing this from me. I look at her and then at Eric. I had not even realized that I feel this way. Why do I find it so easy to sense feelings in others, and befuddle my own? Am I really worried that Eric will one day have a place in our little school? I am in trouble again, and I didn't even see it coming. Why am I always the one getting into trouble? Mommy walks over to the table and sits across from Commander Data. "It is normal to have these feelings, Shannara," she says to my great surprise. "The important thing to remember, though, is that you *never* act on them. Your brother is too young to understand what is happening here, but you on the other hand, owe an apology to Commander Data, not me." She stands back up and reaches for my brother. "Now I'm going to take Eric and get him cleaned up so you and Data can talk privately. . . .rationally," she warns. I watch my Mother and Eric disappear into the bathroom before speaking. "Do you still want to be my teacher?" I ask Data, afraid that my little tantrum has ruined my credibility. I sense a little fear in him, too. Has he really come to cherish our arrangement as much as I have? "I will gladly remain your teacher, Shannara," he replies, "but I do hope there will be no further outbursts." "I promise." I lower my eyes. "I'm sorry." I am delighted to have a second chance. Yet right now I feel like I have the IQ of a Cardassian vole. What did Q see in me anyway? And why is Data so willing to stand by me? "Data do you really like me?" Slowly, I raise my gaze to meet his eyes. "Now we must broach the subject of how we will proceed with your education. Thus far, I have taught you a wide variety of arts and some basic math and English skills. I feel you are now ready to move on to more advanced math and the sciences." "Does that mean I can't paint anymore pictures?" "No, it does not. Everyone needs some leisure activities and we will allot time for play every week. However, if I am to appropriately mentor you, I must challenge you in all academic areas. While I was on duty during the Alpha shift, I created a subprogram to organize your future studies. When you successfully complete every assignment I have planned for you, you will be awarded with a tour of engineering." "Really! But I thought children weren't allowed in engineering." "Normally, they are not. However, I have spoken with both Captain Riker and Commander La Forge, and they have agreed to make a special exception in your case. It will be a great learning experience for you." "If it's such a great learning experience, then why aren't other children given a tour?" "That is a good question. It is counter productive to have a large number of children roaming around engineering. It would also be potentially dangerous." I silently vow to prove my worthiness to Data. For the next couple of weeks, Data begins teaching me about technologies. I learn how to operate a tricorder and Data lets me use it to test several samples. He tells me I cannot fall behind on my English, and so I must write up a paragraph on each item I scan. He teaches me how to use the computer and grants me low-level clearance. He tells me that the entire ship's computer system operates on multiple levels of clearance, so only those in command can get at the really top secret stuff. I wonder if the computer knows anything about Q. Would it allow me to access that information? How would I go about asking the computer to grant me higher clearance? "We're going to have dinner in Ten-Forward today, kids, " Mommy tells Eric and I one day. We very rarely eat outside of our quarters, but my father is on an important mission on the planet below and I can sense how frightened Mommy is for him. "Alexander will be joining us." "Yay!" I exclaim, clapping my hands. "Change into something clean, Shannara." I dash into my room. Even though Alexander has been on the Enterprise for a few months now, I do not see very much of him. Mommy says it is because he is so much older and becoming more interested in grown up things. I am glad, at least, for the chance to venture outside our quarters. I have been stuck here for the past two days. I have not had school, though Data gave me a couple of items to analyze and write up reports. Commander Data is planetside as well. I wonder what he and my Father are doing down there and wish I could join them. It's top secret, though. High-level clearance. Only important commanders are allowed to know the details. So here I am stuck on a ship going nowhere. Maybe Q was right. I am going nowhere without him. For all Data has taught me, I am still confined to this ship. If I were with Q, there would be no secrets. There would be no metal walls holding me prisoner. But there would also be no Mommy, no Daddy. I think I would even miss Eric. We arrive in Ten-Forward ahead of Alexander. Mommy ushers the waiter to provide a child seat for Eric. He returns with the seat and a basket full of breads and crackers. After taking our drink orders, the waiter departs again. As we wait for our drinks, I glance around the room, spotting Tammy with her parents. I wish I were invisible! Sliding down in my chair, I try to avoid detection. But I am too late! I can sense Tammy's animal-like fear as she looks in my direction. She probably doesn't realize I am equally afraid. And I am humiliated. "I'm hungry!" Eric insists loudly. "Sit up straight, Shannara," Mommy orders. "You should show proper manners when you are in public." I almost protest, but when I look at Mommy, I can tell that she has not even notices the Reeves. Maybe if I just pretend that everything is okay, everything will be. Watch what you wish for, I chide myself. I don't want anymore disappearing acts! And I certainly don't want to spend anymore time alone in my room. My attention is quickly diverted away from Tammy when Alexander enters the room. My eyes widen; my mouth falls open. I love my big brother, true, and I enjoy the time I spend with him. But I don't get goggle-eyed just over a dinner with him. No. I am stunned by the girl on Alexander's arm. Who is she? More importantly, why do I sense my mother growing tense over her arrival? "I don't believe it!" my mother mutters under her breath. Eric begins to advertise his hungry state a little louder. Without looking away from Alexander and his companion, Mommy reaches for a cracker and hands it to Eric. "We wanted to tell you sooner," Alexander says apologetically as he and the girl approach us. She is a pretty black Terran girl about the same age as Alexander. I find myself wishing I were as beautiful as she is and try to convince myself that beauty comes from within, not from without. She smiles sweetly at me, but I can sense her fears. She expects to be met with disapproval. I don't understand why she fears I will not like her. Moreover, why am I sensing that my my Mommy does not like her? "Sit down," Mommy says as calmly as she can manage. Alexander and his date comply, with him sitting next to Mommy and the girl next to me. I glance back and forth from them. I feel sorry for Alexander. Yet at the same time, I'm glad to have the attention off me. "We didn't plan for anything to happen," Alexander further explains. "I wasn't even aware that Rosa was still on board the Enterprise until after I returned." "Do you realize how difficult it is to resume a relationship after a long separation?" Silence. Long silence. I try to sort out the mixture of emotions surrounding me. . .my mother glaring; Alexander fidgeting; Rosa outwardly calm, yet inside an asteroid storm of emotions. Tammy is staring phasers at me. "That's exactly why I tried to ignore him at first," Rosa finally says, glancing at my brother before ducking her eyes back toward the table. She is afraid of my mother. Well, maybe not afraid exactly. I really don't understand this emotion I am picking up from her! "We both tried to ignore each other actually, but--" "I understand how close you were once." Why is Mommy near tears? "What happened back then should have torn us all apart. Worf and I--" She turns toward Alexander. "Your Father and I, thankfully, were able to pull through the tragedy." "What tragedy?" I ask softly. Glancing quickly at Tammy, I wonder if this mysterious tragedy could be any worse than what I did to her. Mommy turns to me and pats my hand. I can sense her reluctance to tell me. "Don't be frightened, Shannara. Everything is okay." She looks back toward Alexander and says sternly, "Relationships do not work after long separations." They don't! Suddenly, I miss my Father more than ever before. "Mommy, how long has Daddy been on the planet?" All heads turn toward me, even Eric's as he tries to offer me one of his crackers. I shake me head at him, but his slobbery cracker makes its way to my lips anyway. I slap at the cracker, sending it sliding across the table. Expecting that I am now in trouble, I utter a sincere, "I'm sorry." "I like you as a person, Rosa." "But?" the girl questions. "I simply think you're making a mistake. Don't make me spell this out for you." The waiter approaches us and Mommy waves him away. "I've lost my appetite. You can stay if you want, but I'll just replicate something for the kids in my quarters." She quickly snatches up Eric, and expecting that I will follow, says, "Come on, Shannara," and hastily walks toward the exit. I glance back at them, wishing I had the ability to send my apologies telepathically. I don't know how I caused this trouble, and don't know how to undo it. And Tammy continues to stare phasers at me as my Mother escorts me out of Ten-Forward. *** As she replicates our meals, I ask Mommy question after question. Why doesn't she like Rosa? Why is she so angry? Why did Alexander bring Rosa to dinner? Is Rosa Alexander's girlfriend? But Mommy barely acknowledges that I am speaking to her. She is almost dazed by whatever has passed between her and this Rosa. She wanders aimlessly around our quarters, straightening up every little crease or ruffle as if she is expecting an inspection from a superior officer. After we finish our meal, she places the dishes back into the replicator and prepares Eric for bed. I busy myself by drawing on my data padd, deciding I should stay out of Mommy's way while she is so upset. When she steps out of my brother's room, she instructs the computer to dim the lights by fifty percent. "Are you mad at me, Mommy?" Finally, she collapses on the sofa, and covering her face in her hands, begins to sob. I sit on the corner cushion right next to her and place my hand gently on her arm. "No, sweetheart, I'm not mad at you." She pauses, and I can feel her almost sighing internally. "There was a time when we thought you were going to leave us." "Why would I leave you? Did you think I would really go anywhere with Q?" *Nowhere* a voice inside my head echos. I feel my throat tightening, and I swallow hard. I don't understand why Mommy won't just come out and tell me what has her so frazzled! And what does my almost leaving have to do with Alexander and Rosa? "No, Shannara." Mommy grasps my hand, intertwining her fingers with mine. "When you were about Eric's age, you became very sick, and if it weren't for a very dear friend of mine--" "I got better, Mommy. I'm here." She reaches out and hugs me fiercely. I imagine that she is gripping me tightly out of fear. I wonder about my father, away on his mission. Will he return? When will he return? Relationships can't work after a long separation, Mommy says. What would happen to me if Mommy and Daddy were no longer together? "I am so grateful for that every day." After a long moment, she pulls away from me. "I think it's about your bedtime." "But I'm not tired." "Get into your pajamas and I'll come to say goodnight to you in a minute." "Can we page my Father first?" My Mother offers a resigned sigh. "I tell you what, while you're getting into your pajamas, I'll see if I can't contact your Father." I smile broadly. If Mommy and Daddy are at least talking to each other, then I can hope. Can't I? As I hastily change out of my day clothes, I listen intently for the sounds of my parents talking. "How much longer?" I hear my Mother asking in a trembling tone. What exactly is my Father telling her? That he will be gone for a long time yet? I can't bare the thought of it! I step back out and sit on my Mother's lap, so I can peer closely at my Father on the small screen. "Hello Father," I greet him. "We all miss you." "And I miss you as well," he replies with a frown. "You must be a big girl for your Mother and accept that my duties will sometimes take me away from you." "Yes, but for how long?" "I do not know." I sense that my Father is greatly trying to hide his annoyance with my nagging questions. I can't help it if I have to know. We have to remain a family! "Shannara," Mother says, pulling me away from her chest, "say goodnight to your Father now. You can talk to him again in a day or two." A day or two? Will that stretch into several days of commlink communication? Will I ever be able to hug my Father or sit on his lap again? "Goodnight, Father," I offer reluctantly. "Pleasant dreams, Shannara," he offers with a nod. I slip off my Mother's lap and as I reach my door to go to bed, I hear her say "I love you, too, Darling." But relationships cannot survive long separations. . . . Deciding I have to do something about bringing my Father back home, I wait until I am sure my Mother is asleep before slipping back into my clothes. Quietly, I sneak past her room and out of our quarters. Data has taught me so much about the way the ship runs and how it is laid out. So with confidence, I embark on my own mission. Stepping inside the nearest turbolift, I say, "Computer, take me to the transporter room." Please specify transporter room one through six. "Number one, then." As the door opens up to the transporter room, a moment later, I notice an officer standing duty. "Close turbolift door," I say barely above a whisper. What was I thinking? How can I use the transporter without him seeing me? If only Q were here. . .He'd probably click his fingers and send me instantly down to the planet. Think, think, Shannara, I command myself. Please specify current instructions, the computer drones. "Computer, monitor all transporter rooms. Tell me if any of them are unmanned." Officer in Transporter Room Five is distracted by Ensign Galligher. What does my Father call that? I ask myself, thinking. . . . Insubordination. I've heard him grumbling about it enough times. I smile. Right now, I call it pure luck. "Computer take me to Transporter Room Five." Once inside the transporter room, I ask the computer for the away team's coordinates. I then set my own coordinates for a short distance from them. Commander Data should be very proud of me. I have listened to his lessons well. After programming a slight delay, I step onto the transporter pad, and in the next moment, I beam down to the planet. "My, my resourceful, aren't we?" I turn around to see my professed guardian angel sitting on a large rock. Q is wearing a red Starfleet uniform, with four pips on his collar I note. "Just had to come down to rescue Daddy, did we?"