From pro-freedom!pip@clark.edu Mon Oct 19 12:15:01 1992 Status: RO X-VM-v5-Data: ([nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil nil] ["9750" "Mon" "19" "October" "92" "09:20:46" "PDT" "David Pipgras" "pip@pro-freedom.cts.com " nil "230" "Q Parody" "^From:" nil nil "10"]) Return-Path: Received: from clark.edu by depot.cis.ksu.edu SMTP (5.65a) id AA16713; Mon, 19 Oct 92 12:14:58 -0500 Received: by clark.edu (Smail3.1.28.1 #1) id m0mh0ZL-0000YSC; Mon, 19 Oct 92 10:07 PDT Received: by pro-freedom.cts.com (sendmail 2.3 24mar92) id ; Mon, 19 Oct 92 09:56 PDT Message-Id: X-Mailer: Mail (1.7 20feb92) From: pip@pro-freedom.cts.com (David Pipgras) To: jfy@cis.ksu.edu Subject: Q Parody Date: Mon, 19 Oct 92 09:20:46 PDT Hi! This was passed onto me, so please credit the sender: --------------------- >From clark!uunet.UU.NET!nosc!catt.ncsu.edu!happy Mon Oct 19 02:57:49 1992 Received: by pro-freedom.cts.com (sendmail 2.3 24mar92) id ; Mon, 19 Oct 92 02:57 PDT Received: from m2xenix.psg.com by clark.edu with smtp (Smail3.1.28.1 #1) id m0mgszW-0000YOC; Mon, 19 Oct 92 02:01 PDT Received: by m2xenix.psg.com (/\==/\ Smail3.1.25.1 #25.3) id ; Mon, 19 Oct 92 02:01 PDT Received: from uunet.uu.net (via LOCALHOST.UU.NET) by relay2.UU.NET with SMTP (5.61/UUNET-internet-primary) id AA03162; Mon, 19 Oct 92 05:01:25 -0400 Received: from pages.UUCP by uunet.uu.net with UUCP/RMAIL (queueing-rmail) id 050016.13501; Mon, 19 Oct 1992 05:00:16 EDT Received: by pages.com (NeXT-1.0 (From Sendmail 5.52)/NeXT-1.0) id AA13023; Sun, 18 Oct 92 21:17:59 PDT Received: from garfield.catt.ncsu.edu by trout.nosc.mil (5.59/1.27) id AA15963; Sun, 18 Oct 92 12:01:38 PDT Received: by garfield (5.57/SAM-SRS 04-23-91 00:53:48) id AA24942; Sun, 18 Oct 92 15:01:35 -0400 Message-Id: <9210181901.AA24942@garfield> Ppath: pro-freedom!pip Date: Sun, 18 Oct 92 15:01:35 -0400 From: happy@catt.ncsu.edu (Rusty Soots) To: pip@pro-freedom.cts.com Subject: Re: Looking for "Q" Christmas Parody Posted-Date: Sun, 18 Oct 92 15:01:35 -0400 Newsgroups: rec.arts.startrek.misc In-Reply-To: <1992Oct17.192459.2862@pro-freedom.cts.com> Organization: Computer and Technologies Theme Program, NCSU, Raleigh Cc: In article <1992Oct17.192459.2862@pro-freedom.cts.com> you write: >I am looking for the Pardoy of "A Night Before Christmas" with Q and the >TNG Crew... Please e-mail.... > >Dave. >============================================================== 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the ship Not a circuit was buzzing, not one microchip; The phasers were hung in the arm'ry securely, In hope that no aliens would get up that early. The crewmen were nestled all snug in their bunks (Except for the few who were partying drunks); And Picard in his nightshirt and Bev in her lace, Had just settled down for a neat face-to-face... When out in the halls there arose such a racket, That we leapt from our beds, pulling on pants and jacket. Away to the lifts we all shot like a gun, Leapt into the cars and yelled loudly, "Deck One!". The bridge Red-Alert lights, which flashed through the din, Gave a luster of Hades to objects within. When, what, on the viewscreen, should our eyes behold, But a weird kind of sleigh, and some geek who looked old. But the glint in his eyes was so strange and askew, That we knew in a moment it had to be Q. His sleigh grew much larger as closer he came. Then he zapped on the bridge and addressed us by name; "It's Riker! It's Data! It's Worf and Jean-Luc! It's Geordi! And Wesley, the genetic fluke! To the top of the bridge, to the top of the hall! Now float away, float away, float away all! As leaves in autum are whisked off the street, So the floor of the bridge came away from our feet, And up to the ceiling our bodies they flew, As the captian called out, "What the hell is this Q?!". The prankster just laughed and expanded his grin, And, snapping his fingers, he vanished again. As we took in our plight and were looking around, The spell was removed, and we crashed to the ground. Then Q, dressed in fur from his head to his toe, Appeared once again to continue the show. "That's enough!" cried the captian, "You'll stop this at once!", And Riker said, "Worf! Take your aim at this dunce!", "I'm deeply offended, Jean-Luc," replied Q. "I just wanted to spend Christmas with you." As we scoffed at his words, he produced a large sack. He dumped out the contents, and took a step back. "I've brought gifts," he said, "just to show I'm sincere. There's something delightful for everyone here." He sat on the floor and dug into the pile, And handed out gifts with his most charming smile. "For Counselor Troi, there's no need to explain, Here's Tylenol-Beta for all of your pain. For Worf I've got mints as his breath's not too great, And for Geordi LaForge, an inflatable date. For Wesley, some hormones, and Clearasil-Plus; For Data, a joke book; for Riker, a truss. For Beverly Crusher, there's sleek lingerie, And for Jean-Luc, the thrill of seeing her that way." Then he sprang to his feet with that grin on his face, And, clapping his hands, disappeared into space. But we heard him exclaim as he dwindled from sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!!" -- Russell J. Soots -- North Carolina State University -- SED + SMB + minor in GN -----VERSION #2------- >From clark!uunet.UU.NET!nosc!trout.nosc.mil!ryptyde!trekkie Mon Oct 19 02:57:54 1992 Received: by pro-freedom.cts.com (sendmail 2.3 24mar92) id ; Mon, 19 Oct 92 02:57 PDT Received: from m2xenix.psg.com by clark.edu with smtp (Smail3.1.28.1 #1) id m0mgszW-0000YPC; Mon, 19 Oct 92 02:01 PDT Received: by m2xenix.psg.com (/\==/\ Smail3.1.25.1 #25.3) id ; Mon, 19 Oct 92 02:01 PDT Received: from uunet.uu.net (via LOCALHOST.UU.NET) by relay2.UU.NET with SMTP (5.61/UUNET-internet-primary) id AA03170; Mon, 19 Oct 92 05:01:26 -0400 Received: from pages.UUCP by uunet.uu.net with UUCP/RMAIL (queueing-rmail) id 050015.13491; Mon, 19 Oct 1992 05:00:15 EDT Received: by pages.com (NeXT-1.0 (From Sendmail 5.52)/NeXT-1.0) id AA13003; Sun, 18 Oct 92 21:17:54 PDT Received: by trout.nosc.mil (5.59/1.27) id AA14534; Sun, 18 Oct 92 11:33:37 PDT Received: by ryptyde.cts.com (Smail3.1.21.1 #21) id ; Sun, 18 Oct 92 11:34 PDT Message-Id: Ppath: pro-freedom!pip Date: Sun, 18 Oct 92 11:31:43 PDT From: trekkie@netlink.cts.com (Bryce Newall) To: pip@pro-freedom.cts.com (David Pipgras) Subject: Re: Looking for "Q" Christmas Parody In-Reply-To: <1992Oct17.192459.2862@pro-freedom.cts.com> Organization: NetLink Online Communications, San Diego CA pip@pro-freedom.cts.com (David Pipgras) writes: > I am looking for the Pardoy of "A Night Before Christmas" with Q and the > TNG Crew... Please e-mail.... > OK, in the last message, I promised you a second version of this parody. Well, here goes: Begin #2 --------------------------------- 'Twas the night before Christmas on the Enterprise-D, On a routine short hop to Starbase 303, With Data on duty in the captain's chair, In hopes that the Enterprise soon would be there. Just for something to do while the other crew slept, He scanned where historical records were kept -- And with a blink of his eye and a cock of his head, "Intriguing! Tomorrow is Christmas!" he said. But no one was stirring, and he sought to find why, And so he buzzed Geordi, who woke with a sigh: "Christmas? It's only an old holiday -- Now just let me get back to sleep, okay?" But is to wish Merry Christmas not human to do? And so Data wished it -- to the whole ship too. Everyone on the Enterprise woke from this clatter -- Picard rushed to the bridge to see what was the matter. "What is the meaning of this noise, Mister Data?" "Sir, is it not Christmas--?" "We'll discuss it later!" Just then Worf said, "Captain -- a Klingon prey bird! Its hull has been damaged -- it's uncloaking, sir." "On screen," said Picard, as the Klingon ship hailed: "Federation vessel, our life support has failed! A strange ship attacked us, inflicting the worst (though naturally, of course, we had fired on it first)." The Klingons beamed over and the senior staff met To try and determine the source of the threat. Said Picard, "Mister Data, an assignment for you: Give all of these Klingons something to do! They think it's the Romulans we should look for -- Get them all off the bridge, before they start a war!" So Data departed, while the rest of the crew Wondered: Romulans? Ferengi? If not them, then who? Said Worf, "Sir -- disturbance on Holodeck Three!" The entire bridge crew ran down there to see. Roared Picard, "Mister Data, what the devil is this!!" "Sir, I have taught the Klingons how to celebrate Christmas." And so there they were -- on holodecks 3, 4 and 5 -- With synthohol, singing and rokeg blood pie! Soon the Big E was rocking with holiday cheer -- Friend and foe came from sectors both far and near. The Romulans showed up with some Romulan ale, The Ferengi brought goodies for free -- not for sale! But a strange ship was coming, the captain was told, With one crew member only, and a huge cargo hold. Said the Klingons, "It's the strange ship that fought us -- attack!" Said Picard, "On Christmas? -- Mister Worf, hold back." And then as they watched the ship come into view, Onscreen came its captain -- none other than Q! He wore a white beard and a suit of red... "Joyeux Noel, mon captain," was what Santa Q said. "Tell those Klingons next time to not go so berserk. You know, you need good defense systems in this line of work. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be warping away... Who else did you think could do this job all in one day?" "I'm sensing emotion," said Counselor Troi, "Peace in the galaxy, good will and joy." And they stood on the bridge and watched Q take flight, shouting, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!" End #2 ------------------------------ That's all there is, there ain't no more, unless I meet -- thank you, I needed that. I hope this is what you were looking for! :) -- Trekkie -- INTERNET: trekkie@netlink.cts.com (Bryce Newall) UUCP: ...!ryptyde!netlink!trekkie NetLink Online Communications * Public Access in San Diego, CA (619) 453-1115