Date sent: Fri, 11 Jul 1997 18:47:24 -0400 (EDT) From: Clarise451@aol.com Subject: Matchmaker(1/1) Title-Mathchmaker Author-Emily Horner E-mail address-Clarise451@aol.com Rating-PG Category: Crossover( St:Tng) Spoilers: "3", "Irresistible" Keywords: none Summary: the fate of the Universe depends on the relationship between Mulder and Scully. Q and a pandimensional being try to save posterity. Disclaimer: Characters of Mulder and Scully copyright of Ten-Thirteen productions. Character of Q copyright of Paramount. And all that other stuff that's in a disclaimer. Lyrics to "The Promise" by When in Rome. This story takes place(and was written) during the hiatus before fourth season. Matchmaker Okay, time for the shift. He'd need a caffeine charge first. The flight from Vancouver to Washington had taken its toll both on him and his wallet, especially in this unnatural state he had to keep up not to violate the laws of this universe and dimension. McDonald's coffee tasted, well, like McDonald's coffee, but he didn't really care. Relax, concentrate, one, two, three, GO! Scully was just hungry enough not to care that the best thing they had was a garden salad with thousand-islands dressing. They didn't even have Italian! Was that guy staring at her or was she just being paranoid? No, he was definitely staring. Had he been there a few seconds before? Well, he couldn't have just appeared out of thin air. The guy was short, young, clutching a briefcase close to his side and every so often looking down at one of those trade paperbacks that was too big to cost less than fourteen or fifteen dollars but with a publishing house too cheap to put it out in hardcover. She couldn't see the title, but it looked either enthralling or important. She ordered the salad and sat down outside. The air conditioning was turned up way too high in the restaurant, and she didn't like the way the guy was staring at her. Oh no, now she definitely wasn't just being paranoid. He'd come outside and sat down next to her. "Miss Scully?" "What? How do you know my name? Have we met?" "We've never met, no, but I have to talk to you and your partner Mulder." "About what?" "The future of the universes," he said gravely, and for the first time Scully saw the book's front cover, and gasped. "That's me and Mulder! I mean, Mulder and me," she corrected herself. "The Official X-Files Companion. Who are you?" "I," he said imperiously, "am a transdimensional being. But you can just call me Kevin. After the writer, you know." "What writer?" "Kevin J. Anderson. See?" He pulled a hardcover-"Ground Zero"-out of his briefcase. "It's not Tolstoy, but it's a good story." Scully scanned the pages. She and Mulder were on the cover of this one too, and not surprisingly, she recognized the plot. "Maybe you should call your partner. I don't mean to underestimate your intelligence, after all you did do a major in physics, but he's involved too and I don't want to explain everything twice." "Mulder," he answered her call. "It's me. Listen," she whispered, "I'm being followed by some wacko who claims to be a transdimensional being named Kevin, and he says he wants to talk to us about something important. And he knows all this stuff about me, and there are these books with you and me on the cover." "You know, I wouldn't believe you if I didn't know you couldn't possibly make something like this up." "Mulder!" "Well, it's true." "I'm at the McDonald's right near the capitol-you know which one I mean?" "Yeah. Okay, I'm coming." He arrived quickly, considering the Saturday-afternoon tourist traffic. "Oh, you're finally here," Kevin said to him. "How did you know I was Mulder?" "I'll explain everything, I promise. Okay, you can think of the multiverse in many different ways, of course, but there's only one right way." "Multiverse?" Mulder asked. "All the universes there are, and all the dimensions, all combined. Anyway, the only right way to think of the universe is as an immense piece of graph paper. You see, the dimensions are the vertical lines and each alternate universe is a horizontal line. Now, each second, every universe splits off into a million, depending on the movement of atoms, which as we know is random. So there are many, many, many alternate universes. Each dimension depends on what is fiction and what is not. There is a dimension in which you and Scully and your families and the X-Files are all fictional-popular, emmy-nominated television that many people obsess over." "Did we ever win?" Mulder asked again. "Well, Gillian-she plays Scully-won a Screen Actors Guild award for acting, and there's an awful lot of visual-effects awards, but David-he plays you-was never even nominated. Too much competition, I suppose. Now if you would just stop inter-" "I refuse to believe that our lives are being decided by writers and television producers," Scully said. "Oh, they're NOT. You don't understand at all. Your lives and the producers sort of decide each other. Like a compromise. Usually the writers write what you would normally do, and usually you want to act the way the writers decide you act. But a lot of things, like when your relatives die and things like that, are almost completely decided by the writers." "Okay, what's your point?" "A transdimensional mathematician and philosopher has determined that exactly two-thirds of the realities-on the graph paper, where a horizontal line meets a vertical one-have some fundamental flaw. And if these flaws aren't corrected within, oh, six billion years, the multiverse will implode and everything, including the transdimensional beings, will be destroyed. Me and five other beings like myself are on a mission to correct these flaws-all the while knowing that this is all just a TV show for some higher-up being." "And the flaw in this reality has something to do with us?" "The flaw has everything to do with you. The creator of the series, Chris Carter, has determined, rather narrow-mindedly if you ask me, that, um, well, read this fanfiction I downloaded. This is what he said would never happen." Scully read a few sentences-it was pretty badly written-and skimmed over the rest, then handed the twelve stapled pages to Mulder, who read the whole thing. "And the main problem with this reality, the fundamental flaw, is that this will never happen." "Are you suggesting that Mulder and I should-?" "Just one date. Believe me, it's destiny. When has Chris Carter done anything good for your lives? Look at how many of your relatives he's killed. Think about how many times you've nearly died. Something has to happen soon. Mulder, Chris Carter is actually thinking of getting you a girlfriend for next season." "Well..." "If the fate of the multiverse is at stake..." "How do we know you're really a transdimensional being?" Scully asked. "Can I have your soda?" Kevin took a huge gulp of it, disappeared, and reappeared about forty seconds later. "Well, can you do that?" "I guess one date couldn't hurt." Famous last words. So Mulder picked Scully up at seven. They drove around DC looking for a decent restaurant that wasn't really crowded and didn't need reservations. Finally they decided on Applebee's, out of default. They ordered hambugrers, and for a long time there was a very uncomfortable silence between them. Finally Mulder decided to break the silence. "Umm...your elbow's in the ketchup." "Oh yuck," Scully answered. She wiped it off, and there was still a red stain but now it was slightly muted. She hoped that it would come out. "So." "So." "What movie do you want to see?" "Maybe 'Phenomenon.' Or 'Emma.'" "'Phenomenon' sounds good." "Today was...weird, wasn't it?" "Yeah. That kind of stuff just doesn't happen to us." "It doesn't happen to anybody." "You believed him more than I would have expected you to." "Well, when anything is that weird, it must be the truth. There really wasn't any better explanation. It's such a cliche-six young people on a quest to save the universe." "Yeah. You'd think transdimensional beings would have better taste in television. Hey, I just thought of something." "What?" "Well, if you were a television producer, and one of the main characters was obsessed over his sister being abducted, would you end the show without some resolution of that?" "Considering what Chris Carter has supposedly done to our families...sure there'll be resolution. But what kind of resolution?" "Well..." "No. That wouldn't happen. Then the point of the show would be that there is no point. Not exactly a viewpoint that gets high ratings." "I hope so." "Mulder," Scully suddenly interrupted, "is it just me or are those people watching us?" Mulder looked out the window. There was a crowd of maybe thirty people in the parking lot with binoculars staring at them. "Yeah, they are," answered Mulder. "I'm going to see what's going on." Scully walked outside with an annoyed and angry expression, and Mulder could see the shocked and disappointed faces of the crowd. "Why are you watching us?" Scully snapped at one of them, a youngish man with dark hair and a superior expression. "Watching you? Uh, um, we weren't watching you...we were, uh, birdwatching. Yeah, birdwatching!" a teenager answered. "Cool, a Painted Bunting." "Painted Buntings don't live in Washington," Scully said, more and more annoyed. But she turned around and there was a brightly colored bird in the bush. She was sure it wasn't there before...she turned back around and there was another one. "WHAT'S GOING ON?" "Humans. What can you do? Even the smartest of them are so blind," said the man with the superior expression. Scully didn't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. "I had thought you weren't even going to notice us. I am Q." "Q? Like the letter?" "Yes, like the letter. I don't suppose you watch Star Trek: The Next Generation." "No..." "Well, I was on that a few times. I am an omniscient and omnipotent being." "Really, are you," Scully said in her most skeptical tone. Suddenly she felt herself being lifted three...six...ten feet in the air, then put down again. "Hey!" "Scully?" asked Mulder, coming out of the restaurant. "Who ARE you people?!?" asked Scully. "Relationshippers," said a teenager. "We came to Vancouver to try to persuade Chris Carter to- well, anyway, Q said he could bring us here." "And here we are." "SPYING on us?" "What else would we be doing here?" "GO AWAY!" "WE intend to stay here," said Q. "Of course, if you want to be far away from us..." Scully saw a bright flash of light and looked around. The sky had cleared to a bright blue color, and the sun, which had already set, was shining brightly. Hot pavement-no, it was sand!-burned under her bare feet, and a warm tropical breeze blew the scent of salty water into her face. Oh god. She was on a tropical island, in a bikini, alone except for Mulder. Get a grip, she told herself. After all, it was a free vacation on a beautiful beach, and if her life was going to keep getting stranger and stranger she may as well enjoy it. She waded into the water, cool and refreshing on her burnt feet. After a few minutes, she began to worry about getting sunburned and a bottle of sunscreen, SPF 30, appeared on the beach. She waded out and put some sunscreen. Scully grinned and thought about a chocolate bar. Well, this was getting better and better. Maybe this Q guy wasn't so sadistic after all. She bit into the chocolate and a dribble of it that had melted ran down her chin. "Where are we, do you think?" asked Mulder. "Probably in the Pacific, unless we've gone forward or back in time. It's at least a couple hours earlier here. Some tiny desert island." The island was only about the size of a suburban backyard, with no vegetation except for a few palm trees. "I wonder if there are any scorpions." This time, what she was thinking of didn't appear when she thought of it. Where would scorpions have come from, anyway? From the beach, Scully couldn't see any other islands. "Probably not," she said. "You know, I have always had the feeling that the universe was being run by someone who thought it was some sick joke." "Life is a comedy for those who think, and a tragedy for those who feel. Hey, have you ever seen Star Trek: The Next Generation?" "Maybe once or twice while channel-flipping." "Any of the episodes with Q in them?" "Yeah, one. Q wants to prove something about love to Picard so he puts him in this Robin Hood thing." "So I guess we got off lucky. I've been thinking of taking a vacation anyway." Scully laughed. "Everyone immortal or pretending to be seems to want to put us together." "And all of those relationshippers." "Who've never even met us, so they have no business deciding what should happen in our personal lives. You'd think some of them would have seen 'Emma.'" "Well, they thought we were just fictional characters whose fates are completely decided by Chris Carter." "Not that I hate you so much or anything, I just don't want to be forced into a decision by people who don't even know me." "I kind of feel sorry for the versions of ourselves in the fanfiction. I bet there are some really weird stories out there." "You know, I think we are in fanfiction. There's probably no way Chris Carter would authorize this." "You may be right," Mulder said. Scully wished for a lawn chair or at least a towel to lie on and some beach novels. As she expected, they appeared. "How'd you do that?" asked Mulder, who had been swimming earlier and hadn't noticed the sunscreen and chocolate bar. "You just think about it, and you get it." Mulder closed his eyes, then, after a few minutes, cautiously opened them one at a time. "It doesn't work for me," he said. "It doesn't? Not even for mundane things like cheap sunglasses?" Scully asked as cheap sunglasses appeared over her eyes. He paused for a few seconds. "No." "I'm sorry. But I can't imagine why. Maybe I should read something about this Q guy." Two books, Q-Squared and Q-In-Law, appeared at her feet and she started reading Q-In-Law. Even if she wasn't familiar with any of the characters, maybe it would be a good book. Scully was a fast reader, and it wasn't an especially long, serious, or demanding book. If nothing else could be said for it, at least it was funny and revealing about Q. As she reached the last few chapters, she gasped. "Scully, what's wrong?" "I think I've found out what's going on." He couldn't have. He just couldn't have. Could he? "I think Q has given me Q powers." The prospect truly frightened her, and she pressed further into the book. Maybe if she wished for answers, she could have had them, but she just couldn't stop reading. Finally, with a sigh, she finished it. "This is weird, but I can't think of any other reason." "Why you?" "I have no idea. "Why?" "So we wouldn't starve to death or get sunburned, I guess. Anyway, I think they're probably pretty limited. In comparison to what Q can really do. I bet we can't even get off this island." Then, after a pause, she said, "Yeah, it didn't work." Scully shrugged and splashed into the water. She didn't want to think about it right now. They had a delicious lobster dinner by the sunset. They'd already had half a hamburger each, but that was hours ago. Over twelve hours had passed since she'd met Kevin at the McDonalds, and she was getting really tired. She wished for sleeping bags for Mulder and herself, and got them. But tired as she was, Scully couldn't get to sleep. She wanted to know what was happening, and why. She was suddenly aware of someone else on the beach. "Q? Is that you? What's going on?" she asked sleepily. "Haven't you gotten the least bit bored yet?" "Hey! What's the deal with these Q-powers or whatever?" He laughed harshly. "These...are only a tiny, minuscule fraction of my powers. Consider yourself lucky." "Uh-huh. Whatever. When do we get back?" "When I decide you go back." "Well, at least you're not putting Mulder and me in some silly life-or-death situation to bring us closer together." Q looked patronizingly down at Scully. "If that's what you'd like to believe..." "What?" "It came down to a definite death for me or a few scary days for you. I am infinitely superior to you, you know. So it's completely justified if, once in a while, I write a script and brainwash Chris Carter or one of those other writers into believing they wrote it. So far it hasn't worked at all." "Like which ones?" Scully asked suspiciously. "Let's see...'Irresistible', of course, was one of my better ones...'Pusher', too." Scully flipped through the X-Files companion to 'Irresistible.' "You did THAT one?" she screamed at him. "Why you little-" "That's hardly any way to talk to an omnipotent being." "You don't deserve to live six billion years. I don't think I can stand the thought of you living any longer than that. I still can't imagine why the universe's continued survival is completely dependent on something like this." "No, of course you can't, being only human. It would be of no use to even try to explain it to you." "Try." He threw her a nectarine. Scully took off the peel and bit into the sweet, juicy fruit. "It's good, but what does this have to do with anything?" "You're hopeless," Q sighed, and vanished. Scully sighed and went to sleep. Fatigue overcame Scully's jetlag, and she didn't wake up until around six thirty local time-sometime late in the morning Eastern time. She ate some breakfast and then continued reading Peter David books and the Official X-Files Companion. She had been lulled into a sense of ordinary and comforting deja vu when she stumbled on the section for the episode "3." Apparently Gillian Anderson had been pregnant and they'd had to do a show without her. One that took place during the period when she had been abducted. And as she read the synopsis, she realized that she was insanely jealous. This was ridiculous. Q must really be getting to her. Well, it wasn't fair. It wasn't! Scully hadn't had a serious relationship in years. (Then again, neither had Mulder, said the most sensible part of her brain.) But he was going to next season. And it seemed that the only people opposed were the relationshippers, and she definitely wasn't one of them...so why was she so jealous? Kevin had told her that it was destiny, that if they just gave each other a chance something would develop. Maybe, just maybe, he'd been right. Deep down, she didn't want to have the universe implode in six billion years, even if she would gladly see Q dead. It would only be fair, considering that he'd nearly gotten her killed himself. Then again, either way, the fate of the universe wasn't the only thing to be considered. It shouldn't be a factor at all. What really mattered was that Scully had never really felt anything for Mulder...until now. And what about Mulder? Did he feel anything for her? She was torn between wanting and not wanting to know. She picked up the paperback copy of 'Q-Squared,' opening it to the second chapter where she'd left off. She was only reading it in the hopes that she'd gain some kind of sympathy for the strange being who was Q, but so far the only people she felt sympathy and compassion for were the ones who kept losing their tempers at him. Several hours later, she finished the book with absolutely no idea what had happened. "Good book?" Mulder asked her as she put it down with a sigh. "I have no idea. Everything was fine until all the universes started running together. But maybe Q isn't such a bad guy after all." "You think?" "Well, that may be a bit of an overstatement. He just-has his own methods. That doesn't mean the goals are any less valid." "Which is your oblique way of saying-" "Mulder-I don't know. Maybe-" "Maybe Kevin was right." "Huh?" "I know you don't feel the same way, but maybe we should give this a chance." "I didn't mean I didn't think Kevin might have been right, Mulder. I just didn't expect you to say that, that's all. No, I think you're right. If there's any chance that this will work out, we should explore it." "Yeah. We should." And then something that would have surprised Scully, if by now she hadn't gotten used to the surprising, happened. At three in the afternoon, the sun started to set. "Must be Q again," she said simply. "It adds atmoshpere, though, doesn't it." Then, to Scully's somewhat-less-than-astonishment, the lovably retro song that had been circulating in her head for the past week started playing. "When you need a friend, don't look to a stranger," the lyrics started. "Come on, let's dance," said Scully. "You know in the end, I'll always be there." They started dancing. It wasn't a slow song, or a particularly deep one, but it was a happy song. And Scully was happy. "And when you're in doubt, when you're in danger," Mulder began singing, very softly and slightly off key. "Take a look all around, and I'll be there." "You know this song?" Scully whispered to Mulder. "Yeah. It's one of my favorites, actually." "I'm sorry but I'm just thinking of the right words to say, I know they don't sound the way I planned them to be." "And it's been running around in my head all day," Mulder continued. "But if you wait around a while I'll make you fall for me, I promise you, I promise you, I will." Scully pressed up closer to Mulder. Q, and the universe, and everything else had dropped out of her mind. The moment was, for lack of a better word to describe it, perfect. And the FBI wouldn't like it and it would only undermine the validity of the X-Files and oh darn Q wasn't going to die after all and tomorrow was Monday and to hell with all of that. ************* Epilogue The year 6,000,001,996 Q had always know humans were destined for greatness, even equality with the Q Continuum. He had always had the utmost confidence in them, even though time after time he was told that humans were puny and inferior and of course he hadn't believed a word of it(even though it had been true at the time.) Oh, there had been a few tense moments here and there, like who would win that darn sixth world war, but in the tradition of the first five the sensible side won, thanks of course to that soldier, Mulder. Centuries-mere heartbeats in Q terms of course-had passed since he'd tried that one last-ditch effort to save all of the universe. And, much to his surprise, it had worked.