From 75037.51@CompuServe.COM Sat Jun 14 21:00:55 1997
From: Mandy Gordon <75037.51@CompuServe.COM>
Newsgroups: alt.fan.q,alt.startrek.creative
Subject: Story:  Final Exam (Voy, J/Q)  2/2
Date: 15 Jun 1997 04:00:55 GMT
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This is a sequel to "Test Questions" (where Picard muses over the nature of 
Q).  Set after "The Q and the Grey," the focus shifts to Janeway and her own 
interactions with the Continuum.  I'm going to repost "Test Questions" so 
people don't have to fetch it from the archive if they're interested.

Mandy

*****


Final Exam


     A godchild.  Who'd have thought?  Kathryn Janeway, spiritual guardian 
of a Q, sat back comfortably in her ready room with a cup of coffee poised 
in her hand.  However was she going to explain this to Starfleet Command?  
The thought made her chuckle inside, imagining herself sheepishly explaining
to some admiral how a federation captain had inadvertently caused the Q to 
learn how to reproduce.  Oh, they were going to love her for that.  And as 
the child's godmother, just exactly what where her responsibilities 
regarding this little godling?  Somehow she didn't think any Q, no matter 
how young, was going to be particularly receptive to the idea of a supreme 
being.  Went against their genetic, so to speak, makeup.  She would have to 
ask its father.
     And what about Q?  What were her responsibilities to him?  He'd all but
begged her to help him change the Continuum.  After Quinn gave the ultimate 
gift to his people, Q had resolved to pick up where Quinn left off, 
determined to shake the soul of the Continuum to its very foundation if only
to stave off his own interminable boredom.
     She could sympathize -- to a point.  Q's reputation as an evil force of
nature had become less and less the actions of a malevolent being than the 
frantic outbursts of a desperate man.  She could almost feel sorry for him, 
almost.  Picard's report of the crewmen Q sacrificed to the Borg, his 
capricious and harmful games with the Enterprise's command crew, and his 
obvious disregard for "lower lifeforms" of any kind conspired to instill in 
Janeway a distrust two encounters with the occasionally charming and always 
dynamic being had gone only partway to dispelling.  She liked Q.  He was 
witty and masterful, a powerful combination for which any woman would feel 
attraction, but his utter contempt for the well-being of anyone he wasn't 
interested in was damning.  It went against every tenet of her training at 
the Academy and beyond.  How could anyone who knew so much understand so 
little?  That she'd actually had to explain to him the concept of teaching 
his son the social responsibilities he wanted him to learn made her think a 
Q's capacity for understanding must be very shallow indeed.


     Now now, Kathy.  Don't you think that's a little harsh?  Especially 
coming from someone who's not only stranded her crew beyond all hope of 
reasonable rescue, but continually sticks the ship's proverbial nose into 
any potentially dangerous situation?  And humans are so fond of saying they 
learn from their mistakes...
     The occasionally charming and always dynamic being in question shifted 
the energies of its mind.  It was fun to bait humans -- their responses were
so often entertaining, one spacestation captain notwithstanding -- but 
ultimately the game was unproductive.  The pressure, recently absent, was 
back and the entire Continuum was reacting badly.  That was the problem with
being connected so intimately to your brothers and sisters; their distress 
was your distress.  Not that he wasn't equally concerned.


     Janeway set aside the empty cup and moved to examine the ship's weekly 
status report.  Not enough of this, no where to store too much of that, 
unable to replicate necessary items, the kinds of things one fixed 
periodically at a starbase.  She sighed.  What she wouldn't give to 
replicate a starbase.  How simple it would be for someone of Q's power to 
simply whisk them all home, but how like the omnipotent race to be so caught
up in their own problems that thanking the people who had just stopped their
civil war hadn't even occurred to them.  Of course, it was even likelier 
that very few races found themselves in a position to help even a single Q, 
much less the entire Continuum.  Perhaps they'd never had a reason to thank 
anyone before.  
     She sighed again and tried to shrug off thoughts of ungrateful gods.  
It was time to wander the ship.  Something she tried to do at least once a 
week, she found her periodic visits to areas she would normally have little 
cause to frequent had a sort of uplifting effect.  It gave the impression 
she cared about her crew, which she did, and that her decisions were always 
based on their best interests, which they usually were.  Sometimes she would
take Chakotay or one of the other bridge officers with her, but more often 
than not she made the rounds alone, with little notice and no fanfare, as if 
to show it was the places and people she was visiting that were important, 
not the visitor.
     As she made her way across the bridge to the turbolift, a nod to Tuvok,
currently in command, told him where she was going.  He was the one person 
she almost never took on her surveys.  The crew, even Starfleet personnel, 
just didn't react warmly to him and it was warmth more than anything else 
she was trying to project.  Tuvok was a fine officer and her friend, but his
ability to offer sympathy or compassion, or even show he understood them, 
was as limited as a Q's understanding of gratitude.


     Well, isn't that the pot calling the kettle black.  Since when did any 
human thank *me*?  Was the Federation grateful when I warned them about the 
Borg?  Was Picard relieved when I took a dangerously immature Q back to the 
Continuum where she belonged?  Did he thank me when I taught him how the 
threads of his life made him into the man he is now?  Of course not.  It 
was just "Q!  How dare you blah, blah-blah, blah-blah."  Gratitude indeed.
     Q was annoyed.  He'd given up on Picard because the man had gone just 
about as far as it was possible to drag him.  Too rigid.  Too caught up in 
his own righteousness.  Janeway, on the other hand, showed considerably more
promise.  More flexible, more openminded.  She'd begun to play the game with
him almost immediately, seeming to understand his instinctive need for 
verbal fencing without responding to his thrusts with overblown seriousness.
And she seemed more willing to trust him.  It had taken a tremendous amount 
of haggling with the powers that be to stage that "war" for her, but the 
ultimate goal of winning her trust was achieved.  She'd even called his 
"son" adorable.  Now here she was moaning about how the Q hadn't thanked her
for saving the Continuum (as if any race as advanced as the Q would stoop to 
war) rather than examining what her experiences in the Continuum could teach
her.  Perhaps the Q just weren't cut out for this sort of thing.
     

     Perhaps the Q just weren't fit to be allowed to continue.


     Torres was explaining to her captain about a plasma relay problem 
developing in Cargo Bay 2 when Lt. Paris wandered in from one of the 
turbolifts to check on a navigation interface glitch.  A friendly hello, a 
slightly longer look than was customary, the almost imperceptible smiles and
Janeway knew there was something going on.  She approved.  In many ways they
were a lot alike, both outcasts of a sort, Tom for betraying both Starfleet 
and the Maquis, B'Elanna as the only Klingon on board.  It was good they'd 
found some common ground and the basis for what could turn into a serious 
relationship.  She was surprised more of her crew hadn't paired up by now, 
but perhaps when they did she would know they'd lost all hope of a speedy 
return home.  Possibly that's why Tom and B'Elanna had paired up so quickly;
they had little to return home to.
     She left Engineering and moved along the passageways to Hydroponics.  
She loved to spend time in there, be among the growing things, and it was 
there or Sickbay she would most likely run into Kes.  Now there was an 
enigma.  How could such an ephemeral being possess such tranquillity and 
wisdom after only four years of life?  She knew many people without those 
qualities even into old age, after decades of experience, and yet here was 
Kes, who could see into the very hearts of monsters with understanding and 
compassion and truth.  What would be her insight into Q?


     Kes.  Now why hadn't he thought of that?  This was just the creature 
who might lead the damn woman in the direction she must go.  In the 
direction he wanted her to go.  Same thing.


     "Q, Captain?"  Kes looked surprised.  "What is troubling you about 
him?"
     Janeway smiled.  Not "what about him?" or "why do you bring him up?" 
but "what is troubling *you* about him?"  She was a born counselor.
     "It's nothing specific, Kes.  I've simply found myself thinking about 
him almost constantly since we got back from the Continuum's civil war.  I 
guess I'm just interested in hearing what *you* think of him."  Janeway 
smiled warmly at the young woman.  "I respect your judgment."
     Rather than blushing like an adolescent, Kes gazed thoughtfully into 
the middle distance before speaking.  That was another thing the captain 
liked about her; she didn't rush to fill the silence as if the void were an 
empty thing.  She considered her words carefully before saying them.
     "I think he is afraid."


     What!


     Janeway blinked.  "I beg your pardon?"
     Kes shook her head quickly and prepared to explain.  "Not scared 
afraid, more like anxious, as if some danger is drawing near and he doesn't 
know what to do about it."
     "Danger?  To a Q?"  Janeway was intrigued.  "What danger could any Q 
face -- other than their own kind, that is."
     "I've been reading the ship's historical database, Captain, to better 
understand humans and the Federation.  When Q first arrived, I researched
all the entries regarding him and his interactions with your people, the 
Enterprise, Deep Space Nine.  I wanted to know what to expect from him."
     Janeway laughed.  "And you found him completely unpredictable.  We 
certainly do."
     Kes smiled back, but shook her head no.  "I think I've determined a 
defining thread to almost all his actions."
     "Indeed?"  Janeway was impressed.  The finest minds in the Federation 
had "worked" on Q since he first snagged the Enterprise into one of his 
little games.  "I can think of several scientists who would like a word 
with you if you claim to have cracked the Q code."
     Kes became more expressive as she warmed to her subject, beginning to 
pace and gesticulate.  "Think about it, Captain.  What exactly does Q do 
when he appears?"
     "Endanger people?"
     Kes smiled.  "Besides that."
     Janeway shrugged, her face blank.  "Incite others to fantasize about 
murder?"
     "No."  Kes shook her head again, refusing to take the bait.  "In almost
every encounter I read, with two exceptions, his goal seemed to be one of 
measuring our response to some challenge, as if he was testing us.  Why 
would omniscient beings need to put humanity on trial?"
     Janeway cast her thoughts back to Picard's report on his first 
encounter with the entity, how he had put them on trial for the "crimes of 
humanity."  She'd wondered then what point such an exercise could possibly 
have, but dismissed it as the Continuum's excuse to play with its prey.  It 
was only Picard's good sense and incredible luck that showed Q a side to her
people interesting enough to stop him from going in for the kill.  That was 
what she'd always assumed, but now, in light of Kes' questioning and her own
experiences with the all-powerful, she was beginning to see what the small 
woman in front of her was seeing.
     "But why would the Continuum test us?  What could they possibly learn 
that they don't know already?"
     Kes resumed her line of thought.  "First he tests humanity with the 
Farpoint Station puzzle, then he comes back to test Riker with the powers 
of Q, but from then on he focuses entirely on Picard, as if he's made his 
choice of playmate."
     "Or student."
     Kes looked up.  "Yes, or student.  That's it exactly.  Except when the 
Continuum stripped him of his powers and the incident with the young Q, 
Amanda, all his efforts seem to be in setting up games for us, primarily 
Picard.  He experimented briefly with Captain Sisko, but immediately went 
back to the Enterprise when Sisko apparently failed to provide him with 
whatever it is he wants."
     Janeway shrugged again, albeit less elaborately than before.  "So Q is 
testing Picard.  Why?"
     "I think he needs something from us, Captain.  Something that's sent 
him coming back over and over to the same person, almost as if he was 
grooming him for something important."
     Janeway tried to think this through.  "This important thing having 
something to do with the sense you get that he's in danger?"
     Kes nodded, then looked at her captain very directly.  "And now he's 
started coming here."


     Q was stunned.  How had he overlooked this little busybody?  She made 
Troi look positively obtuse with these insights that bordered on the 
clairvoyant.  Then again, her race did have a history of such things but 
still, that she should read a Q!  It was almost offensive.
     She was right though.  The Continuum was afraid and with good reason.


     Janeway finished her tour with only half of her attention and almost 
none of her mind.  She kept turning Kes' thoughts over and over in her head,
trying to fit the puzzle together into some kind of cohesive whole.  Was Q 
afraid?  Kes thought so, but to Janeway it just didn't seem right.  Q came 
across as many things:  arrogant, inconsiderate, rude, occasionally 
thoughtful and strangely compassionate (if one stretched the definition), 
but he hadn't ever seemed nervous, let alone frightened.  Why had he 
invested so much time in Picard?  And was he still paying visits on poor 
Jean-Luc?  There was no way to know, of course, but somehow she didn't think
so.  And if he was truly focusing his attentions on her, what did it mean?  
Was she supposed to learn something now?  Puh.  To her mind, it was the 
Continuum who could stand to do some learning, like how to manage their 
affairs without endangering the structure of time and space.  What an 
overblown bunch of windbags.  And they had the nerve to call humans a 
"dangerous, savage child-race."  Children only knocked each other off their 
bicycles; Q went around exploding stars.


     Stupid woman.  As if any omnipotent race would do anything *by 
accident.*  Should never have staged that war.  Now she's all caught up in 
examining the Q's shortcomings.  Should have worked on her the same way I 
did Picard.  She's smarter than he is; she'd have understood the point to 
the tests instead of getting on a high horse to lecture me everytime I tried
to teach her anything.
     Q could feel the unrest in the Continuum growing; it was a constant 
source of unease, making it hard to concentrate.  How could he get anywhere 
with all that badgering?  They were like a crowd of hecklers at a sports 
event trying to distract a player.  Shouldn't someone tell them they were 
all on the same team?  And he'd called Janeway stupid.


     Easily distracted and impatient.  No, perhaps the Q weren't fit to 
continue at all.


     The captain yawned, twice, and finally put her padd back down on the 
desk.  Twenty-three hundred hours.  Past her bedtime, but tired as she might
be, thoughts of Q still roamed around her head making her unsettled and 
preoccupied.  Damn the man.  As if Voyager weren't enough for her to worry 
about.  The door chimed.
     "Come."
     She was not entirely happy to see her first officer walk in.  Chakotay 
wasn't Tuvok in that he wasn't quite as respectful of his captain's privacy.
Not that he was given to intrude, it was just that he was much more likely 
to ask after her well-being whereas Tuvok tended to keep his thoughts to 
himself unless he perceived something in her that might interfere with her 
duties as captain.  Chakotay seemed more interested in her person than in 
her position.  His first words confirmed her thoughts.
     "Captain, it's getting a bit late.   I thought I'd see if I can't hurry
you off to bed."
     She bit back her annoyance, forcibly reminding herself it really was 
late and she'd had a long, unproductive day.  She could hardly fault 
Chakotay for caring about her.  After all, if not for him her position here 
would be impossible.  It was his support for her plan to combine the two 
crews and his continued loyalty in the face of their initial hostility that 
made this ship function at all.  She owed him more than her command; she 
owed him her chance to bring them all home safely, she might even owe him 
her life.  That old scenario of Tuvok's B'Elanna found in the holodeck 
database was no mere fiction; it could very well have been fact, if not for 
Chakotay being the man he was.  Besides, it's not as if he was 
unattractive...
     The sudden image of Q sporting a tattoo over half his face and 
claiming his was "bigger" jarred Janeway out of her slowly mellowing mood.  
God dammit.
     "Go ahead, Chakotay.  I'm almost right behind you.  Five minutes, no 
more."
     He smiled, nodded, and left the room, not entirely assured she would be
right behind him, but knowing any more suggestions from him would not only 
be ignored, but might actually have the opposite effect.  Captains were 
contrary that way.


     And human women say size doesn't matter.  
     Q's energies fluctuated as he considered his options.  He could 
intervene now, force Janeway's thoughts towards more productive ends, but 
that seemed clumsy -- he could do better.  Perhaps he should place the ship 
in a situation that would manipulate her thinking, but that seemed a long 
shot at best.  The one thing he couldn't do was directly change her mind; 
that was cheating and would likely be the last thing any Q would ever do 
before the Continuum was called to face judgment.


     Midnight.  Way past her bedtime.  Slowly she stretched, rose, closed 
the open file with a word, and headed for the door.  It surprised her to see
Tuvok still at the tactical station; not that he wasn't inclined to working 
late, but he did acknowledge his efficiency was impaired without sufficient 
rest.  It was illogical to work beyond one's physical capacity unless 
circumstances dictated it.  Of course, vulcans could go for days without 
sleep, but it stressed their systems and lowered their immune response.  Not
a good thing when stranded in the middle of uncharted territory.
     "I've had enough for today, Tuvok."  She smiled a goodnight at him with
eyes suggesting he not be too long in following her and stepped into the 
turbolift.  Tuvok merely raised an eyebrow at her protectiveness.
     As the lift descended to her level, she considered her longtime friend.
In some ways his position here was even more isolated than Tom's.  The 
Maquis distrusted him because he had spied on them; Starfleet and Maquis 
both disliked the coldly efficient way in which he not only ran his 
department, but treated his fellow crewmates as well.  There was no 
camaraderie with Tuvok, no warmth; the desperateness of their situation 
which had drawn people from different sides together left him untouched.  
Of all her people, he was the most stable and, paradoxically, the one most 
likely to erupt.
     The passageway was empty.  No surprise there, it was after midnight.  
As she strode towards her cabin, her thoughts turned again to Q.  What was 
his relationship within the Continuum?  Was he liked?  Did he have friends? 
He apparently had a lover, whatever that means to an incorporeal, immortal,
omnipotent being, but she wasn't quite sure what to make of their 
"lovemaking."  At least he'd been good, she thought with a smile, hurriedly 
burying the sudden question of what he could have done for her.  No doubt it
would have been an experience to remember, although she could do without 
being cast in the role of Eve.
     There was obviously room for a great deal of dissent within the 
Continuum, if their recent disagreement was anything to go by.  Perhaps the 
greatest measure of any society was not in how they treated their criminals,
but in how they dealt with nonconformity.  An insecure culture smothered it,
more often than not destroying the nonconformist in the process, much as 
they'd tried first to silence Q, then to kill him.
     But then, given that he was part of a greater whole, maybe disciplining
an individual was analogous to treating a disease.  One cut out a cancer;
one didn't accommodate it.  Q the malignant growth.  She almost laughed.


     How rude.  One could say the same of material lifeforms, infesting 
every corner of the universe.  Now that's a disease.
     This wasn't working.  Janeway was not the type to indulge in the kind 
of abstract musing Picard wallowed in.  Despite her scientific background,
she was more practical, less inclined to explore the metaphysical.  Without 
that natural desire to find metaphor in everything, the chances of Voyager's
captain ever truly understanding what Q was trying to teach her were highly 
unlikely.  Which was a shame for him, Q actually enjoyed spending time 
sparring with her, and a disaster for the Continuum, for which Q would 
forever curse her name.  The fear underlying everything exploded.


     The Oldest One monitoring the experiment frowned with increasing 
disapproval.  He'd watched these Q struggle with their material proteges, 
watched them try to form some kind of connection with beings so different 
from themselves, and seen them fail miserably.  They just didn't understand,
expecting their charges to aspire to their level instead of coming down to 
theirs.  Such a waste.  Yet another promising species with insurmountable 
limitations.
     It was over.  The Q had failed.


*****
Mandy Gordon
75037.51@compuserve.com
June 1997