Path: news2.delphi.com!news.delphi.com!news-feed.iguide.com!imci2!news.internetMCI.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!swrinde!howland.reston.ans.net!news-e2a.gnn.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: jjarrow@aol.com (JJ ARROW) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Subject: NEW: Blank (VOY, Janeway, Q) Date: 1 Apr 1996 14:53:24 -0500 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 221 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <4jpc7k$qdp@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: jjarrow@aol.com (JJ ARROW) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com This isn't my best piece of writing, but I like the idea- the climax is awful, and Janeway's descicons are *not* plausible. But hey, *I* like it. Feel free to comment. Blank by JJ ARROW (Jamie) Captain Kathryn Janeway took at a last glimpse of the stars out of her quarter's port window, before slipping her robe off and settling into bed. A familiar burst of light sounded to her left, and she bolted upright at the noise. She wasn't sure what to think, exactly, when she saw who it was that had so impolitely appeared in her bedroom. The only thing she could think of was, *At least he's not in my bed this time.* Remembering how hectic things had been the *last* time he was here, she tried to prepare her mind for something, anything, and found that she could not. She had no idea what to make of him this time, no idea at all. Friend or foe? He was a shade of gray, and she didn't quite know what to do. *I told you we would meet again,* he thought, somewhat bitterly, as he approached the captain, reading her eyes. He kept the urgency in his voice, hoping it might evoke a response, as he whispered, mind racing, "I hate being in debt to mortals, but I must ask a favor of you." Pretty human... short lives, like burning candles, but long memories. Perhaps she was the only one that could possibly aid him now. Hopefully, humans were still as compassionate and soft as he remembered them, hopefully the harsh Delta Quadrant hadn't changed all that. A favor? Intriguing that a self-proclaimed omnipotent godling needed a favor of *her*. He was still in his usual alert-relaxed pose, but his dark eyes were urgent and haunted. "Look at me, Kathy," he said(she didn't like it when he called her Kathy). He glanced around nervously, and his voice started to speed up. "Remember the way I am now. They are going to -" "Who are 'they'? The Q Continuum?" "Yes," he continued, voice speeding along, as he paced back and forth. "They are going to change me." "Change you? How are they-" He was sick of all these interruptions. He waved his hand imperceptively. Janeway opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She growled silently. "I have *no* time." He faced her. "You won't see me again, unless *they* wish it. And I will be far different than I am now. *Remember me* the way I am." Janeway nodded, more to be reassuring, than in an affirmation that she would follow out this biazzare request. She turned sharply at another flash of light. It was another apparent human male. His deep blue eyes grinned coolly at her from under his mop of inky black hair, and very pale skin. He reminded her of a raven. The first visitor to her quarters turned to the second. "Q," he said with a smile, not entirely successful at keeping all of the nervousness out of his voice. The raven-haired Q approached him carefully, his voice coaxing and gentle. "You're not feeling very well, Q. You've had an accident, and we're going to make it better." Q fought the instinct that screamed, "RETREAT!!!". "I'm feeling fine," he snapped, the slight anger keeping his voice from quavering. "The only thing that's 'wrong' with me is that *I* dared to play against the rules." "Stop this now!!" yelled a tired Janeway, when she remembered that she couldn't talk. "Come with me," the second Q asked nicely. He stepped toward his brethren. "Let us help you, Q." "No," said Q, in a very small voice. The second Q grabbed his arm, and they disappeared. Janeway stood, staring at the empty space where both the Q had been nanoseconds ago. A stormcloud settled on her mind. Something very bad was happening, she could feel it, and she couldn't do anything about it. She sat on her bed, unable to sleep. The one ray of sunlight throughout all this darkness was that she could speak again. There was another flash of light. Not again. She couldn't deal with this. It was Q, the Q that the Enterprise knew so well. But, it *wasn't* the Q that the Enterprise knew so well. Outwardly, he looked just like she saw him the last time. His posture was the same, his features were the same, he walked the length of her bedroom with the same walk. But as he approached at her, and looked at her, she saw his eyes. They were empty. Not haunted, not sad, not mysterious, not *alive*. Dead, empty eyes. Janeway watched, stunned, as the person who looked like Q and acted like Q but couldn't have been Q leaned back against a wall in the exact same way that Q did. "Q..." she said so softly that it was almost a subvocalization. Q looked up obediently. *Not* curiously, *not* fearfully. Just looked up, because she was addressing him, just looked up mechanically, like a robot. She walked over to him, tilting her head upward, searching for a sign of the *person* that used to inhabit this...this *thing*. It was like someone had ripped a piece out of him, like he was just...blank. "Can you hear me?" she asked. A nod. "Can you speak?" "Yes." His voice was dull, passive, without expression. Her voice was sharp. This sickened her. This was not the being who argued for his "brother's" life, that arrogantly postured about her bridge, making sexist remarks. This was not the being who had whispered sweet, dark promises in her ear. "What did they do to you?" "They healed me," he answered automatically. "Perfect, isn't he?" came a voice behind her. She whirled to see the other Q standing there, grinning broadly. "Change him back," Janeway snarled. "Why?" the other Q asked, walking out in front of her, gesturing to the empty Q. "We've cured him. He had a sickness, dear." Anger flashed in Janeway's eyes. "*Cure*? You *cured* him, by turning him into your *puppet*?" "He assissted with a suicide. We cannot condone his errant behavior, nor allow it to go on. There must be order. This way, we have assured that he will not act that way again." "Oh yes, because it was far too *dangerous* for you, wasn't he?" Janeway replied, acid conviction in her tone. "He was forcing your society to *think* about your actions, and deal with change. It was *far* too dangerous." She pointed to Q. "There isn't a *person* there. That is a *machine* that you have created to think your thoughts." "He was evil," the blue-eyed Q said smoothly. "We cannot allow that evil to poison us." Janway clenched her teeth. "He wasn't evil. You poison *yourselves*." The other Q was still calm. "Would *you* allow a dangerous person to run free on *your* starship, captain? I think you wouldn't." "I-" The raven-haired Q continued smoothly, sentence unbroken. "He *helped* one of our own commit *suicide*. A step down from murder, captain, and nothing less." "Quinn was *suffering*," Janeway said firmly, her eyes imploring for a bit of reason. "I saw that for myself. *Anyone* would have wished for death over those- those intolerable circumstances." She continued, her voice firm, unbreaking, with a fierce fire burning behind them. She held the Q's gaze. "It turns my stomach, to think that you can be allowed to *destroy* someone so completely, for stepping out of line." She couldn't quite totally believe herself. Q was quite rude and obnoxious the last time he came here, although he had shown some redeeming qualities. And according to the Enterprise, his earlier visits to the Federation had been a lot worse. But...but he was a *person*. And that person had been destroyed. And she couldn't allow that to happen. And...perhaps... a tiny hidden part of her...missed him? Nahh. "Change him back. He's on *my* ship, and as captain of this vessel, I'm responsible for *everyone* aboard. I can't allow this." The pale Q smiled again, his blue eyes chuckling. "But he isn't under your care, dear captain. We are responsible for him." He crept close to Janeway. "Besides," he said quietly, "do you *really* want him back the way he was? Don't you remember the way he *used* to be?" *Remember the way I am now...* His eyes panned toward the other Q, who had seated himself on the floor, leaning back against the bulkhead. "He would do anything you wanted, now. He would take you home, if you asked him." He added louder, "Wouldn't you, Q? Would you like to be nice and do the Captain a favor?" "As you wish, " Q said quietly, passively. Janeway willed the tears away, as images of Mark's face came to her mind, thoughts that she just couldn't stop. Home... they could go home... And if she passed up this beautiful chance, it would be *all her fault*... Her voice broked slightly, as she shook her head violently, as if to rid herself of the painful memories. "This...isn't...right..." The second Q's voice was so mellow, so reassuring. "Of course it is." She almost...*almost*... believed him. Looking up sharply, she said, painfully, "*Change...him...back*." "Don't you think it should be *his* choice?" the blue-eyed Q asked calmly. The ace up his sleeve. Janeway clenched her teeth. She should have known. "Do you want to be changed back to the way you were?" he asked Q, leaning over him. Janeway saw him add something in barely audible whispers. "Do you want to be evil again?" he whispered in the empty Q's ear. "Do you want to be the bad person, the screw-up, who helped one of his own to die? Remember the evil wretch, who was so bad, that he was turned human for his crimes? Do you want to be evil again, so that you can do evil things, and be punished again? Turned human again? Don't you remember how miserable you were when you were human?" The emotion that shouldn't have been there choked Q's throat. "...no..." he whispered, very, very quietly. "No," he said louder, in the dull voice. "No." "You see?" said the second Q. "He's happy the way he is. Why should you deny him his happiness?" "He has no happiness! He has no feeling, not even any opinion, except the one you imprint on him!" protested Janeway. "You've stolen it from him!" "He's pure, now Captain. You will not destroy his purity." "*This isn't purity*." Janeway seethed. "How could you do this to one of your own? How can you possibly live with yourself?" Her mind raced, and she suddenly thought of something. "You aren't pure," she continued, her voice acerbic. "You delude yourselves. You all appoint yourselves guardian of all that which is morally correct, but I say you're a hypocrite. If you had *any* scruples, you would allow him to change on his own. But you've *taken* taht choice from him. You're *thieves*." "You- you don't--" "This Q represents change, and you're afraid. So you destroy what you're afraid of. You don't have a 'pure, upstanding member of the Q Continuum.' You have a slave. The Federation doesn't condone slavery. I want you off my ship." "I--" He paused, weighing the implications of his thoughts, silently sharing them with other of the Q. "You win, captain." He waved his hand, and they both vanished. Janeway looked out the window, at the stars that could have been the stars in her own galaxy. She laid on her bed, succumbing to the tears, and fiercely willed herself to sleep. Epilogue Q appeared silently next to her bed, not quite touching a finger to her forehead, wiping clean the troubling memories of tonight's incident. It felt good to think for himself, to be able to feel good. And he owed it to this human woman. At least, if she didn't remember, he wasn't *technically* in debt to her... Hmm. Maybe he should wipe his *own* memory clean, too. He hated debts. Nah. He owed it to her.... Something wasn't functioning right in his human form; wetness was pricking at his eyes. The room must have been dusty. "We will meet again," he whispered softly. And he was gone. -JJ ---------------- "A man without his pants leaves little room for explanation." Ramos, LEGEND "We're Starfleet officers, Mr. Kim. Weird is part of the job." Janeway, ST: VOYAGER