From mercutio@europa.com Sun Apr 26 18:16:38 1998 Path: news2.ispnews.com!news11.ispnews.com!news1.ispnews.com!howland.erols.net!news.idt.net!newsfeed1.earthlink.net!nntp.earthlink.net!alexas From: mercutio@europa.com (Mercutio) Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated Subject: TSU: The John de Lancie Chair in Continuum Studies Date: Sun, 26 Apr 1998 19:16:38 -0700 Organization: Better Living Thru TrekSmut Lines: 152 Approved: ascem@earthlink.net Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: 208.254.108.34 Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Newsreader: Yet Another NewsWatcher 2.4.0 Xref: news2.ispnews.com alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated:7222 Subject: TSU: The John de Lancie Chair in Continuum Studies Date: Sun, 26 Apr 1998 05:37:32 GMT From: mercutio@europa.com (Mercutio) Organization: ISPNews http://ispnews.com To: alt-startrek-creative-erotica-moderated@moderators.uu.net Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative.erotica.moderated The crowd gathers in the foyer of the TSU library. Many are interested hangers-on, still more are in the running for this coveted seat. On my left is Julia Houston, campus bag lady, who has already declined the honor. I've heard that President Gifford has already marked her as "disqualified" for not having actually written a smut story involving Q, but many of the observers here feel that it was just a matter of time before Julia got around to it. Rumors swirl about a project she is working on which would involve Picard and Q. Speaking of Picard and Q, Varoneeka really sparkles tonight in her silver gown. The life of the party, she is the hands-on favorite for the De Lancie chair, as well as the coveted position of P/Q department head. Still, many feel that her candiacy only reflects President Gifford's ineligibility for these honors, and that must take some of the glow off of tonight. Let's see if we can get a word with Varoneeka. Mercutio: "How do you feel about tonight, Varoneeka? It must be a golden opportunity for you?" Varoneeka: "Well, people have been so incredibly sweet since I started this. I intend to keep Picard/Q in love for as long as everyone can stand." Mercutio: "How do you feel about Julia's ineligibility?" Varoneeka: "I think Julia could take the chair. Under that saintly exterior lies a scrappy fighter." Mercutio: "Thank you, Varoneeka." On my right are other luminaries from alt.fan.q. Robin Lawrie, visiting professor in Continuum studies; Laura Taylor also, in a rare appearance; and Jeanita Danzik, who has been on sabbatical from TSU for over a year now. Jeanita appears darkly brilliant tonight in her black leather outfit. Very Emma Peel. Watch out, Vee! But wait -- coming in through the door in the back, next to President Gifford -- who is that? Swaddled in purple robes, face covered, yet impossibly short -- it can be no one else but the reclusive Professor Emeritus, Alara Rogers. Yes, I see her now -- she just reached out from under her robes, and shook President Gifford's hand. Those long green gloves she's wearing certainly contrast with her robes. It's going to be quite a night, folks. Quite a night. Here we go! President Gifford has stepped to the center of the room, dominated (forgive me) by a large object covered with a white dropcloth. As we all know, it is the John de Lancie chair. President Gifford: "Thank you all for coming here tonight. I know you've all been awaiting this moment, so I won't keep you in suspense *too* long." [wicked smile, followed by moans from the audience] "Tonight we present the most distinguished honor in the department of Q studies. This is the highest distinction we can award to a professor in this area. Let us see what we are awarding." I can hear the audience gasping as the dropcloth is pulled away from the chair. It is not a chair, but a throne. The magnificience of it conveys both the power and arrogance of the Q, while the figure of John de Lancie smirks knowingly at all of us standing here before that seat. The dignity of the Q authors prevents any shoving or racing toward the chair. They are well-aware that it takes more than speed and strength to win this chair, but rather brillance and excellence that cannot be faked. President Gifford: "First, I would like to announce the name of the P/Q department head, something I know you've also been waiting for." She's holding something up. It appears to be a medallion. I'll see if we can get a better angle on it. [zooming camera] Yes, it is a medallion. And what a medallion! It's engraved with the figures of Picard and Q, only so bold and unlike anything but the imaginations of the depraved members of that department that no one could mistake it. A muscular and bare-chested Q is holding Picard across his arm, much like Rhett Butler holding Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind". It is exquisite. President Gifford: "And the department head is Varoneeka." Varoneeka is stepping forward to great applause, but I know that she must be disappointed. Department Head, while an important position, is not nearly the honor that holding the John de Lancie chair would be. And it seems impossible that both would be awarded to the same person. President Gifford: "And now, the John de Lancie chair. We in administration have had great difficulty with this honor. While there are no shortage of talented faculty for the chair, so many of those eligible have already declined the honor, either publicly or privately, such as my wife, atara, that it is difficult to find a deserving faculty member who is also willing to take the position." [she is scanning the audience, perhaps looking for someone] "Professor Emeritus Alara Rogers has declined the chair. While she was the obvious first choice, she feels that her abilities are best spent elsewhere. Consequently, our decision was a hard one. However, we would like to invite the Anon Sisters to take this seat. Their current work in the field of Continuumology is the boldest and most cutting edge being produced. We the administration feel that they can lead the Q department into the 21st century with pride and confidence." Now the entire audience is looking around. No one knows who the Anon Sisters are. How can two anonymous people take a seat? This will be a huge embarrassment for President Gifford. But wait -- two black-clothed shapes are coming to the front. They are completely covered in black cloth, much like ghosts on Halloween. Will they accept this chair? Tune in later. This has been Treksmut Today; reporting from the hallowed grounds of Treksmut University. Mercutio, signing off. ---mercutio@europa.com--- "Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old; seek what they sought." --Basho -- TSU If you build it, they will come Posting to ASCEM is easy--just send your messages to ascem@earthlink.net To subscribe or unsubscribe to the mirror list--and for all other list-related inquiries, write to asceml@aol.com