From netcom.com!www.nntp.primenet.com!nntp.primenet.com!feed1.news.erols.com!insync!uunet!in2.uu.net!204.137.200.41!news.cyberg8t.com!host40.cyberg8t.com!user Wed Dec 25 00:42:04 1996 Path: netcom.com!www.nntp.primenet.com!nntp.primenet.com!feed1.news.erols.com!insync!uunet!in2.uu.net!204.137.200.41!news.cyberg8t.com!host40.cyberg8t.com!user From: ereshkgl@cyberg8t.com (Ruth Gifford) Newsgroups: alt.fan.q,alt.startrek.creative,alt.startrek.creative.erotica Subject: NEW: Qonversation (P/Q) Date: Tue, 24 Dec 1996 21:03:58 -0800 Organization: GiffStein Lines: 338 Message-ID: NNTP-Posting-Host: host40.cyberg8t.com Xref: netcom.com alt.fan.q:6688 alt.startrek.creative:50527 alt.startrek.creative.erotica:5575 Hi folks. This was written on atara's computer 9for that matter it was also posted from atara's computer, Ruth being without a CPU these days) on Christmas Eve, while waiting for the cooking to begin. It was undoubtedly inspired by torch's (thanks!) recent dialog piece, but, of course, I'm writing about *my* favorite slash characters. These characters belong to Paramount, but surely during this season of good cheer, they won't mind that I borrowed them in order to write this little thing. Happy Holidays from Ruth! For atara with love on Christmas Eve. All this and I still managed to cut the shortbread in vaguely regular pieces. Qonversation by Ruth Gifford (c) 1996 (probably the last one with that date) "Trouble sleeping?" "Q!" "Bonjour, mon Capitaine!" "It's evening, Q; bonjour is incorrect." "What's an incorrect greeting between friends, hmm?" "We're *not* friends!" "You wound me, Jean-Luc!" "I wish." "What was that?" "You're omnipotent, couldn't you hear me?" "My you're testy this evening. Beverly stand you up again?" "What do you want Q?" "Nothing really. I was just in the neighborhood; thought I'd drop in. That sort of thing." "Splendid." "Thank you, I thought so." "First you can't hear me, now you fail to recognize sarcasm. Are you ill?" "Definitely testy. I bet I can make you laugh." "Well of course you can. Or is my definition of omnipotent different than yours?" "Dolt! I meant *without* my powers." "Q, I'm really not in the mood." "For what?" "For anything that involves you." "Beverly *did* stand you up, didn't she?" "No, she didn't. We're not seeing one another." "'Seeing each other . . .'" "You know, Q, for an omnipotent entity, your imitations are not very good." "Bitch, bitch, bitch . . . You do see each other; some mornings you have breakfast with her, and you see her every morning at the staff meeting. What you meant to say is that you're not having sex with her." "Whatever." "But if that's not what has you so grumpy, what is it?" "Maybe it's that I was *trying* to get to sleep and *you* showed up." "No, that's not it, that *can't* be it." "How foolish of me." "I'll excuse it this time. "Damned generous of you." "I still think I could get you to laugh without using my powers." "I doubt it." "Ah, but what if I can?" "Then you can have the satisfaction of winning." "Again." "So have you heard the one about the Trill, the Romulan, and the Klingon?" "'Everything was going *fine* until you forgot the gagh.'" "Where'd you hear that?" "Geordi." "Oh." What about the one about the Hawaiian King?" "'People who live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.' I heard that one from Cory, when I was a freshman at the Academy." "I suppose it's useless to mention what happened on Deep Space 69." "'The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has got to go.' I first heard that one from Will, but I've heard it far too many times lately. For some reason, Data thinks it's the funniest thing he's ever heard. Beverly and Geordi like to drop the punchline into conversation just to see him laugh." "Why? I don't think any of them are all that funny." "Ask Data." "Actually, I'm asking you. In spite of all my studying, there's so much I can't figure out about Humans." "Gotcha! Made you laugh; made you laugh!" "Jean-Luc?" "Jean-Luc?! Are you all right?" "Hand me a tissue, would you?" "Here. What was so funny?" "I just remembered something." "What?" "My friend Louis. When we were eight, we got into those types of contests all the time. I always lost. Louis' one of the funniest people I know." "Thank you, I guess I *was* in a bad mood." "Why?" "It's nothing." "I tell myself that all the time. Does it work for you?" "What do you mean?" "You're lonely Jean-Luc. Trust me, I know what it looks like." "Are you telling me . . .?" "No, of course not." "Why would you think that of me?" "Well, you just said . . ." "I was just making a . . ." "Why'd you do that?" "You looked like you needed it." "I did?" "Yes." "Oh." "Jean-Luc, how exactly did I look?" "Why?" "I want to know so that I can get you to do that again." "You *did* need it." "Well . . . oh . . ." "You like that?" "It's . . . rather odd." "That's not what I asked." "I'm not sure. Why don't you do it a few more times so that I can think about it." "'Show me more of this Human thing you calling kissing.'" "What?" "Sorry, that's a *very* old joke." "Jean-Luc?" "Yes Q?" "I think I *do* like it." "Why am I not surprised? How about this?" "And maybe this?" "You know Q, this would be easier if you didn't have any clothing on." "Definitely easier. See?" "Why does it feel like this?" "Are you trying to tell me that you've never . . .?" "Don't be absurd. Of course I have." "Mmm hmm . . . Then why are you wound up tight as a spring?" "Ohhhh . . ." "Jean-Luc . . .?" "Yes?" "Why . . . why did you stop?" "You want me to keep going?" "Yes!" "Like this?" "Or would you rather I did *this*?" "Ohhhh . . . ahhhh . . . Jean-Luc . . . that. Definitely that. Please . . . more of *that.* Ohhhh . . . yes . . ." "Oh!" "Sorry, did I hurt you?" "No, I . . . ah . . . just wasn't expecting that." "Should I stop, Q?" "Ah . . . no . . . just . . . no, Jean-Luc *don't* stop." "Well I'm going to have to stop for just a moment to get . . . oh, well I guess I don't. How convenient." "Ohh . . ." "Mmmm . . . God . . . you feel so good . . . ahhh . . ." "Oh yes . . . harder . . . so good . . ." "Yesss . . ." "Oh yeah . . . more, please . . . OH YES!" "Jean-Luc?" "Mmmm . . .?" "Why did we do that?" "I don't know." "Yes you do." "Because you've been chasing me for years and I finally got up the nerve to do something about it." "Q?" "Yes?" "You think maybe you could snap your fingers and take care of some of the . . .?" "Just a little cleaning service I'm only too happy to provide." "No, of course you can rest your head there. How long have you known?" "Since you had me trapped in that shuttle craft." "Oh." "Now what?" "Well . . . the way I figure, we're going to do it some more." "You want more? You want me?" "Silly god. I *need* you." The End -- Atara Stein ____ \ / \/ "Definitely not Swedish."--Lily, "Star Trek: First Contact"