From 106530.126@CompuServe.COM Tue Jan 14 13:39:56 1997 From: Ariana <106530.126@CompuServe.COM> Newsgroups: alt.fan.q,alt.startrek.creative Subject: The art of reproduction-P/Vash-R Date: 14 Jan 1997 21:39:56 GMT Organization: CompuServe, Inc. (1-800-689-0736) Lines: 204 Message-ID: <5bgufc$eg1$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Path: atheria.europa.com!news.rain.net!psgrain!news.uoregon.edu!hammer.uoregon.edu!arclight.uoregon.edu!news-xfer.netaxs.com!cam-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!news.bbnplanet.com!cpk-news-hub1.bbnplanet.com!newsfeed.internetmci.com!compuserve.com!news.production.compuserve.com!news Xref: atheria.europa.com alt.fan.q:5299 alt.startrek.creative:38655 Star Trek: The Next Generation The Art of Reproduction [NC-17] - Q/Vash by Ariana (106530.126@compuserve.com) Synopsis: The *real* reason Vash wanted to go exploring the galaxy with Q... and how she got what she wanted. Disclaimer: The Star Trek universe is the copyrighted property of Paramount, and borrowed solely for the use of this story. The story is copyright 1997 by Ariana (106530.126@compuserve.com). All rights reserved. Do not distribute without the present header and the author's written permission. I hereby give permission to archive this story on the alt.startrek.creative archive on aviary.share.net. Comment: OK, so this doesn't really tie in with The Q and the Grey... but hey, what fanfantasy about Q can? ------------------------------------------ "Oh, this is wonderful!" drawled the slender human as she looked around the room. "A Tkon dining-room!" "Living-room would be more precise," pointed out the entity who was standing behind her. Although it was actually an extra-dimensional entity, it looked very much like a human man. And to further the illusion, it was wearing the costume of a 1930s Terran explorer, complete with shorts and solar tope. "Thank you *so* much!" she enthused. "Glad to be of service," he said simply, looking around him with only limited interest. She crouched down and picked up an ancient bowl on the ground. "To say these things are 600,000 years old!" she exclaimed. "I could make a fortune with this stuff!" "489,354 Terran years old, actually. And I doubt a fortune could give you anything I can't give you." His tone was light and sardonic, but he allowed himself a tender look at her prostrated shape. "Well... It's all very well having a personal wizard to follow me around, but I wouldn't mind a bit of hard cash." She knelt down on all fours to have a look down a tube. "Wow! If that's what I think it is, I *will* be in for some hard cash!" "I don't know how anyone who lives in the Federation of Planets could possibly have developed such a taste for 'hard cash'." "Oh? I thought you were omniscient," she remarked innocently as she slipped her arm up to the shoulder into the tube. "I am. I just couldn't be bothered to find out why you're so obsessed with *money*." "Hey, you know what they say," she said, feeling around in the tube, "about money being better than sex... and a lot more difficult to get..." she started to yank on something, "...except if you happen to be travelling with certain omnipotent beings of my acquaintance..." the thing gave way and she pulled harder, "...then you can forget about ever getting any. Ugh, got it!" she exclaimed as she pulled a blackened arm and a long mottled object from the tube. "A Tkon fertility charm! This thing is worth a Galaxy-class starship!" "Great, do let's hurry and buy the Enterprise from Jean-Luc." "Hmm, that's quite a good idea. No, scratch that," she said as she polished the object, "let's just go and buy Jean-Luc, I could do with a real man around here." She moved her pale brown eyes to look at the entity, but any allusion was obviously lost on it. "It's good as new," she waved the object at him. "If you really wanted it good as new, I could just rejuvenate it. By the way, it was painted dark red when it was new," pointed out the entity, as if to demonstrate its omniscience. "That doesn't matter, the fact it's lost some of its colour just shows how old it is. These things are really rare. They were used during the age of Cimi, but by the age of Xora, the Tkon had abolished their use, deeming them uncivilised." "I won't ask why." "They were used by females as a substitute for sex," she said, sitting on the ground with her knees up to observe the object. "They originally thought regular use would make the females more fertile. Here, clean this up for me will you?" Her arm was clean, the bruises healed, and the charm was spotless, though still bereft of paint. She looked it over. If you didn't know what it was, it was a rather asexual-looking object, rather like a very smooth, rounded banana. The thought made her grin. "I think I might keep it for my own use," she remarked. "Since when do you *use* artefacts worth a Galaxy-class starship?" "Well, we were talking about using it to buy Jean-Luc, so why not just use it, full stop?" "I really have no idea." "Obviously not," she said as she struggled to get up. "So now what do we do?" he asked. "Any other sordid artefacts to retrieve?" Her eyes widened at the word 'sordid'. Maybe he did understand what she was talking about after all. She walked over to him until she was near enough to give him a view on her cleavage, and then lifted her thin sharp face to his. "Q, are you really stupid, or are you just pretending?" He seemed about to say something, but then decided not to, and turned on his heels instead. She anticipated the movement, however, and caught his hand just as he left. Of course, there was nothing to stop him from rematerialising elsewhere, but he chose not to. "You know, Q. We've been out here planet skipping for months now, and I'm beginning to get lonely," she said in her most sultry voice, her finger gently pulling at the collar of his shirt. She licked her lips sensually and her breath quickened as she moved nearer, pressing herself against his immobile body. She undid his top button and placed a kiss on the skin beneath it. Whether it was an illusion or a facsimile, it certainly felt warm and soft, and the feel of it under her lips emboldened her further. "You know, Vash," he said calmly. "I don't have any hormones, so there's really no point in this." "Oh come on, don't be such a Vulcan," she whined impatiently, continuing to undo his shirt. "Surely someone as powerful as you knows how to give a girl a good time?" "I don't see why you have to do this to *me*," he said, slightly irritated. "I can get you any man you want." "I don't want any man, I want you, you omnipotent dork," she breathed as she managed to release the front of his shirt. She ran her hands flat along the soft white skin she found there. Whatever he was doing to create this shape, he was doing it right. "Now, really, Vash, your hormones are dulling your wits if you're resorting to name-calling... and stop that! It's my body, and I'd be grateful if you could keep your grubby hands off it." She couldn't make head or tail of what he had just said, this skin was far too distracting. She tried to kiss his lips, but he was holding his head too high up for that, so, ignoring his desires (or lack thereof), she gently kissed and licked her way across the flesh at nose level, and even bent down a bit to nibble some more. "What's more, I'm not comestible," he pointed out. She was too busy with his chest to notice the self-satisfied grin on his face. She was, after all, confirming his irresistibility. He moved his arms just slightly when she struggled to push the shirt off. Of course, knowing her intent, he could have simply made it vanish, but then that would have meant actually participating in her little game. He hadn't yet made up his mind if he actually wanted to do this or not. Breathing heavily, she unfastened the top of her dress and let it fall down onto the floor. Though Q was capable of creating any amount of clothes for her, she was adamant that she wanted to wear her own, independently-acquired clothing, and this was an old dress she had plenty of experience removing. Pressing her breasts against his chest, she caressed his back and moved her hips gently against his. Q inspected her mind to study the turn of events she expected. As a Q, he thought her desired scenario involved an unnecessary amount of effort and embarrassment for very little result. Having probed Picard's mind for similar information a few months earlier, he was nonetheless interested to see that Vash didn't have that much imagination when it came to copulation. At least, that would give him a limited choice of scenarios to follow. Meanwhile, the woman had decided to attack his shorts. He looked down to see what she was doing. She looked up just at that moment and decided to seize her chance. She straightened up rapidly and, securing him into position with a hand on the back of his head, kissed him hard on the mouth. Q wondered why in the Universe humans slobbered into each other's mouths and pretended to enjoy it. On the other hand, he didn't want to upset Vash by rejecting her. Something in her mind made him think she wouldn't take kindly to that. Besides, pandering to her base mortal desires would still beat getting his head bitten off by his Q mate, which was all that awaited him in the Continuum. However, the thought occurred that he wasn't going to be able to do this with conscious thought alone. For one thing, he was obviously missing the point of Vash's activities, particularly in the region of his shorts. Since the body he was wearing was equipped with a human brain, he decided to connect it up and see what it would make of the situation. And that made a lot of difference. "Oh," he gasped, his arms folding around her. He nearly lost his balance as her lowest hand continued its stroking movements. Vash, in the meantime, couldn't believe her good luck. This was Q she was seducing. The formidable Q, arguably the only creature in the Universe (barring Beverly Crusher), who could make Picard shake in his boots. And he was about to have it off with her! "Oh, Q, I want you so much. Touch me, my darling, yes! I've wanted you for so long. Oh, yes!" Despite the waves of pleasure that were presently washing over him, Q hoped she would shut up. He wasn't sure he wanted to perform this procedure if she was going to provide a running commentary. So he kissed her as hard as he knew she wanted, and ran his hands over her buttocks, adding just a little spark to his touch, to remind her who she was with. She seemed to like that, so he continued, running just a little current of his natural self through her body. He wondered when and if she would actually want penetration and all its disgusting side-effects. Though, as far as bodily-fluids were concerned, she seemed to be producing plenty already. His kiss was wonderful, and then she felt a tremor of electricity run through her. It was a pleasant, if surprising experience, and made her even more anxious to move their activity to a higher level. Pulling her shorter frame up against his with her arms around his neck, she rubbed her hips against his more insistently. Her sudden movement put him off balance and they fell back onto a soft bed that had definitely not been there before. She didn't question this, nor the fact that her underwear and his clothes had all disappeared. All that mattered was that she was finally getting what she wanted. Q, meanwhile, was enjoying the unusual experience of having sex with something while being able to observe it. Joining with Q took every iota of his being, so he couldn't view it objectively. But using a body was entirely different. Part of him -- an increasingly large part of him -- was soaking up the sensations the body was providing, while another, retaining more of his higher consciousness as a Q, was observing the situation objectively... and telling him he had really fallen low if he thought engaging in pointless reproductive practices with a human was advancing his mission. It was also complaining that he was supposed to join with Q, in the Continuum, instead of some random mortal with raging hormones. The rest of him ignored it. The electricity was gone, but Vash was past caring by now as her cries grew louder and her nail dug into Q's arms. Q wasn't particularly pleased with this turn of events, but decided he would complain later, having far more important things at hand now. Just a bit longer, and then it would be finished, and he would have a word with her about ill-treating his carefully chosen body... He forgot to complain, and instead lay back on the bed he had created, a rather stupid grin on his face and a glazed look in his black eyes. All that for reproduction? No wonder there were so many humans in the galaxy.