The New Q Reviews: Biblio-Q (by Alara Rogers) The New Q Reviews is a review column of Q's appearances in books, comics, and fan fiction. It is entirely based on the opinion of the author; however, as the author has been writing since she was four, reads voraciously, and has had a few pieces professionally published, the author likes to think she knows what she's talking about. I am meaner to professional material than to fannish, but I'm very blunt on both. The New Q Reviews contain major spoilers, so be forewarned. Fan Fiction "Qubed": fanzine edited by Peg Kennedy and Bill Hupe, available from Bill Hupe at Footrot Flats, 916 Lamb Rd., Mason, MI 48854. Features: "I, Q" by Ann Goetz. While the Enterprise is on a mission to Organia, Q chooses to settle an old score with Guinan. The Organians strip him of his powers and lock him in a room with Troi to be counseled. (Not bad; has some continuity errors, but some good ideas as well.) "Q'Rious" by Arianwen P. F. Everett. A brief vignette on Q's relationship with Guinan. (Kind of sappy.) "Through the Eyes of a Child" by Janna P. Stockinger. The Enterprise has taken aboard a group of children who are not what they seem, and Q is not happy at all. (No thought whatsoever is given to making Q's motivations consistent here. He is being a bad guy solely for the purpose of being a bad guy.) "The Burdens of Command" by Jackie Cordova. Riker, Data, Geordi and Worf come back from an away mission acting goofy, and Q has something to do with it. (Pointless.) "Que Hue" by David Marks. Q offers to save humanity from the Borg if the Enterprise crew can pass his tests... (Not bad at all-- mixes goofy bits, really intense bits, and the best kind of ambiguous motivations for Q. Does have some out of character lines for all characters.) "Lions and Tigers and Q's, Oh My!" by April Lee Murray. A Labyrinth crossover in which Jareth, King of the Goblins, comes aboard and he and Q harass each other. (Amusing.) "Bargaining Point" by Todd Parrish. Vash bargains to be Q's companion for a year in exchange for an irresistable lure. (Ok.) (Overall review of zine: Could be a lot better, but has some interesting ideas.) "Quisine": fanzine edited by Annie Hamilton of the Q Appreciation Society. Also available from Bill Hupe. There are three volumes in print, and one out of print: QUISINE I: Out of print. Features: "More Maligned than Malignant pt. 1" by Annie Hamilton. A reasoned debate, using the episode "Encounter at Farpoint", as to why Q is more a good guy than a villain. (Has one utterly glaring error, due to the authors' misunderstanding of American accents, but otherwise excellent.) "Q-rio" by Catherine Stewart: A conflict between Geordi and a team of engineers is deemed by Guinan to be the work of Q. (Too short, and goes too far in the opposite direction, making Geordi look like a total moron.) "Q Sera Sera" by Douglas Cummings: Written in iambic pentameter, this is a parody in which Q casts Picard as the Scarlet Pimpernel. (Has some amusing bits, but I personally don't like parody all that much, and didn't find this all that funny.) QUISINE II: features "Over To Q" by Catherine Stewart. A strange tale told by Picard's fish, Livingston. (Very good. Very weird.) "Nothing Compares 2Q" by Rosanna Mully. Two Q interview Picard, trying to dig up dirt to prevent Q from getting a position within the leadership of the Continuum. But Picard finds that what the Q consider to be "dirt" is very different from the human notion... (Excellent and chilling. This is not a nice Continuum.) "Q-Beard" by Catherine Stewart. Pirates take over the Enterprise with Q's help. Yo-ho-ho. (I found this one rather pointless, though well-written.) "More Maligned than Malignant pt. 2" by Annie Hamilton. A reasoned debate, using the episode "Hide and Q", as to why Q is more a good guy than a villain. (Very thought-provoking.) (Overall: A very good zine, but its price is a little steep for what you get-- it's $12 for a half-size zine. If that's in your price range, it's worth having.) QUISINE III: features "Question and Answer with John de Lancie": An interview at a con in Australia. (Has some *really* dumb questions, but JDL is always a delight to read.) "Q and Cry" by Rosanna Mully. Riker's new girlfriend is not what she seems, as Q seems to be trying to tell Picard... (Not up to the standards of the author's "Nothing Compares", but amusing and decently thought-out.) "Equality Part I" by Max Query. A Red Dwarf crossover. Picard finds that he has taken Rimmer's place. Humor. (This part is less funny than the next, and really probably works best for Red Dwarf fans.) QUISINE IV: features "DraQla" by Cathy Stewart and Douglas Cummings. When Guinan is attacked by a vampire, Q shows up as Van Q to do some vampire hunting. But things are more serious than they seem. Humor (mostly.) (I had some problems with the premise, which seems to make Q a bit too weak, but if you're willing to suspend a bit of disbelief, it's decently written and funny, with some genuinely insightful bits.) "Over To Q, Too" by Cathy Stewart. The saga of Livingston the fish continues. (Even weirder. One must read the previous "Over to Q" to get this.) "Witness for the Prose-Q-Tion" by Marie Logan. Yet another speculation on the origin of Guinan's relationship with Q, this one darker than most. (By darker, actually I mean more evenly dark-- Guinan is not the heroic good guy and Q is not the evil villain. Very good.) "Un-Q-Lar Maneuvers" by Cathy Stewart. Q asks Picard to pretend to be the uncle of a small boy that the Continuum has targeted for destruction. (Excellent. One of my favorite Q stories.) "The Apprentice's Sorceror" by Marie Logan. When a race puts Picard on trial for the death of the Crystalline Entity, Q shows up and tells outrageous lies to get him off the hook... at least, Picard *hopes* they're lies. (Rather funny.) "Equality Pt. II" by Max Query. A senile and quite mad Q is destroying the universe, and Picard and the crew of the Red Dwarf are the only ones who can stop him. (The universe is doomed...) (Funny even if you don't know Red Dwarf, though an affinity for British humor is required.) "More Maligned than Malignant pt. III" by Annie Hamilton continues the debate, putting forth the notion that Q is a teacher by using "Q Who." (This more or less caused me to rethink my entire positon on Q. Anyone who seriously thinks about things like is Q a villain or not should read this.) Novel-Length Zines: "Resurrection" by Richard van Frank. While Wesley Crusher joins the Time Police, a resurrected Tasha Yar is left in charge of the Enterprise when Q flings it across space to meet another Borg threat. Available from Bill Hupe. (Not very good and uses Q as a plot device.) "I, Q" by Rod Summers. Gary Mitchell and Q have it out. Available from Bill Hupe. (Not very good and portrays Q as pointlessly villainous.) "Perchance to Dream" Out of print. Reviewed by Mercutio. {Note from 2005: The author's name and publisher have been redacted from this review, on request of the author.} Since this author has got to be one of the worst authors ever published in a zine, it would seem safe to say that this is an awful story. Q makes Data's dreams of Yar real. The dreams are set in fantasy worlds, with kings and knights and questing and so forth. Q wants Yar for himself, and Data wins her over, only to see her really die. As if. First of all, Yar is *not* sappy and dreaming of beautiful gowns, and second of all, if Q is this obsessed with getting someone to love him, I'll shoot him myself. Puh-lease. Single Stories (available in fanzines): "1+1 = Q" by Kathy Kipper. Picard relives the torments of a long-dead species that may have had something to do with the origins of the Q. In "Everything But The Kitchen Sink" #6, edited by MarJenAl Press, RFD1 Box 250, Walker, WV, 26180. (Very good up until the very end, in which Picard shows no emotional understanding of Q despite his recent experiences.) "A Puzzling Reflection" by Chris Pourteau. A Classic Trek mystery in which it's implied heavily that Trelane will grow up to be Q. In "Starfleet Mysteries", ed. by Edward McFadden, available from Bill Hupe. (The "Q" involvement is minimal, but this is a good TOS story.) "Ah, a Riker joke!" by Lisa White, reviewed by Mercutio. In "Cygnet". Riker plays practical jokes on the Enterprise members, for the purposes of teaching Data about humor. Strange, but I hadn't thought of Riker having a sense of humor. Q isn't exactly in it -- since what actually happens is that Riker dresses up, pretending to be Q in order to pull a joke on the crew, but it's vaguely amusing nonetheless. "Bad EttiQuette" by Denise Stovin. Yet another Q and Guinan story. This is fairly unequivocal about making Q the villain, though it's from his POV. In Bad Guys Finish First, edited by Rhonda Stovin, available from Bill Hupe. (Well-written, and I could buy what Q does except that I don't believe he was responsible for the Borg destroying Guinan's homeworld.) "Behind the Q Ball" by Barbara Robertson. Reviewed by Mercutio. In "Grip 30". Q and Picard play pool. Pretty funny, actually, although definitely on the thin side when it comes to plot. "Bleeding Heart" by CarolMel Ambassador and Apryl Showers. Q plays a vicious mind game with Picard by impersonating Jack Crusher. In Tantalus #5, edited by Ann Zewen of Orion Press. (Gratuitously nasty. I didn't buy it.) "C'est La Q" by Elena Bond. Reviewed by Mercutio. In "Make It So 8". A Riker/Q story, in which a female Q appears and starts off promisingly by giving everyone their heart's desire -- in suitably twisted form, of course. Unfortunately, it then proceeds to get sappy and stupid. "Encounter at DQ: The Fast-Food Asteroid" by Laura Osgood. Reviewed by Mercutio. In "Cygnet", published by LOW Enterprises. Available from Lisa White, 7807 White Cliff Terrace, Rockville, MD 20855. A script style parody where the Enterprise visits Dairy Queen. Wesley saves the day, after Q captures them all and begins to defeat the crew by an overwhelming display of silliness. Trivial, but amusing. "Evol-Q-Tion" by Dayton Ward. Crossover with Planet of the Apes. Q mucks with the course of human history and things go seriously weird. In Side-Trekked #1, edited by Skylarking Digest, available from Bill Hupe. (Goes for action-adventure rather than character-driven, and so misses out on some great chances. Not terrible, but I have no plans to reread it.) "Fireside Chat" by Margaret Basta. After "Generations", Q drops in to chat with Picard. In "Involution 8", edited by Orion Press. (One of the few non-adult, non-Internet stories to recognize that after "Tapestry" and "All Good Things", Q and Picard are *not* total antagonists anymore. Pretty good.) "Forevermore" by Chris Trull and Dona Brady. The Borg attack a planet as the Enterprise returns their ambassadorial party. Oh, and Guinan's in a coma and Q's sent Picard to rescue her on the pretext that Q wants to learn about love. In "To The Farthest Reaches of Space, #3". (The problem here is that the authors couldn't decide whether to write a Q character story or a Riker-Borg action story. Striving for both, they succeed at neither.) "Gee Q" reviewed by Mercutio. In "Cygnet". This is actually artwork, which parodies the cover of GQ, but heck, it's better than most of the stories I've read elsewhere. Funnier anyway, and definitely better looking. "Guinan's View of Q" by Margaret Connor. Poem. Reviewed by Mercutio. In "Make It So 18", published by ScoTpress, available from Bill Hupe. A not particularly good poem which says nothing new about the relationship between Guinan and Q. The only distinction of this zine is that the printing and proofreading were handled by Janet Quarton. (The person who Q was supposedly named after.) "Lady and the Q" by Ari Everrett. A human Q is placed with Vash by the Continuum. In "Beyond the Farthest Star 7". (An interesting piece, although I thought Q gave in waaaay too easily to the lure of sex. Tasty but unsatisfying.) "Lost" and "Found" (2 stories, one sequel to the other) by Dorothy Johnston. Out of boredom, Q transports members of the Enterprise crew to various points in the past, and then is punished by being imprisoned by the Continuum. Five years later, when he gets out, he needs the remaining crewmembers' help to find the lost ones. In "The Farthest Frontier #3", ed. Kathryn Agel, 9-11 Ayres Court, Bayonne, NJ 07002-3510. (Aside from the annoying nature of a story starting with Q being bored, these are actually very good.) "MisQued" by Cyndi Bayless Overstreet. When Q shows up to repay a debt to Data and Data rejects him, Q locks him on the holodeck with a very odd woman. In Eridani #16, edited by Randall Landers of Orion Press. (About Data, not Q. Cyndi Bayless Overstreet is an excellent writer, and Q's dialogue is well-done, but there's somehow something missing and I can't quite figure what.) "One Last Time" by Lindsay Tice. Q brings the crew of the first Enterprise to the Enterprise-D, and then collapses before he can return them. In "Tales from Ten-Forward", ed. Margo Kay, available from Bill Hupe. (Seems to misunderstand the concept of "omnipotent", like many stories featuring Q getting hurt, but hey, I have a soft spot in my heart for that. Not a bad little story.) "One Wish" by Ulrike Schaefer. Q sends Janeway back to Earth alone. Where does her heart lie? Janeway/Chakotay/Mark. In "Delta Quadrant 5". (Q ex machina, for the purpose of creating Janeway angst. Uh-uh. I don't think so.) "PsyQLogy" by Susan Bredon-Smith. After Wolf 359, Q arrives to torment, or perhaps assist, Picard. In "Eridani 23", Orion Press. (I thought this would be yet another "Q is just an asshole" story, but it's not. Despite apparent editorial bias against Q, one *can* read his actions as benevolent, or not, as one chooses.) "Q! Again?" by Beth Ketterer. Q transports Picard to a low-tech planet, where he gets into trouble. In "Grip 42". (Any story in which Q's sole motivation is boredom is usually either bad or boring. This one is boring.) "Q-uenella" by Kate Stone. Q and another Q bet on whether Picard would sacrifice Starfleet for love. The results are surprising to all. A Picard/Riker tale. In "Heroes III". (The Q sections are amusing, but the romance seems like it belongs in another story.) "Q's a Crowd" by Cindy Turner. Q is trying to impress a female Q with the Enterprise crew, and not having much luck. In "Skylarking Digest 1991 Annual", ed. Lois Balzer, PO Box 61007, 571 W. 57th Ave, Vancouver, BC V6P 6S5 CANADA (This is actually pretty funny.) "Q's Ruse" by Pete Kallash. Reviewed by Mercutio. In "Grip 41", edited by Roberta Rogow, available from Bill Hupe. Q stages Picard's death to see how everyone will take it. A long and pointless story. "Q Tips" reviewed by Mercutio. In "Cygnet". An advice column, purportedly written by Q. Scathing, although debatable as to whether it's scathingly funny. "Rendez-Q" by J. Karen Huff. Q tries to pay Riker and Crusher back for helping him in Deja Q by giving them a romantic vacation... together. In Federation Standard #2, edited by Michelle Benoit, available from Bill Hupe. (Q's not this dense.) "Room with a Q" by Mo Boldock. A Man From U.N.C.L.E./ST:VOY crossover. Q seeks out Napoleon Solo for advice on how to woo women. In "Remote Control, Issue 9". (Hysterically, deadpan funny.) "SoliloQuy" by Sherry Hopper. Q soliloquizes about humanity and his curious love/hate relationship with it. In Beyond Farpoint #1, edited by Madeline Hill, available from Bill Hupe. (Has some cute bits, but really says nothing new.) "Taming of the Q" by Rachel Brody and Melissa Beattie. Seaquest/Trek. Q exposes the SeaQuest crew to their fears for the purpose of bringing Lucas and Bridger together. In "Of Dreams & Schemes #12" (Q ex machina, with a lot of angst inflicted for no reason.) "Thank You" by John Vester. A parody in which the cast of TOS come aboard the Enterprise-D and behave like exaggerated versions of themselves. The culprit turns out to be Q. In "Tales from Ten-Forward." (This was reasonably amusing.) "The Good, The Bad and the Q" by Will O'Donnell. Everyone decides to go amuse themselves with a Western on the holodeck. Unfortunately, Q is also bored, and takes the opportunity to kidnap them all into a real Western. In Hailing Frequencies #2, edited by Doug Giffin, available from Bill Hupe. (Some funny lines, but mostly disjointed and pointless.) "The Q Is Silent" by E. Brooks. Riker is dying of a terminal illness, and an uncharacteristically subdued Q comes to offer him help. Recommended. In Tantalus #1, edited by Randall Landers of Orion Press. Addresses given below. (I like this quite a lot. It's not about Q, it's about Riker, but it gives an interesting view of Q as someone who prefers to be thought of as more of a hardass than he actually is.) "The Stranded Heart" by Joelle Augustine. Q and Vash read Picard's diary and decide to play matchmaker for him and Crusher by stranding them together. In "Involution 8". (I can't rate this story fairly, as I just don't like P/C). "The Stuff of Legend" by Jeannie Marie. Reviewed by Mercutio. Legend/Janos. Bartok decides to move to Boston to spare Pratt his attentions. But what happens when Pratt returns his feelings? In "A Frisky Out Of Water". (The details are howlingly silly, esp. the hanky dance.) "The Treaty of Q" by Kira Bacal and Vance Foster Serchuk. Q interferes as the Enterprise unsuccessfully tries to negotiate a treaty with the Ferengi. In "Remote Control, Issue 8". (The story is trying to be funny. It should try harder.) "Truth's First Time" by Christine Davenport. Picard/Crusher. Q shows Picard and Crusher their future. In "Asbestos Envelope 4". (Q ex machina at its worst. I can't imagine why Q would care, and apparently, the author can't either.) "Where the Winds of Chaos Roar" by Brenda Schaffer. Q makes Picard relive all the worst memories of his life to answer the question: "why are you here?" In Beyond Farpoint #3. (Though technically well-written, this story didn't convince me that the guy talking was Q-- Q seemed to demonstrate no understanding of why humans take risks, which seems out of character to me.) "Yesterday, Today" by Elizabeth Abell. Q sends Picard back in time for a bittersweet look at Picard's childhood. In Beyond Farpoint #1. (About Picard, not Q. But not bad.) Single Stories: On the Net at the Net addresses listed below. A Christmas Q-All by Craig Hansen. TNG, Picard, Jack Crusher, Vash, Q. A series of visitors appear in Picard's life for an unspecified purpose. Loosely modeled on "A Christmas Carol". (I liked this up until the ending, which I found stupid, but deeply religious people might like it.) "A Fate Worse Than Death" by JJ Arrow. Alternate to Deja Q in which Q is turned into Homer. Humorous. (It was funny and very short.) "A la Q" by Julia Kosatka and Kellie Matthews-Simmons. Q sends Picard back to the 20th century, where Picard finds work in a diner. (Not bad, but is mostly about Picard, with only a few Q appearances.) "All's Fair In Q and War" by Mercutio. Sequel to "Q-Stume Party." Q and Deshanya play Capture the Flag for control of the Enterprise. (This is also very funny.) "A Qmas Carol" by Mercutio. Q appears to Picard (Scrooge), and re-enacts the Dickens tale. Astionic Apprehensions by Joan Ging. The Astions threaten the ship, killing Q. The entire thing turns out to be Q's doing. (Amazingly pointless.) "A Tale Of Two Q" by The Avid AOL P&C Posters. Picard reveals that Jack was really a Q. "Barclay And Q" by Sandra Lee. Honestly, I don't remember if this *had* a plot. "Beyond Nature" by Gabriele Preusse. Troi and Crusher complain that they never get to go on away missions; Q sends them into Earth's past where they are taken for witches. (Pretty good, though the archive copy is truncated.) "Blank" by JJ Arrow. Q is robbed of his personality by another Q, and restored to it only by the intervention of Janeway. (Mercutio: "Moving." (Alara: "Chilling, but I found the situation kind of unrealistic.") "Cruise With The Vampire" by Mercutio. Vampires, humorous. (I thought it was pretty funny.) "Dance Of Chameleon And Mirror" by Alara Rogers. The reason for Q and Guinan's animosity is revealed. (Mercutio: An excellent tale of how the feud between Q and Guinan began. It would have been even more fun if Guinan had taken Q up on his offer.) "Death In The Devils Acre" by Geraldine Stokes. DS9, Q, Garak, Bashir, et al. Sequel to Q's Game. (Mercutio: An intriguing story, but almost impossible to follow.) "Qlue" by Sandra Guzdek. Q puts Picard into a game of Clue where the participants are the unwitting crew of the Enterprise. Humor. (Funny until the ending, when it gets stupid.) "Eliza Q'Little" by 2Bug@aol.com. A retelling of My Fair Lady, where Q deposits Tasha in Russia to help her learn to be a lady. (Essentially a "Q-is-a-jerk" story, though he's an entertaining jerk and Yar is a great deal of fun to watch. Pretty good.) "Even Q Was There" by CptBPicard. TNG, unfinished funeral montage. (I did not understand anything that was going on in this story.) "Eye Of The Beholder" by John C. Chapman Jr. TNG/VOY/DS9/Star Wars/Battlestar Galactica. Interstellar adventure. "Field Of Dreams" by Chrisopher Walck. TNG/DS9, Q creates trouble for just about everyone, no resolution. "Gateway" by Karmin St. Jean. The Enterprise visits the Continuum. "Home: by Kary Haddad. TNG, Q returns Picard to the Nexus. "Homeward Q", by Mercutio. Voy/QL, Sam leaps into Q, humorous. "InQuisition" by Mercutio. DS9, Garak. Garak thwarts Bajor, Cardassia, and Q. Humorous. "Dilemma" by Alara Rogers (yes, that's me). The real story behind the scenes of True Q. (Mercutio: I didn't like the premise of this one, because I tend to have a different view of why Q does what he does in True Q, but definitely a compelling argument for what his motives might have been.) "Q and A" by Douglas Geiger. A novel-sized story involving Q, the Borg, time travel, the old Enterprise, and a whole lot else. (Unrealistic as hell, but has a few good ideas.) "The Generation Gap" by Ryan Nicol. Old and New Trek meet; there's a war in heaven, and the Continuum lost... (Eerie, surreal, has a lot of unrealized potential, but doesn't seem to have a proper ending.) "Cock-A-Doodle-Q" by Aron Adelman: A rather mean-spirited parody in which Q is turned into a chicken, terrorized and finally eaten by Spot. (I *hated* this story; it's mean-spirited and unfunny.) "New York Yank-Qs" by Douglas Fowler. When Worf's son Alexander expresses a desire to play baseball against the greats of history, Q obliges... (Mildly Amusing.) "SmartTrek 2: The Wrath of Q" by Ken Kaufman. Q meets Maxwell Smart. In the parody directory. (Alara: Cute but nothing more than that.) (Mercutio: Wonderfully funny. I loved the addition of Maxwell Smart to the Enterprise, and especially liked the way the bits specific to "Get Smart" were kept, but updated to make them applicable to Star Trek.) "Kobiashi-Q" by WildCard. When Wesley brags about his showing on the Kobiyashi Maru, Q dumps him onto the real Enterprise for the no-win scenario. (Ditto above.) "Another Turn of the Q" by JoAnne Soper-Cook. A short, mildly romantic story about a psychiatric nurse on the Enterprise getting to see another side of Q. (I liked this, but it's far from great literature.) "Mithrais Takes A Q" by JoAnne Soper-Cook. A sequel to "Another Turn," in which Anna tries to come to terms with her feelings for Q. (This works a bit better than the previous story.) "Quantum Q" by JoAnne Soper-Cook. A short, mildly romantic story about an Enterprise crewwoman named Emily Tarrant, who apparently is friends, and perhaps more than that, with Q. (Emily as a heroine seems more Q's type than Anna-- she's witty and appreciates his practical jokes-- but there's also more ambiguity in their relationship. They seem to be friends who might become more, rather than lovers.) "Without Missing A Q" by JoAnne Soper-Cook. Another story about Emily Tarrant. It's unclear where this fits in continuity. (This one brings out the dangers inherent in "being friends" with Q a bit better than the others.) "There'll Never Be Another Q" by JoAnne Soper-Cook. In an attempt to teach her how to use her nascent psi powers, Q takes Emily Tarrant to the Continuum-- a mistake he lives to regret... (I don't like the characterization of Picard in this, but any story that beats up on Q can't be all bad... :-)) "The Qualm Before The Storm" by Bonnie Holmyard. Another romance story, but this one darker, more passionate and a lot nastier in places. (If you can get past the fact that the author's name is the same as the main character, because it was written for a persona group type of thing, this is probably one of the best Q romance stories, precisely because it doesn't lose sight of his capacity for malice.) "We've Got to Meet Stopping Like This" by Bonnie Holmyard and Walter George. A sequel to "Qualm". Q takes his revenge on Bonnie and embroils two starships in a bizarre time-warp. (An intriguing view of Q, and a story that tries to make Q both sympathetic and frightening. I liked it.) "The Morality Play" by Alara Rogers. Short tale in which Q agonizes over the Borg's destruction of humanity. (Mercutio: I liked the view of the Continuum presented in this story, as well as Q's decision. It seemed very real and appropriate.) "Mourning: Reprise" by Allison Martens. Picard tries to deal with Crusher's apparent death. (Mercutio: This is actually a P/C story in which Q appears as a sounding board, more or less. But it's a very well-written P/C story.) "Open SesaQ" by Mercutio. Q arrives as a genie to offer three wishes to Picard, who is recovering from his experience with the Borg. Humorous. "Python Trek I" by Ruth Gifford. TNG/Monty Python, humorous, not actually about Q, although he makes an appearance. (Mercutio: The best of the Python Trek series.) "Q-22" by Lt. Curtis. VOY, Q. Script type story, pointless. "Q-Ball" by Charles Larson. Picard wins a pool game to save the ship. (Mercutio: Horribly pointless.) "Q-Cut" by Joe Rossi. VOY/TNG, Q appears to Janeway and tells her she can go to the Enterprise or stay lost in the Delta Quadrant with her crew. (Mercutio: Pointless.) "Q-napped" by Karmin St. Jean. Q's child is kidnapped. "Q-Struck" by Atara Stein. Picard and Q attempt to work out their relationship. (An excellent and lengthy novel.) "Q-stume Party" by Mercutio. Introduces Elaine Deshanya, a heroine whose taste for the holodeck would make her Barclayesque, if it wasn't that she can stand up to Q. Humorous. "Q Night Before Xmas" (TNG, poem, humorous.) "10 Q Ideas We Passed Up," by Alara Rogers and unknown assistant. Parody. "Super Wesley Dates Amanda the Q", by Alara Rogers. Parody. "A Q In The Hand", Alara Rogers. Blurb paragraph for an imaginary Q/Riker story. (Mercutio: I wanna see the story!) "Q Plus Q" by Paul. (Mercutio: An intriguing set-up, but unfortunately, unfinished.) "Q's Game" by Geraldine Stokes. DS9, Q, Garak, Bashir, et al. An intriguing game has been invented, but what are the real stakes? (Mercutio: I liked the idea of the game, but lost sight of the point of this story.) "Q's Pawn" by Mercutio. Another Deshanya story, in which Q plays chess with the crew. Humorous. (Not as good as the other Deshanya stories.) "Picnic A La Q" by Mercutio. TNG, Q, Picard. Q and Picard spend the afternoon having a picnic. "Testament" by Alara Rogers. VOY, Q, Q3. Q and Quinn discuss Quinn's decision to commit suicide. "Test Questions" by Mandy Gordon. Some musings on what Q wants from Picard and humanity in general. "The December Story" by Matthew C. Steenberg, Joan Testin, Mike Jackson, Felix Clauss, Melissa Walker, Diavolessa, Keri L. Prior, Monica Patitucci, Beth Meenaghan, Cindy Neidt, Beryl Dahl, Melissa Wilson, Alexandra Pirotte, Fred L. Miller Jr, Toby Preminger, and J.B.Larkins. TNG/Picard, Q, Apollo. The Enterprise encounters Apollo, and must foil him. Q appears as a plot device. (Mercutio: Any story with Q merely as a plot device has its problems to begin with. Apollo is an interesting character, but I didn't care for the story.) "The Captain's Loss" by Jaeti. VOY, Janeway, Amanda Rogers, Tuvok. Amanda consoles Janeway after Tuvok's death. "The Captain's Nightmare" by Jaeti. Amanda and Q decide to have some fun with the Voyager crew by casting them as characters from Midsummer Night's Dream. But when Janeway, as Titania, realizes she's going to have to have sex with Neelix, as Bottom, it stops being nearly so entertaining. "The Five Enterprises" by Kenneth A. Lowenberg. TOS/TNG/DS9, The Earth is destroyed by an unknown enemy and Q must mobilize forces to save it. (Mercutio: Quite long, but an engaging adventure story nonetheless.) "The Game Board" by Scott Gastineau. VOY, Janeway defeats Q and Q2 in a game, humorous. (Mercutio: One of my favorite Q/Voyager stories. I loved the twist at the end.) "The Good, The Bad And The Microbrains" by Charlie James. TNG, Data, Q. Unfinished. Adventures in the multiverse. "The Link" by AOL Picard and Crusher Posters. TNG, Q, P/C. Q creates a mental link between Picard and Crusher, which helps them as Nausicaans attack. (Mercutio: The reason for Q's presence in this story is unclear, and the P/C plot not well-done.) "The Man They Call Q", by Bonnie Holmyard. TNG, poem based on 'The Cat in the Hat', humorous. "The Only Q Who Fell To PropinQuity" by Ruth Gifford. A parody of "Only Human", "PropinQuity", and "The Q Who Fell to Earth". "Only Human" (incomplete) by Alara Rogers. An alternate universe based on Deja Q; Q lost his powers three years ago, and never got them back. (Mercutio: Excellent. Q loses his powers and must make his way as a physicist.) "Serpent in Silence" by Rory McManus. While Q is visiting, the Enterprise encounters Nagilum again (from "Where Silence Has Lease"), but this time he wants to test Q... to destruction... (A much better idea than execution. Q is childish and pointlessly nasty in places, so in the parts where one is supposed to sympathize with him it is difficult to.) "Who Q? Where Q?" by Stephen Ratliff. Part of a universe where a little girl named Marissa has been adopted by Picard and become an ensign on the Enterprise. When Q carries off all the adult members of the crew to a medieval scenario, Marissa must take on adult responsibilities and organize her Kids' Crew to run the ship and some negotiations. (Can we say MARY SUE????) "Nexus" by Virginia Boehm. A sequel to Generations, in which it turns out that history has been altered, Captain Kirk should not have died, and Picard, Spock and Scotty are challenged by Q to solve the mystery of the Nexus. (Mostly pretty good-- is a little disjointed, though, and there's a few scenes that make Q look stupid.) "Trek Wars" by Matthew R. Austin. A Star Trek/Star Wars crossover in which the temporal anomaly caused by Trelane in Q-Squared gets out of hand, sucking a future Enterprise under Riker's command into the Star Wars universe. Q recruits Admiral Picard, Vash and an assortment of mercenaries to help save the universe. (This story suffers from formatting problems and is technically not great, but it has a lot of great ideas that make up for the problems.) "Happy Birthday To You, From Q" by Ronald Orenstein: In order to purportedly give Picard a "lesson in humility" as a birthday present, Q teleports a little boy from our universe, where Star Trek is fictional, to the Enterprise. Not a parody, but definitely Star Trek Lite. (Cute, and of course it turns out Q's motives are benevolent in the end. But really cute is the best you can say.) "A Different Trek" by Louis Hall: As part of an elaborate test, Q subverts the rules that he can no longer test humanity by summoning up a bunch of people from our universe, where Star Trek is fictional, to the old Enterprise destroyed by Kirk, and plans to pit them against the Borg. He tells Picard, who attempts to locate them to save them. (I've got a problem with people putting themselves into stories, and this is another example of that. Q, however, is not entirely pointlessly vicious-- he seems to have a soft spot for his victims, and is not being entirely heartless to them. Q2, however, is just too damn mellow.) "Civ Story" by Michael Arrante: In order to teach the crew a lesson in the interconnectedness of things, Q takes Picard, Worf, Riker and Data back in time to various critical points in history. (This story was written for somebody's class, and *really* suffers from "Q is bored, what can he do today? I know! He'll be a plot device" syndrome. But it has some funny lines.) "Time For A Change" by Les Bonser. TNG/X-Files. Unfinished. "Visit To The Weirdest Planet: Earth" by Mercutio. VOY, Q. Voyager crew swaps places with actors; crew accuses JdL of being Q, humorous. "VOY:The Next Generation" by Karmin St. Jean. VOY. Q's daughter is commanding Voyager, and all the other crew are children of the original crew. Unfinished. (Mercutio: If the name "Q-Anna Janeway" doesn't revolt you on first hearing it, then you'll probably like this story.) Sex Stories on the Net "Oh, Captain, My Captain!" by Christine Faltz. Centered around Picard's relationship with a half-Q named Ztlaf, Q's daughter. Q himself does not get laid. (As stories that are basically excuses for sex go, this isn't bad; there were points when I was eagerly awaiting the next chapter to see developments in the *plot*, rare for such stuff!) "Q Is Life" by Bonnie Holmyard. Tangentially related to her "Qualm" series, above. Simply a vignette about sex. "Life's a Beach" by Bonnie Holmyard. Ditto. (Had some language I can do without in a sex story, and was quite unabashedly without plot, but not bad for what it is.) "Qriosity" by Patricia Ann La Ferrara. At Amanda's instigation, Q takes a closer look at Beverly Crusher and decides he wants her. He offers her her greatest desire in exchange for a night with him. (This really shouldn't have been a sex story, as the main plot-- Beverly gets a chance to say goodbye to her dead father-- is sweet; the sex could have been done without. I still don't buy the premise, but it's not too bad.) "Inner Truths" by Christine Faltz. The Enterprise make first contact with a species that considers heterosexuality for non-procreative purposes disgusting and immoral. In the aftermath of the meeting, Picard is forced to face some facts regarding his *true* feelings for the omnipotent entity that's plagued his life... (The setup story is very preachy, although this being Star Trek, that's not such a terrible thing. The part at the end has a fascinating alternate viewpoint on *why* Picard is so hostile to Q...) "Embraceable Q" by Janet Coleman. An Enterprise officer named Belinda has been researching Q for some time, and now finds herself terribly attracted to him, and to Deanna Troi. (Interesting; has some amusing twists. I personally prefer the author's characters to be better developed, but this one at least is not sappy.) "She Moves In Mysterious Ways" by Atara Stein. Picard returns to the Academy to teach after "Generations", and meets a fellow professor, the intriguing Catherine Vye. (And yes, Q is in it, I promise.) (Excellent characterization and writing, and in my opinion *very* hot. One of the best of its kind.) "Familiar Strangers" by Alara Rogers. Incomplete. On the sexist and totalitarian planet of Metraxia, Picard meets an enslaved political dissident who is not what she seems. (Mercutio: This would be a truly great story if it were finished. As it is, it's a good set-up, and the sex is both erotic and believable.) "Be Q-ful What You Ask For" by Mercutio. VOY, J/Q. Q shows up to court Janeway as Voyager is going through a crisis. She doesn't take him seriously, but agrees to save her ship. Humorous. "Between A Rock And A Hard Q" by Ruth Gifford, addendum to "My Fair Jeanne." TNG, Q/P. Picard dreams that he's Andromeda in the Greek myth, and that Q is Perseus, rescuing him. (Mercutio: I think Picard needs some serious psycho-therapy.) "Brothers In Deed" by Jeanita Danzik. TNG, Q/Lestat/P. Sequel to "One Night in the Captain's Quarters", vampires. (Mercutio: Lestat's character is entertainingly done, and interacts well with Q, but I had problems with the sexual inter- relationships of the threesome.) "Camping Holiday" by Ruth Gifford. TNG, Q/P. An alternate history to Q-Struck. (Mercutio: Sappy and romantic.) "Crippling Emotions" by BONCPC. TNG, P/C. Q shows Amanda more of Picard and Crusher's relationship to prove that humans are crippled by their emotions, but the captain seduces the doctor instead. "EsQPade" by Brenda Antrim. DS9, m/f, Bashir/Q, Dax/Q. Q forces Bashir to relive his past as a prositute. (The concept of being stalked by an omnipotent being is delightfully scary, but I really can't see Bashir's past being so sordid.) "Evil Gynecologist" by Christine Faltz. TNG/Hand That Rocks The Cradle, m/f, Q(fem)/Dr. Mott. Humor. "His Beloved Pet" by Atara Stein and Ruth Gifford. TNG, Q/P, h/c, b&d. Q seduces Picard to win a bet, and they end up falling in love, with near disastrous results. (Mercutio: Incredibly hot sex, and the relationship between Picard and Q is heart-breaking when it falls apart. However, the ending's rather abrupt.) "Into That Good Night" by Terri Stevens. Q is dying, and turns to Dr. Crusher to spend his last moments. (Mercutio: You'd think he'd have better taste in women.) "Object Lessons" by Jeanita Danzik. TNG, Q/P, B&D. Q brands Picard. "One Night In The Captain's Quarters" by Jeanita Danzik. Domination games. (Mercutio: A very well-done story between Q and Picard.) "Miss Q" by Karmin St. Jean. Q loses his powers and becomes female. "Mission In-Q-Sibble" by Lori Spier. VOY, Q/Paris, implied Q/Kim. Q tortures Paris and Kim as part of an experiment in loyalty, but finds Paris more willing than he expected. (Mercutio: I like Paris' attitude throughout this, but the point of Q doing this to him is missing, which spoiled the story for me.) "My Fair Jeanne" by Ruth Gifford. TNG, Q/Picard. Q turns Picard into a woman. (Mercutio: This is the first sex-swapping story I've seen in which Q changed *Picard*'s sex. I loved the idea.) "Pet's Day Out" by Emily Gifford. TNG, Q/P. Parody of "His Beloved Pet". Q takes his pet, Picard, shopping. (Mercutio: Somewhat amusing, but disjointed.) "Picard-Q Backrub Fantasy" by Atara Stein. (Mercutio: One of my all time favorites. Sets a standard for backrubs in other stories that's difficult to meet.) "PropinQuity" by Mercutio. An official Only Human Spinoff Alternate. On Starbase 56, the human Q meets the extremely persistent programmer Naomi Allen. Very long. "Q-pid 2" by Christopher Swanson. TNG, Q, Wesley/furry, Troi/Riker, C/Troi. Q demands that Crusher sleep with a woman as his price for curing Wesley. "Subject Lessons" by Ruth Gifford. TNG, Q/P/f, B&D. Q involves Sara McNeil in his games with Picard. (Mercutio: I loved this story, and particularly the addition of Sara to the pairing. I can't wait to see the sequel.) "Tender Is The Bite" by Carol Thomas. VOY, Everybody. The crew becomes vampires. (Mercutio: Not about Q, but he has a funny cameo.) "The Night They Drove The Borg Down" by Alara Rogers. One of the infamous "Only Human Spinoff Alternates." TNG alternate, Q/m. Backstory to InseQurity. (Mercutio: Finally, Harry and Q get to have a relationship. A good example of why Alara should write more sex.) "The Next Sensation: Mira-Q-Lous" by Naomi Novik. TNG, m/m, Picard/Q, parody. (Mercutio: Wonderfully amusing.) "Terror InQognito" by Christine Faltz. VOY, Q/Torres, Q/Chakotay. Q loses his powers during a sexual encounter with Torres. (Mercutio: Yet another Q-loses-his-powers story. I found the sex to be especially unbelievable in this one.) "The Q Who Fell To Earth" by Jeanita Danzik. Another alternate history to Deja Q where Q never regains his powers. An Orion lawyer helps him become a rich playboy on Risa. (Mercutio: I was dreadfully jealous for days after reading this story for the first time. The premise of Q-as-rich-playboy is so rich with possibility.) "The Spanking" by Ruth Gifford. TNG, Q/f, spanking "Three's A Crowd" by Christine Faltz. Q forces a woman to choose between sex with him and sex with Picard. (Mercutio: One of the best examples of how having sex with Q would be very very different than having sex with just anyone.) "Theme and Variations" by Jeanita Danzik. Q/Picard, m/m, s/m. Picard subs to the max. "Truth Or Q" by Mercutio. TNG, Q/f, parody. Deshanya and Q take sexual dares. "Up Against The Wall, Jean-Luc" by Ruth Gifford and Atara Stein. TNG, Q/Picard. "When Harry Met Mandy" by B. Lee. TNG/Voy, m/f, Kim/Amanda Rogers. "With Or Without You" by Atara Stein. TNG, Picard/Q, sequel to "She Moves in Mysterious Ways". Q and Picard continue their relationship aboard the Enterprise. (Mercutio: One of my favorite Q/Picard stories, and one of the most romantic of the bunch.) In fanzines about sex: "Vestiges of Thought" by Vivian Vanderburg. A Q/Picard slash story. Not terrible if you like that sort of thing. In Liaisons #1, a multi-media slash zine edited by Debra Aretallanes, available from Bill Hupe. (Very bizarre, with Picard taking the dominant role in sex and manipulating Q viciously and Q loving every minute of it. Grammar's not great and the story is *way* out of character in places, but in other places it's quite... uh... intriguing. :-)) "Lady and the Q" by Ari Everett. Amanda and a few other Q show up and tell Q it's been decided that he is to father a child with Vash. He is not thrilled. In Beyond the Farthest Star, edited by Peg Kennedy and Bill Hupe. (This is rather sweet and funny without descending into the sappiness of "Q-Rious", mentioned above. Not bad.) "I Never Could Resist A Man In Uniform" by Mark Ameen Johnson. Vash comes aboard the Enterprise and seduces Picard. Later, as Picard sleeps, we learn it's Q impersonating Vash. Borders on being a parody, but isn't quite. In On the Edge 2, edited by Nina Boal, available from Bill Hupe. (Does a nice job of showing the parallelisms in Q's and Vash's personalities, and is reasonably well-written, but a lot of the scenarios are plain silly.) "A Q Before Breakfast" by Karen Mercer and Maggie Logan. Q wants to go on a date with Picard. In "Full Circle #3", edited by the Nut Hatch, available from Bill Hupe. "Than-Q" by Karen Mercer and Maggie Logan. Q plays matchmaker for Picard and Riker. In "Full Circle #2". "Fuck Q" by Mark Cantrell, Chris Dickenson, Linda McInnis, Don Vaughn. Q sleeps with practically everyone on the Enterprise. In "Supernova 7", ed. by Elizabeth Burnham, 2550 East Beardsley #1, Phoenix, AZ 85024. "Q-uinella" by Kate Stone. As part of a bet with another Q (named "Bob"), Q arranges for Picard and Riker to fall in love. In "Heroes III", ed by Taerie Bryant, 34885 N. Fork Rd, Lyons, OR 97358. (The parts with Q are kind of silly; I can't really comment on the Picard/Riker stuff, as that pairing strikes me as ridiculous.) "The King Who Would Be Man" by M. Fae Glasgow. Q attempts to seduce Picard, but misunderstandings on both sides cause acrimony. In "Paean to Priapus II", ed. by Caroline Carbis, PO Box 335, 1007 N. Sepulveda Blvd, Manhattan Beach, CA 90266-0335. (Very good.) Q Comics: Overall Picture Note: These reviews are done from notes and memory; I don't own any of these except "The Gift", for reasons that will come clear as I continue. 1. The Limited Series: Issues #3-5 of the initial 6-issue limited series. #3: Q Factor. #4: Q's Day. #5: Q Affects. Writer: Michael Carlin. Artists: (#3-5) Pablo Marcos and Carlos Garzon, (#4-5) and Arne Starr. This cycle included three issues of the initial 6-issue limited series done by DC. Originally this was supposed to take place in the second season, but since it had Crusher instead of Pulaski and Tasha Yar was still alive, they later retconned it so that it took place in the first season. This wasn't a bad move from a Q-continuity standpoint, as it was supposed to take place between "Hide and Q" and "Q Who?" anyway. Tasha and Wesley are playing a game of Hide and Seek through the corridors of the ship. They bump into Picard, who reprimands them both. Tasha makes a few comments to Wesley about the horrors of her childhood, at which point the crew is called to alert: an unidentified alien ship has just come into view. Tasha and Riker are part of the Away Team to go over; Data and Worf offer to go, but Deanna, who senses an alien presence, predicts that they will be needed here (??). Tasha and Riker beam over with some Ensign Expendables. People with invisibility cloaks beat the Away Team up. Tasha, half- conscious, sees someone that terrifies her into delirium, and then the Enterprise retrieves its Away Team. On the bridge of the Enterprise, Q shows up and suggests that Picard attack the aliens, who then proceed to attack the Enterprise. Picard orders a saucer separation; sickbay is in the saucer, and so are Tasha, Wesley, Deanna, Riker and Crusher. The saucer is almost immediately pulled off course by a pair of giant hands and vanishes. Despite Q's repeated demands, the battle section of the Enterprise does not fire on the alien ship, which seems to be disabled. It turns out there are humans, colonists from Tasha's world, aboard who don't know how to run the ship, and who were promised great rewards by Q if they'd play along with his game. Picard decides to beam these human colonists aboard. Q orders him to refrain, but admits that he's not permitted to interfere himself, because "They" wouldn't permit it. He then catches himself and snarls at Picard that the test is over and the humans have all failed. Picard says that it looks like Q has failed instead. At this point they all realize the saucer has disappeared. Picard accuses Q, but Q claims that "They" did it. "They have been watching-- now perhaps we are all to be judged." Worf promptly attempts to beat up Q. Aside from making dire threats, Q does nothing to defend himself; instead, after Data pulls Worf off him, Q freezes Worf, but spares the rest of the crew because of Data's act in defending him. Meanwhile, the saucer section is shaking wildly, and completely out of control. Reglech, one of the colonists-- the one whom Tasha knew, the one that terrified her-- attacks Tasha in sickbay and drags her off to a deserted corridor for fun and games. Aboard the battle section, Q announces he's going to kill Picard. Picard suggests he get it over with instead of standing around talking about it all day. But when Q tries to strike him down, nothing happens. Picard realizes that Q has lost his powers, and punches him out. Aboard the saucer, multiple Qs appear. (They all look the same, and are supposed to all look like Q, but they don't-- see comment on art, below.) In a deserted corridor, Reglech torments the barely-conscious Tasha, reminding her of how he used to abuse her as a child. Tasha manages to fight down her fear and get the upper hand. Two more badly drawn Qs observe as Reglech begs for help, refusing him assistance, and are impressed when Tasha spares Reglech's life. On the saucer's bridge, the multiple Qs announce that the humans have passed the test. They are much more promising than their "tainted self" has led them to believe. They apologize for the actions of this "tainted self". At this point the saucer section returns. Q proceeds to have hysterics. "These are violent, irresponsible beings. I'm not like them! I belong with *you!*" Whgen Riker explains that the saucer was apparently inside the Continuum, Q denies that this is possible. They would not have taken humanity into themselves and abandoned him. When it finally sinks in that that is, in fact, exactly what the Continuum has done, Q, considerably less calm about his situation than he was in "Deja Q" (and that's saying something!), wrests a phaser from a crewman. "You fear me now, don't you, Picard? As you should. I may not have my powers, but with this, I once more have power over life and death." He then presses the phaser to his head. "I will not bear being human! I have known something better! And if I am to be reduced to your level, I would rather be dea--" Picard bodyslams him before he can pull the trigger, trying to prevent him from killing himself. In the ensuing struggle, Geordi is shot and gravely wounded. Data, seeing this, has hysterics (?!), and proceeds to beat the crap out of Q (??!!), insisting that Q has the power to resurrect the dead and since Geordi's injury is his fault, he will save Geordi or Data will kill him. (???!!!) Picard, Riker and Worf manage to pull Data off Q, more by persuading him that Q has no powers rather than being able to physically stop him. Q insists that Picard should have let Data finish the job, that Q deserves to die for the harm he has caused (??!!). Troi attempts to comfort him, and Picard says that Crusher can fix Q's injuries. At this point Tasha brings Reglech onto the bridge, at phaserpoint. The colonists have been placed in the brig, she says, and this is the ringleader. Reglech, feeling that Q betrayed him, takes the opportunity to break a few more of Q's ribs, figuring that Starfleet can't do anything worse to him than what they're about to. As Reglech is led off the bridge, Q falls on his knees and begs Picard (?!)-- if Picard won't let Data put Q out of his misery, then he pleads for medical attention, since he is in terrible pain. Picard has Crusher summoned to the bridge. Q, on the verge of losing consciousness, tells them that his mission here was to try to force the members of the crew into joining the Continuum, as he tried before with Riker, but he failed... and at this point he faints from pain. Troi, reading his unconscious mind (???!!!), finishes the story-- that Q believes his failures were because, in the process of studying humanity, he became more and more human himself, tainted by human fallibility. Q is taken to sickbay, over Worf's protests-- Worf thinks he should be allowed to suffer for what he has done, but Picard preaches forgiveness. It wasn't so long ago that humans and Klingons were enemies, after all, and humans' forgiveness of the Klingons is why Worf is here today. In sickbay, Geordi's condition is bad but stable, so Crusher works on Q instead. Meanwhile, Reglech escapes and heads for sickbay, intending to kill Q. When Q wakes up, still in some amount of pain, Data points out that while Crusher was occupied with Q, Geordi's condition has deteriorated, and it may not be possible to save him. At this point Reglech shows up. No one but Q sees him at first. He tries to take Q hostage at phaserpoint; Q smiles weakly and says, "They're finally going to let someone put me out of my misery... Thank you, Reglech." This is not the reaction Reglech wanted. The others notice him at this point and try to subdue him, so he takes Geordi hostage instead. Q tries to persuade Reglech to take him instead, but Reglech points out that no one cares whether Q lives or dies. Data, able to withstand phasers better than anyone else, approaches Reglech, who starts shooting him. At first the phaser has no effect. As Data approaches closer, however, he slows, growing weaker and more damaged. Q, seeing how these beings are willing to sacrifice their lives to save a comrade's, and thinking of how they tried so hard to save *him*, feels ashamed. He saves Data's life by throwing himself in the path of the beam, giving Data a second's respite to reach Reglech and take the gun away. Q is apparently killed instantly. Reglech laughs and says he got the one he came for, anyway, as Yar carts him off to the brig again. The others muse on Q's strange sacrifice. Someone says how odd it is that here he is dead, when shortly before he was one of the most powerful beings in the universe. At this point, Q sits up, grinning, and says, "Nonsense. Still am!" He reveals that his noble act of self-sacrifice led his people to take him back. Having learned a good bit about human compassion in the course of this adventure, he heals Geordi, then vanishes. Review: Anyone who knows anything about the show can see some of the glaring problems with this story right off. I mean, Data having hysterics and beating up on Q? I realize that this was the first season and they hadn't fully established Data's limitations, but he was *always* more logical than that! I mean, first off, it was an accident-- Q was trying to shoot himself and Picard interfered. That makes it Picard's fault as much as Q's, and neither are truly culpable. Secondly, if Q had the power to bring Geordi back, he wouldn't have tried to shoot himself, and he wouldn't be letting Data beat him up! Data *knows* this! There are other glitches like this (Troi reading minds? Or predicting the future? Picard punching out Q? Q *begging?* Uh-uh, don't buy it). The plot is full of holes in other respects as well. As for the art... ooohh (graphic shudder.) These people seem to have no idea what human anatomy is shaped like. Characters stand in ridiculous parodies of Marvel action poses. The colors are gray and muddy. Q spends most of the three issues in a dark gray Roman centurion's outfit that looks terrible on him and does not at all fit his flamboyant tastes in costumes. On the other hand, perhaps this version of Q *does* like dark, ugly clothes, because this sure as hell doesn't look like the Q we know. If these artists ever saw John de Lancie in even a tiny grainy newsprint photo standing at the back of a group shot in a dim room, I would be very surprised. Most of the other characters look at least vaguely like who they're supposed to; Q does not. Admittedly, de Lancie is very hard to draw; I'm not an artist myself, but I know enough about art to know that his face is ridiculously easy to caricature, nearly impossible to render well. He's got one of those faces where the individual parts, taken together, are not attractive, and yet they all somehow work together-- more difficult for an artist to capture than a classical face like Stewart's. Even still, this art is a travesty. There are some interesting ideas buried in all this muck. I find it interesting, the points of similarity between this and "Deja Q"-- this predates "Deja Q"; did the writer of that see this and extract the few interesting ideas from this, completely rewriting them into a much better plot? Q's hysteria at being kicked out of the Continuum in public is actually a reaction I can buy. He screams, he rages, he throws temper tantrums and tries to kill himself-- yeah, I can buy that. I have a hard time buying him deciding to sacrifice himself for the people who just beat the crap out of him, though. I do like the stuff with Tasha Yar. She is the only interesting and at all well-done character in the entire piece. Overall, though: save your money. 2. The Klingon Cycle: This is another set I don't actually own. Issues #33-35 of the regular DC comic; #33. Way of the Warrior #34. Devil's Brew #35. The Dogs of War. Writer: Michael Jan Friedman. Artists: Kenneth Penders and Pablo Marcos. The Enterprise is escorting a group of members of a violent warrior race, the Ysalanti, to a diplomatic conference. The Ysalanti have an atavistic hostile reaction to members of other warrior races, such as Klingons, so Worf has had to delegate the job of security liaison and stay out of the way. He is not happy about this, made less so by his own atavistic reaction to these people. Picard takes him aside and praises him for his diplomacy in handling this situation-- Picard knows how difficult it is for Worf, but he's doing very well with it, and Picard is proud of him. He says that he wishes he had a hundred like Worf. At this point Q walks through the hull into the ready room, thoroughly disgusted. He mocks Picard's praise of Worf, especially the part about wishing he had a hundred like Worf, and offers to give him just that. In a moment, everyone on the ship-- except for the warrior aliens and Data, who are spared, Guinan, who is unaffected, and Worf, who was one already-- transforms into a Klingon. This creates a whole host of problems. For one thing, it turns out that Klingons really are a more passionately emotional and violent race than humans. The humans aboard have no experience in controlling the violent Klingon temper; as a result, there are fights and bloodshed. Riker challenges Picard in combat for the position of captain. The warrior aliens perceive this transformation as a personal insult; they don't believe in Q, and insist that the Federation members transform back, or there will be a. serious diplomatic repercussions b. blood running down the corridors of the Enterprise. Worf, with Guinan's and Data's help, has to play diplomat, get the ship under control, and convince Q to turn them back to their normal forms. By the end of the story, he succeeds. Picard makes some comment about this perhaps being an elaborate test of Q's for Worf. Review: This is the sort of story that falls into the "Q as plot device" category. Q's presence is irrelevant to the actual story, which is "What if everyone on the Enterprise turned into a Klingon?" He's just a convenient excuse to achieve that end. This would be forgiveable-- Q makes a pretty good plot devices as such things go-- if he weren't handled so poorly. Q is portrayed as a childish brat, with none of his usual style. He's not malevolent, he's silly, and badly silly at that. At one point, he makes a lame joke about not wanting to play the liar, spelled lyre, while playing a lyre, and then points out the joke with a sort of "Get it? Get it?" attitude. I'm sorry, but Q's jokes are not that lame (except for "Macro-head with a micro-brain" from "Hide and Q", which I like to pretend didn't happen), and he doesn't stupidly call attention to them like that. This portrays a vision of Q as somebody who goes around saying, "What can I do for fun today? Hey, how about turning everyone on the Enterprise into a Klingon?" Usually his games are more integral to events, more reactions to things Enterprise crewmembers actually did, than this. I am also not thrilled with the way the crewmmembers behave. They may have transformed into genetic Klingons, but this is not really any reason for them to suddenly develop the ability to speak in Klingon (which several do) or to fight like Klingons, or to understand anything of Klingon culture. Conversely, if Q has just transplanted a Klingon culture on top of their human one... that's directly mucking with people's heads. Q doesn't tend to do that. He prefers to let the circumstances he puts people in play games with their heads, rather than doing it through direct mind control. And I also think it's a stereotypical and flat depiction of Klingons, as well as badmouthing humans-- are we really so passionless as all that, that when transformed into Klingons we lose all ability to control our emotions? Then there's the art. Oooh, there's the art. Q is consistently drawn horribly. The other members of the crew are not much better. (Side note: the Enterprise crewmembers all turn into dark-skinned Klingons, like Worf. When Q takes a Klingon form, in addition to looking horrible, he's still white. Please don't tell me Q's a racist...) Mind you, this art is light-years improved from the art in the miniseries. Pablo Marcos, the penciler for the mini-series, is the inker here; from the evidence of this issue, he makes a much better inker than penciller (though see the art comments on the next cycle.) Q is at least recognizable as someone who's *supposed* to be Q-- he just doesn't look good. When I first read this story, sitting in a comic book store (deprived child that I am, I couldn't pay for it), I thought it was utterly horrible. Then I read the miniseries, so I have some perspective now. This isn't utterly horrible. It's just lame. True raving fanatics may still want a copy, but people who feel a bit choosier may wish to pass this up. 3. The Dixon Hill cycle: Again, written by Michael Jan Friedman, thus proving that Friedman cannot write Q. Issues #52-54 of the regular DC comics series; #52. The Rich and the Dead. #53. Reductions and Deductions. #54. Hidden Agendas. Writer: Michael Jan Friedman. Artist: Pablo Marcos. The Enterprise is in orbit around a shore leave world, and most of the crew-- including Geordi, Riker, Worf and his son, and Troi-- are going to the circus. Crusher and Picard, however, are going to relax in the holodeck with a new Dixon Hill adventure, "The Rich and the Dead", that Picard's brother Robert sent him. Picard wonders why Robert, a traditionalist who disapproves of holodecks, would send him such a gift; Crusher points out that Dixon Hill is also a traditionalist. Shortly after his client hires him, "Dixon Hill" receives a visit from another shady figure-- Q, in a trenchcoat and hat. Claiming that he was intrigued by Picard's holodeck adventure and wished to up the stakes, Q tells Picard that he has made Worf and Troi extremely small and put them in the pocket of the Kartakkan Cannonball, a man who is about to be shot out of a cannon into a bucket of water in a very short period of time. If Picard can solve the mystery in time, Q will return Worf and Troi to their proper size; if not, the stresses of the act will kill them. In the meantime, Worf has grown more and more disgusted with the circus. He claims that he could duplicate the feats of the trapeze artists, and that nobody here is in any danger. He stomps off to find some prune juice, and Troi follows, trying to talk him out of his bad mood, when both of them shrink and find themselves in a strange place. Q shows up and tells them what he's just done. They attempt to escape, but to no avail. In the process, Troi sees some containers through a rip in the pocket, and gets a very strange sense about them. In the meantime, Picard uses his knowledge of wines as the clue to solve the case, which is a rather pedestrian case as these things go-- a woman's brother was murdered, and she hired Dixon Hill to find the killer. After questioning only three suspects, Picard figures it out. He confronts the killer, and Q, who makes good on his promise barely in time-- Worf has to perform some aerial acrobatics to save himself and Troi from falling to their deaths. This impresses Alexander tremendously. At the same time, Troi uses what she sensed in the pocket to discover that the circus is a cover for an interplanetary smuggling ring. The day is saved. In the end, Picard wonders if Q's little game might not have been intended to help them discover the circus' true purpose. Review: This is less lame than Michael Jan Friedman's previous Q story cycle-- there are no "liar/lyre" type bad puns. Q does make a mild fool of himself trying to talk like a gumshoe, but then so does Picard, so less harm is done than might have been. My problem with this story is that there is no point. This is a rather pedestrian mystery-- why does it intrigue Q enough to pull this trick? Again, Q is used as a plot device, and here the plot is even lamer than the last one. The implication that Q might have done this to help them crack the smuggling ring doesn't wash-- Q is not interested in smuggling rings. If he's going to pull a nasty stunt on you to teach you something, it'll be something big, like "Stop regretting your past, you idiot-- it's an integral part of what you are", or "If you keep blundering on in your Pollyanna belief that you can handle anything the universe throws at you, you're going to get crushed." *Not* something like "The circus is really a smuggling ring"! How trivial can you get? I have to admit that the parts that don't have Q are actually not bad. Friedman is not a terrible writer. He's workmanlike, not terribly exciting, but entertaining enough. The bits with Worf looking for prune juice and some of the holodeck sequences before Q shows up are actually quite funny. It's just that he can't write Q. As for the art, it's a vast improvement over the art in the previous cycle mentioned. Pablo Marcos has improved his rendition of Q by light-years since the initial miniseries; either that, or his inkers totally ruined his work in the miniseries. After seeing his work by himself, one wonders why DC hasn't employed him as sole artist more often. His rendition of Q only occasionally looks stupid. Mostly, Q looks like himself-- a bit more jowly, and the gratuituous shots of Q's head on various statuary and other weird stuff is a bit unnecessary. I prefer him in the trenchcoat and fedora. It's still not great, but then, this is a comic book, and rendering real people is hard. I don't expect perfection. If you have the cash to spare, and are looking for a bit of mild amusement, this might fill the bill. But don't save up for it. 4. "The Gift": Dc Comics Annual #1. Writers: John de Lancie and Michael Jan Friedman. Artists: Gordon Purcell and Pablo Marcos. First off, let me say something. I am not one of these people who thinks that an actor I like is God. I do not automatically assume that an actor can write. In fact, I assume the opposite. And it's very difficult to write comic books-- some wonderful prose stylists have written utterly lame comic books. I've written comic book scripts myself-- I know. And I've seen actors write stories about their characters before (anyone here heard of "Avon-- A Terrible Novel", er, "Aspect"?) So when I heard that John de Lancie had written a TNG comic, I assumed that it was going to be really bad. Much to my surprise, and pleasure, it was actually the best of the TNG comics I've read, certainly the best rendition of Q I've seen. I disagree slightly with de Lancie's take on the character (that sounds so incredibly self-righteous-- *I* disagree with the actor who *plays* the guy-- but I have my reasons), and there are some problems, which I'll outline below. But overall, this one is worth it. Note: This story, which takes place between "Deja Q" and "Q- pid", was written before the episode "Family". As a result, it contradicts what we later found out about Picard's family. A party is held on the Enterprise, but Picard, in a melancholy mood, refuses to go, remembering an old pain from his childhood. At the party, a mysterious plague of forgetfulness begins to sweep the ship, as people forget lines, duties, etc, and a comet-like ball of flame approaches from far away. Later, on the bridge, as the plague of forgetfulness continues, Picard is suddenly struck down in agony. He begins to gradually change into a goat, passing through a transitional goat-man stage. As he staggers into the turbolift, losing speech and intelligence, he meets the author of his suffering-- Q. "I've come to tell you I don't like you anymore," Q says. "As far as I'm concerned, the honeymoon is over. Debts are paid, the slate wiped clean." Q presents Picard with a photograph of Picard's family, and coaxes the goat-creature-- who's having a harder and harder time speaking-- to say that they are his parents, at which point Q smiles maliciously and says, "Not anymore." He appears on the bridge with Picard, who has now fully transformed into a goat. "Your captain and I are going to a family reunion," Q says. "Don't wait up." And dropping the photograph of Picard's parents, he vanishes. The bridge crew deduce from the photograph that he meant Picard's family-- that perhaps Q has taken Picard back in time. Picard finds himself on a street in Paris. The date is from his adolescent years-- his parents are still alive! Picard runs to his old home, but his family don't recognize him-- he isn't their son; their son is upstairs. His father calls out, "Jean-Luc, descend!" and Q comes down the stairs. Picard, enraged, throws himself at Q and punches him. Q's face falls off and a dark, inhuman face stares out at him, laughing mockingly. The two of them reappear in a bizarre landscape. Q no longer looks human, and only barely humanoid, dressed as a judge with impossibly pale skin and stars in his robes. "You made me look small in front of my people," he tells Picard. "Now I will make you small." He begins to unravel Picard's DNA, devolving him back through several transformations. Picard shouts at him to stop. "This is like a mean-spirited child pulling the wings off flies. At least let me fight for my life! Challenge me!" he tells Q, and Q agrees. Picard contends that his parents will know him as their son over the imposter Q, and Q accepts. They return to Picard's family. At first the parents think Picard is a madman, as he claims that he is their son and the man that they know as their son, isn't. The two of them have an apparently equal knowledge of shared memories with the parents, memories that only the real Jean-Luc-- or an omniscient entity-- could know about. Then Q brings up the death of Jean-Luc's little brother Claude, who fell into a well and died. Picard cannot bring himself to discuss the incident, so Q, gloating over his triumph, recounts it-- his downfall, as the parents realize that their son would not force them to relive such a horrible event. Whoever Q is, he is not their son. Picard and Q reappear in Q's "home away from home." "I won!" Picard shouts. "I defeated you! My parents are to remember none of this, do you understand?" Q, meanwhile, is confused. "I don't understand... I remembered everything perfectly, and yet they still chose you. Obviously I have a lot to learn about humans. Let me make it up to you, Picard." He offers Picard his brother's life back, and Picard, not realizing the consequences of his brother's resurrection, accepts-- and then realizes what has happened. "You've tricked me?" he questions. "Would I do that?" Q asks. In the meantime, on the Enterprise, Riker has decided they are going to sit right there until Q comes back with Picard, though in his heart he's not at all sure Q will. Guinan, too, is troubled. "If I'd been on the bridge, I might have been able to stop him," she tells Wesley. "But Q and I have an... understanding. I won't-- can't-- interfere." She believes that Q's capacity for pettiness and malevolence has no real boundaries, and that, by seeing Q when he was vulnerable (in "Deja Q") and saving his life, making it possible for Q to be reinstated in the Continuum, Picard has managed to win the entity's enmity. As they wait for Picard, time shifts around them. Suddenly the Enterprise is the last Starfleet ship holding out against the conquest of Starfleet by the demagogue dictator, Claude Picard. Q shows a horrified Picard his people's last stand against, and death at the hands of, his brother. Q takes Picard on a journey through time. In various forms, both human and animal, they observe the growth to adulthood of Claude Picard, a sullen child resentful of his older brother who grows into a bully and eventually a petty dictator. Finally, at Jean-Luc's insistence, Q takes him to confront Claude, who pulls a gun and threatens to kill Jean-Luc. Q intervenes, and offers Picard the choice to undo what was done. Reluctantly, grieving for his brother but seeing the necessity, Picard accepts, and Q blows Claude backward into the well. As the two of them look down at the broken body, now a small child again, Q says, "Who says there is no God?" Back on the Enterprise, Riker once again offers Picard a chance to go to the party, and this time, Picard accepts. Q, in the shadows, smiles. "That's my gift to you, Picard-- to be free of your past. Wear it in good health!" And he vanishes. Review: This is a much different view of Q than anyone else has presented us with. He is more malevolent than he's been since.. well, since ever, actually, his mind games far more subtle in their cruelty than his threat to kill Amanda Rogers in "True Q" or his throwing the Enterprise to the Borg. There is humor here, but it's a darkly malevolent humor, not the usual silly glee. In some respects, this story parallels "Tapestry" (which it predates by a good bit), in Q's intensity and in the basic plotline behind the second half of the story. One of my problems with the thing, in fact, is that Q is *too* malevolent. I cannot buy that Q would want to destroy Picard so utterly for having had the temerity to save Q's life-- "Q-pid", as silly as it was, seemed a lot more in character. This story makes more sense if set after "Hide and Q", where Picard defeated Q and tricked him into getting himself banished, or "Q Who?", where Picard rejected Q's request to join the Enterprise-- it does not make sense happening after "Deja Q". Q's petty, but not that petty. (In fact, we know-- though de Lancie didn't at the time-- that Q's not that petty, because we saw "Q-pid".) I think de Lancie did this in part as an antidote to "Deja Q"-- he's made no secret of the fact that he prefers playing the character as more malevolent than humorous-- but the timing was bad. There is another point to make here. On the credits to this issue, it says, "With additional dialogue by Michael Jan Friedman." When I first read that, I thought, "Aha-- so *that's* why an actor can write. He can't-- this was ghostwritten!" Then I realized that Michael Jan Friedman is the guy who can't write Q to save his life. Later, in a biographical sketch of de Lancie, I read that DC had rewritten his script and he was very unhappy about it. So it's hard to know exactly where to lay the blame for things. For instance, the storytelling-- the way the panels flow to tell the story-- is poor. This is either the fault of the artist, or it's de Lancie's fault-- probably both, as when you have an inexperienced comic book writer and an artist who's not especially good at compensating for a writer's experience, this sort of thing can happen. On the other hand, at one point Q says, "If I'd know it would be this much fun talking to a goat, I'd have picked another 'Q'uadruped!" No. Q does not make lame jokes about his own name. I think I can safely lay that one on Friedman's doorstep, as I know Friedman makes lame Q jokes and de Lancie really has got to know better. The plotting in this is not brilliant-- again, probably de Lancie's fault; a good editor could have tightened this up. The plague of forgetfulness seems to have nothing to do with the rest of the story, and the intercut scenes of Q as a ball of flame hurtling toward the Enterprise are overdone. Some of the transition sequences are weak. This is where a rewrite by Friedman should have-- and apparently didn't, unless it was a lot worse in de Lancie's original-- helped, since Friedman is workmanlike and boring, but strong on storytelling and plot. What makes this so much superior to the other Q issues, however, are the ideas and the characterization of Q and Picard, and *that* is definitely de Lancie's doing, as Friedman couldn't write Q out of a wet paper bag (that sounds funny...). Given some training in comic book writing, de Lancie has definite promise. The sad thing is that I've gathered from reading interviews with him that he feels pretty burned by the whole experience, and will probably never write another comic book. I'd like to see him turn to prose fiction-- the author has a lot more creative control there, with less editorial meddling. As for the art... perhaps the artist took especial care in drawing Q, considering who was writing the book, or perhaps Gordon Purcell is simply a better artist than the ones on previous issues, but the art is also the best in this. Q still doesn't look exactly right-- he looks younger, a bit more unlined, a bit more classically handsome (and with more hair... did de Lancie stand over this guy's shoulder and make suggestions? ) The Pablo Marcos Q in the Dixon Hill saga erred on the side of making Q jowly and older-looking; this errs on the side of making him more classically good-looking than he actually is. (Hmm...) Other characters are drawn reasonably well-- although, ironically, Picard is kind of weird-looking in some of the panels in this-- and I really, really love the depiction of Q as the judge. Finally someone makes creative use of Q's shapechanging powers, instead of just making him look like a headbumpian or sticking his head on statuary! The interesting thing is that he looks completely alien and yet he still looks like Q. I know, because I read an interview with de Lancie and saw preliminary sketches for this, that de Lancie had a vague idea what he wanted the character to look like, Purcell did up three different sketches and de Lancie decided on which one to use, so this seems to be a genuine collaboration. I'm happy with it. Overall I'd recommend this one. So far that's it. If anyone has anything to add to the list, let me know! Addresses: For Eridani and Tantalus: Orion Press Randall Landers 3211 Saddleleaf Dr. Albany, GA 31707 For Quisine: Annie Hamilton Q Appreciation Society P.O. Box 492 Corinda, Qld 4075 AUSTRALIA For Bill Hupe: Footrot Flats 916 Lamb Rd. Mason, MI 48854 For Beyond Farpoint: Farpoint Press PO Box 142 Clifton Heights, PA 19018-0142. For the internet archives: ftp.token.net /pub/startrek ftp.europa.com /outgoing/mercutio http://www.europa.com/~mercutio/Q.html http://www.token.net/~trekindex/index.html ftp.netcom.com /pub/al/aleph/trek (Alara Rogers' stories only)