Disclaimer: I don't own X-men, yeah...Originally I was going to stop writing about Mystique as the new season started, but since it's been delayed I might as well torture her a little more. Heh. Heh.
Sick, Sick, Sick
Mystique groaned as her nose clogged up for the hundredth time that afternoon. She blew her nose loudly. "I am going to kill Summers," she muttered. "I must have got it on that blasted trip when Rogue defected! It's the only explanation! It's all his fault! Him and Xavier! I will get them all for making me suffer! Nothing could make me feel worse than what they have put me through!"
Todd poked his head through the door. "How are you feeling Mystique?"
She closed her eyes and lay further back into the pillow. "Like I am the butt of some awful cosmic joke."
"Aww. Here, I got ya something," Todd came in with a tray. It had a bowl of soup and a tall glass of ginger ale.
"Oh goody. The Toad Food Delivery Service has arrived," she groaned.
"Here you go, one nice bowl of soup and cool drink," He placed the tray on her lap. He picked up a spoon and got a small spoonful of soup. "Now here comes the train coming into the station! Choo! Choo!"
"Get that away from me you little slimeball!" She knocked it away from her. "Take it away! What do you want?"
"Nothin'" Todd said as he put the tray onto the table next to her bed. "I just wanna help. That's all."
"Oh lord, that's even worse!" She blew her nose again and casually discarded the tissue in an overflowing trash bag. "It's bad enough I have a flu that would strike down a herd of elephants. It's even worse that I feel so weak that I barely have the strength to move, much less use my powers. But worse of all is you playing nursemaid!"
Mystique was going to rant some more, but then she heard two familiar voices come up the stairs.
"You shut up!"
"No you shut up!"
"Oh no," Mystique groaned in genuine agony as Lance and Pietro walked in. "What is it now?"
"Mystique tell Pietro it's his turn to do the dishes!"
"It is not Lance! I did them last time!"
"No you didn't! You took off and Freddy did them. That's why we had to go to the store and buy new ones, remember?"
"Hey! I'm not the one who shook the house so hard that they broke!"
"That was the time before that you moron!"
"Hey you two guys knock it off!" Todd said. "The Boss Lady ain't feelin' so good! The last thing she wants to hear is you two guys go at it!"
"Shut up Toad!" Lance scowled.
"You shut up!" Todd shot back.
"Why are you are so anxious to get outta doing the dishes, Pietro? You can do them in two minutes flat?"
"One minute, thirty three seconds. But that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing!"
"Will you two knock it off!"
"Don't tell me to shut up! You shut up!"
"No you shut up!"
"No you shut up!"
"La La La La!" Mystique held her hands to her ears in a vain attempt to block out the noise. "I do not hear this. I'm not listening! La! La! La! La!"
"You shut up!"
"Face it Lance, you're too lazy! Lazy Lance! Lazy Lance!"
"Whatsa matter? Prissy Pietro doesn't wanna get dishpan hands?"
"I have had it! Both of you shut up! I do not have the strength for this!" Mystique shouted. "I can't take it anymore! All of you are annoying me to death! Toad! Stop trying to fluff my pillow. I swear if I had the strength I'd smother you with it!"
"Why are you being so rotten to me boss?" Todd asked. "I'm just trying to help."
"Help? You? I have had more competent help from manure! At least it's useful! And not as smelly! I wouldn't be surprised if your disgusting germs are what's making me sick. You are the most pathetic weakling I have ever met! Achoo! Disgusting little toad."
"And you two aren't much better," Mystique whirled her head around to Lance and Pietro. "You idiots and your stupid arguments are giving me migraines!"
As she went on ranting at them she did not see the evil glare Todd gave her. Lance and Pietro watched in horror as he snaked out his long, slimy tongue and dipped it into her soup. He withdrew it and used it to lick his lips before dipping it back in. He made sure a few good drips of slime mingled in the broth. Then he put his tongue into her glass and did the same.
"I have had it with you two teenage twits! You irresponsible jackasses cause nothing but trouble and if I had my way...Why are you two standing there with your mouths open like a couple of cattle?"
Mystique turned and glared at Todd who smiled innocently. "What are you smiling at you odious little creep?"
"I just like to smile. Please Mystique, have some soup. You'll feel better."
"Fine! Give it to me!"
"As you wish," he handed her the tray. It was all Lance and Pietro could do to keep a straight face as they watched Mystique sip her soup and drink a gulp of ginger ale.
"Hmm..." She murmured. "Not bad. Must have heated it up from a can. Well I suppose even you can do that right. A bit slippery down the throat though."
Lance and Pietro quietly backed away out of the room. Todd wisely started doing the same. He smiled at Mystique. "Glad you like it. I put something special in it, just for you."
"Yeah what?" A few seconds later, realization dawned on her. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Todd hopped away, laughing with sadistic glee. "You disgusting..." Mystique gasped. "Water! Help! Oh god, no! No! When I get better you are dead Toad! Dead!"
"Here ya go Boss Lady," Lance came in with a glass of water. Mystique greedily drank it. Then she spurted it out.
"It tastes like soap!"
"It shouldn't. We hardly washed any dishes!" Lance laughed, racing away as Mystique threw the glass at him.
Suddenly Pietro zipped in wearing a doctor's outfit. "Ah! And how is our patient doing today?"
"Oh I'm not a god. I just have the looks of one," Pietro smirked. "Doctors!"
To Mystique's horror, Lance, Todd, and Fred came in wearing similar doctor's outfits of their own. Fred was licking a lollypop. They all grinned at the same time.
"Lollypop?" Fred offered it to Mystique.
"Doctors! Time to examine the patient!" Lance announced.
"Not while I have an ounce of strength left in my body you won't," Mystique growled.
"Ah Doctors!" Pietro said. "It is my opinion that the patient has a serious case of the crankies! Don't you agree Dr. Alvers?"
"Oh yes! Dr. Tolansky?"
"Right you are! Dr. Dukes?"
"Huh? Oh yeah. Yeah right!"
"So..." Pietro took out a roll of bandages. He gave an evil grin. Before Mystique could protest he used his super speed to wrap all the bandages around her. Soon she was wrapped up like a mummy, with only her face showing.
"Let me out of here! Untie me this instant!"
"And now..." Lance smirked as he pulled out a credit card. "Time to have a little party!"
"Yeah party like doctors!" Fred nodded. "How do doctors party?"
"To the golf course!" Pietro laughed. They whooped and hollered ignoring Mystique's threats.
"LET ME OUT OF THIS! GIVE ME BACK MY CREDIT CARD! NO! COME BACK WITH MY CAR! DON'T YOU LUNATICS DARE LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE THIS!"
"You're not alone, Boss," Todd popped in and smiled. "I'm staying home to take care of you."