psinex@yahoo.com X-Men: PATE WARS: A New Xavier by Phil Hartman DISCLAIMER: Everyone here, except possibly the showgirls, belong to Marvel Comics. The Main Street Pier Restaurant is a REAL establishment, belonging to the owners. Please don't sue. ------------------------------------------------------- Me and Charlie at the bar runnin' up a high bill ... - "Miami," Will Smith ------------------------------------------------------- Hulkbuster Base, 12/31/97: 08:34 hrs MDT: ------------------------------------------------------- Charles Francis Xavier sighed as he guided his hoverchair into the office of Leonard Samson, project supervisor for the psi-psychological branch of Project: Pegasus housed at the leftover Army base. #It seemed so simple,# Xavier mused, playing with a rubber chicken Samson's last client had left in the room. #I was stressing more and more - Sabretooth, X-Force's 'antics,' the Underground - and then Magnus pushed me, farther than I'd ever let myself BE pushed ...# He flung the chicken to the floor, gritting his teeth in frustration. #I mindsucked a man who I considered a FRIEND !# Xavier agonized. #I told myself it was justified, that the indignity Logan had suffered permitted me to violate Magneto as he had Logan's body. And I had used memory blocks before ... but to ... ERASE a man's mind ...# He cringed; the battle over 6 months earlier on the shores of Genosha had left Magnus to fall helplessly into the Indian Ocean, while the X-Men rushed Xavier and the nigh-dead Wolverine back to the X-Mansion. #We believed he'd drowned, but then Scott called me and told me about Joseph. The 'boy' showed up on the doorstep not a month later,# Xavier remembered with a faint smile. #30 years younger, seemingly an innocent ... would that I could achieve that state again ...# He turned to see Leonard Samson enter the room, and sighed, "Leonard ... I'm not sure this is helping either of us." "Well, you're certainly free to go, Charles. Your insight into psi will be greatly missed, but you're not a prisoner," Samson said kindly. Then the lights flickered, and a thick mist appeared from thin air. "Oh, no," Xavier muttered. "HER ..." Amelia Voght resolved herself into a tangible form, accompanied by a very familiar figure. "Really, Charles - if you wanted psychological help, you should have called Gabrielle," the red-and-purple clad figure chuckled. "Magneto !?" Samson exclaimed. "Leonard, wait," Xavier asked. "If he'd wanted to harm us, he'd've acted by now." "Oh, I WILL act, Charles," Erik nodded. "But not here. I can tell you EXACTLY what is wrong with you - why your confidence is, to put it colloquially, 'shot to hell.' You saw into my head, but it cuts both ways. Amelia, if you would ... ?" "At once, m'lord," Voght nodded. She began to dematerialize herself, Magnus and Xavier, who told Samson, "Bill me, will you ? Thank you for your time." "BILL YOU !? Oh for heaven's sake ...," Samson groaned as the mutants vanished. The phone rang, and he muttered, "Samson ... WHAT !? No, Dad, I TOLD you, Eddie CANNOT have the canapes from Bruce and Betty's baby shower !!" ------------------------------------------------------- The mutants rematerialized in Magnus' sitting room in Haven, and Amelia left. A pair of servoids brought a bottle of Cabernet Batroc and a pair of glasses. Xavier let Magnus pour, not quite sure what to make of the hospitality. "Oh, relax," Magnus chuckled, levitating a glass to Xavier by honing his power on the trace minerals in the crystalline matrix. "That mindwipe was a wake-up call to me. I OWE you, Charles," Magnus continued. "The time I spent as Joseph was eye-opening - seeing the innocence of Scott and Jean's children, and getting to know my children and grandchildren as well. It's far, far better to make peace than war." Xavier nodded. "You've seen, then, the rewards peace can bring ?" "Oh, certainly, Charles !" Magnus smiled - a smile of peace, Xavier marveled. "But the problem is, YOU can't let yourself relax," Magnus continued. "All those years of frustration at your dream's halting, stumbling progress - and there HAS been progress, Charles - poured out of you. Your temporary erasure of my mind was a safety valve, warning you that if you do not learn to relax, you will explode in an ... onslaught of rage. I can't blame you for choosing me as a target - I'm not the only obstacle you've faced over the years, but I've been a major one." "That is the LAST thing I ever expected to hear from you, Erik," Xavier smiled finally. "I have to agree, though. But I'm not a young man anymore - what will I do to, as you say, vent ?" Magnus grinned wickedly and said, "First, you're going to get DOWN to my medlab and get your legs healed. Why in the world, with all the Shi'ar technology in your sub-basements, you haven't proceeded to do so already IS beyond my understanding. THEN, you and I are going to do the last thing anyone expects the champion of human-mutant equality and the master of magnetism to do - - we're going to Daytona Beach for New Year's Eve, getting ridiculously drunk, and leer at women half our age before the police run us out at 3 a.m. !" Xavier gaped and thought, #He HAS lost his mind !# Magnus half-smiled and said, "No, I'm quite serious. Think about it - we're single, dirty old men in the bodies of college-age boys, Charles. That temper tantrum I threw in Genosha - your tantrum when you mindwiped me - it's the classic sign of a repressed id ! Now come on ..." ------------------------------------------------------- Main Street Pier Restaurant, Daytona Beach: 11:58 hrs EST: ------------------------------------------------------- " ... God, she'sh CUTE," Xavier slurred, somewhere on his fifth Bloody Mary and watching a waitress wander by. "Focus on the ball in Times Square, not the ones between your legs, Charles - keep your eye on the television," Magnus exhorted him somewhat more soberly (the ability to monitor one's own blood metabolytes allows one to slow alcohol absorption to a degree). "How doesh Dick Clark manage to shtay sho YOUNG, is what I want to know," Xavier chuckled, wobbling on his feet. He was still giddy from the restoration of his ability to walk, and the pitcher of Bloody Marys hadn't helped matters any. "Oh, come on," Magnus grinned. "Everyone knows he's a Shi'ar agent, with access to their age-controlling technology !" The men looked at each other, then exploded in laughter. "You two are incorrigible," Amelia sighed, helping Xavier to a chair. "Oh, c'mon, Ames - jhust one kish, f'r old times' sake ?" Xavier begged, his eyes wide. "Don't say I didn't warn you, Charles," Voght grinned. She french-kissed him, to the cheers of the bar's other patrons, and Magnus raised his stein of Heineken high. "Now THIS is a party !" he laughed. "10 - 9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 ! HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!" the partiers roared, cheering. "My resholution," Xavier whispered to Amelia as she cuddled in his lap, "ish to let myself have a good time when I can. That'sh not sho bad, huh ?" "It's about time," Amelia grinned. They began kissing again, and Magnus grinned. #Maybe I should get out of Avalon once in a while as well,# he thought, his eyes widening at a figure who entered the bar area. "Magnus - and PROFESSOR XAVIER !?" Alyetys Forrester gaped. "LEE ! C'mon over !" Magnus grinned. "Is that REAL Bloody Mary mix ? God, that smells good after a day on a shrimper," Lee smiled. "May I join you ?" "Thought you'd never ask," Erik chuckled. "Barkeep, another pitcher !" He patted down his white Armani suit and cursed. "My wallet ! Oh, PERFECT - I left it in my other armor !" "Just charge it to the school," Xavier giggled. "Hell, I never use half that cashshhhhh anyhow ..." ------------------------------------------------------- end ;) NOTES: The Main Street Pier Restaurant is a great place I found while visiting Daytona Beach recently. If you ever get a chance, visit it - it's a historical, friendly place to eat and get a drink, and the service is excellent. _________________________________________________________ DO YOU YAHOO!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com