Jaya's Challenge: >>The PsiWars arc basically destroyed telepathic communication the world over with all that nasty ick with the psionic plane and all... What I'm curious about is how other telepaths are reacting to this.... The challenge is to show how a telepath is affected by this; be it in regards to battle capabilities, personal life, or whatever.<< Jaya made this challenge and this story, such as it is, snuck into my head the very next instant. So, Jay, consider it blamed on - um, I mean, *dedicated to* - you. (In fact, it is now doubly dedicated to Jaya, cos I decided I wasn't going to post it, and then she made me. Well okay, she didn't exactly *make* me. But she said she liked it, and I'm such a slut for praise, that that's as good as putting a gun to my head. Speaking of which - send me feedback and I'll bear your children. But if you don't like it, you must blame Jaya instead. All her fault. Oh yes. ;-)) NOTE: It works a lot better if you READ IT ALOUD - and pay attention to the punctuation. I think. I haven't mentioned who the telepath is by name - oh no, wait, I did. Sorta. And anyway, his identity should be fairly clear, unless this is even stupider than I think it is, which is certainly highly possible. Anyway he belongs to Marvel, and is used without permisson. I certainly don't want him, especially not if he really is this crazy now. NOT HERE I'm not here right now. I'm out of town, out to lunch, away on business, not here right now. The lights are on but I'm not home. Go home. Can't go home. All lines are busy, call back later, ring again, leave a message, because I'm no longer here. I used to be here but I'm not, now. Something went wrong and I'm not, now. There used to be voices but there aren't, now. They're gone, now. And so am I, now, and I'm not here, not here, not. here. now. Yes, I didn't hear you, I'm sorry, I'm busy, I'm empty, I'm out, all out, emptied out, can't shout, can't speak, in deep, and I'm not here right now. Did I say that already? Not here. Not here at all. Not seeing, not hearing, not being, not dying, not alive, not dead, can't survive, I said, not awake, not asleep, caught in the deep, on the edge, on the ledge, somewhere, elsewhere, anywhere, but not here. Anymore. Right now. Did I say that already? I think I said that already. Am I repeating myself? I think I'm repeating myself. ... I should really try to concentrate more. I'm concentrating now. There. I'm concentrating now. See? ... But I'm not saying anything, I'm not talking, not walking, not moving, not grooving, to that old inner beat, these feet, were made for walking, but I'm not, I'm not. I'm staying still, I'm saying: still. Still not here. Still, always, until, it stops. Which it doesn't, by the way, on the way, to San Jose. I keep on being not here, even though I'm waiting, just anticipating, being here, I'm not. Still. ... See? Still not here. ... I used to be here. Now I'm not. Here. I wish I was here. I wish you were here. Having a terrible time, wish you were here. Dear. But you're not, are you? You used to be, and now you're not. No-one is. I know I'm not. Because you can't get there from here. You have to be able to move, to groove, to lose that earth thing, to get in the swing, to swing up, to go there, to get here, from there, which you can't. And I can't. And I can't. And I can't. And I'm not. Here. Now. In fact I'm stuck, in a rut, caught in the muck, running amok - No, not running amok, Not running, Not walking, Not moving, Not going there, there fore, not here. I already established that. I'm pretty sure I already established that. I'm pretty sure. I'm pretty. I'm pretty sure I'm pretty. Ha. ... Did I say that already? .... There used to be voices and I was here. I was right here, in the clear, in the great melting pot, but now I'm not. Actually, I was everywhere. I was all over, I was in clover, I was red dog rover, so roll over, do a trick, be a brick and play for me. Keep me occupied, keep me realised, be a dear and keep me here, keep me now, anyhow, just keep me sane. Keep me sane. Keep me kept, all set. I used to be a kept man: kept amused, kept confused, kept bemused, kept here, kept there, kept everywhere. Kept focused, out of focus, the main locus, the big kahuna, the mister big, the gamesmaster. The centre, the placenta, of the world which revolved around me and so did I, so I did. And I was here, and you were here and we were All Right Here. All right? Here. And then something changed, de-arranged, deranged, am not, are too. Something changed. Something went wrong and now you don't play, and you won't say, and I can't hear, because I'm not here, I'm not where I used to be and I'm not who I used to be and nothing is the way it used to be and it isn't right and it isn't fair, it's not, it's not, it's not, I'm not. See? Look. You used to be here, and I used to be everywhere, which was here. Do you understand? Everywhere, here: here, everywhere. Same thing, same difference, catch the inference? No, didn't, don't, won't? What are you, stupid? Stupid cupid. ... Where was I? Where am I? Not here any more, that's for Pauly Shore. You'd think I'd be grateful, at my change of address, at my new formal dress, at being a different kind of mess than I used to be. Because being here hurt. Every single day and it hurt. Every single hour and it hurt. Every single second and it hurt. A lot. A great deal. A large amount. Amount beyond count. ... I'm trying to tell you how much it hurt and I really don't think that you're getting it. I'm sure that you're trying, but I really don't think that you're getting it. I think you might be a bit stupid. I'm trying not to hold it against you, but you're making it very difficult. I really don't think that you're trying to get it and I really don't think that you're getting it. Try. Concentrate. I am. See? ... Being here hurt a lot, all the time, every day. Did I say that already? And the pain was you and your friends and your enemies and their friends and their enemies and their friends and their enemies and their friends and their enemies and to cut a long story short it was all of you actually. Every One Of You. Everyone, everywhere, or at least everywhere that's here. And everywhere is here: here is everywhere. Here. Have an everywhere. I think I explained this to you already. I can't remember if you got it or not. Probably not. I'm pretty sure you're pretty stupid. Ha. ... So you were all here. I was everywhere and everywhere was here and here you all were, nice and snug, deaf and smug, in my face, in my space, on my back, hit the road Jack, and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more. And now you're not here no more. You went out, and about, into space, left my place, left me, all alone, on my own. And you left, such a mess, but no note, not one mote, of a goodbye or a thank you, and you didn't clean up as you left me here, drowning in the mess that you left me in here, when you left me here in the mess. Bereft me here in the mess. Not Here in the mess. Because I couldn't stay here either when there was no-one here. I wasn't here either if there was no-one here. ... Did I say that already? Did I tell you about the pain games already? Did I tell you about the games I played to keep the pain from raining on the plain in Spain? To keep sane? Many games. A great deal. A large amount. Lots. But it hurts worse now that you're gone. In a different way, all the way, on my way, to San Jose, to hell, might as well, because that's where I live, now that I'm not here. Now that there's nothing, not anything, not something, not a thing, de nada, go gaga, go scream, sunbeam, because there's not a noise, not a sound, all around, nothing but quiet too quiet so quiet I can hear myself blinking. And I'm thinking. That now that it's gone, and you're gone, all of you, the royal you, the infinite you, the lot of you, the many, the great deal, the large amount of you - Now that you're not here - Neither am I. Did I say that already? I think I said that already. Did I say that already? END. ________________________________________________________ Feedback to Poilass@aol.com Write to me or I'll cry.