Okay, okay. No continuity and nobody's anywhere near in character, this would never happen. But it sure was funny to write. The fun was the only payment I recieved, which is good because none of the characters are mine. They belong to Marvel, I'm just borrowing them for a few minutes. Sorry for mutilating them, guys, but you can have them back now. And they're just how you like them, fanatical and angry... :) Feedback would be *adored*, and this story is silly enough to be flameproof. On with the show. NETWORK Cyclops leaned around the door of the professor's office. He was beginning to worry. "Professor? Is... are you feeling okay?" Professor Xavier looked up. He had a nice crop of designer stubble, his clothes looked rumpled, and the herd of plates and coffee cups were taking over the desk. "I am *working*, and I do not appreciate the interruption." "Sorry." "Would you get Jean to make me some more food and another coffee?" Xavier asked absently, turning back to the computer with an almost fanatically determined light in his eyes. "Sure." Scott quietly closed the door behind him and hurried off. At least they could make sure that he was eating healthily, even if they couldn't tell how much sleep he'd been getting. "Boss, we just got a message from Arclight and-" "Didn't I tell you that I was not to be disturbed?" Sinister quickly hit the keys to hide his real work behind a DNA sequence in case Scalphunter came any closer. The Marauder frowned. "Yes, but you also said that this mission-" "It can wait. Now kindly remove yourself, if I wish to be interrupted further I will let you know." Scalphunter, not being a complete idiot, knew that when the boss had that nasty look and his eyes were glowing like little christmas lights it was best to leave. Still, he was curious. "Harpoon? Has the boss left his computer lab anytime you remember in the last few days?" "No, why?" "Doesn't it seem a little out of character for him to not be nasty or manipulative in any way for more than forty-eight hours?" Harpoon shrugged. "Yeah, but I figure he's saving it all for one big push. And if he's spending that much time and effort, it probably won't be directed at us." "True." Scalphunter felt around in his pockets. "Twenty says it's the X-Men." "My Lord?" "Go away, Exodus, I'm busy." Magneto hunched over his computer and muttered to himself, his formidable mind comparing three possible strategies against his resources. The Herald looked at his master carefully. His cape was crushed, his steel collar was crooked, he hadn't shaved, and at some point he had started smoking again and was absently using his helmet as an ashtray. "With what, Oh Revered One?" "Are you trying to be funny?" The Master of Magnetism's red-rimmed blue eyes swept over his favourite flunkey suspiciously. "Of course not, Lord. I only wondered if perhaps your humble servant could be of any assistance." He lowered his head submissively, but Magnus had already seen the faint smirk and the brightening of the glow in his eyes. "No Paris, you can't play." "Play? Play? Surely my Lord is joking. Quake 2 is no mere game, through it we are battling for domination of the world." He'd managed to say that with a perfectly straight face, posture radiating sincerity. "Exactly. And since our team already has a representative, meaning me, you aren't needed." He glared. "Besides, you cheat." "I am hurt to find that Xavier's groundless accusations are being repeated by my own master." "Exodus, I would much rather say that you cheated than that we were all unceremoniously blown away by a nine-hundred-and-something year old. Now shoo." Smiling smugly to himself, Exodus left. He'd gotten his message across quite clearly, it didn't matter that they wouldn't let him play. He had his own computer, and somewhere out there were a few flatscans who needed a lesson in humility. "Uh, Lord Stryfe? I-" "Leave or die. And bring me something with caffeine in it." Ozymandius stood silently behind his lord's right shoulder, ready at any moment to be of service. Well, that was the impression he was trying to give. Really he was watching the game, and who could blame him? They were playing for world dominion. So they claimed, although at this rate the Egyptian estimated they would be playing until sometime around 2178. Even then the eventual victor would have to forcibly pry the world away from the losers, it was quite obvious that the only way any of them would let another rule would be over their collective dead bodies. A truly terrible curse squeezed out from between Apocalypse's clenched teeth. "Is something the matter, my Lord?" "No, nothing." "I just thought I saw Magneto and Von Doom allying against you again. My mistake." "The fittest survive. Doom will go into the lava, it is only a matter of time." It didn't seem that likely, but there was an obvious warning in Apocalypse's voice and Ozymandius chose not to mention the Latverian monarch again. Instead he paused, taking a deep breath and summoning his most soothing, understanding tone. "The dying Scotswoman is spanking you again, isn't she?" THE END ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com