Disclaimer: Even though I'd like to, I don't own Jean, Xavier or Moira -- they all belong to Marvel Comics. Note: This story is sort of a sequel to "Jean Grey: The Power Within", a story in which I explored Jean's darker sides. It can be found at http://hem.passagen.se/hggblom2/phoenix/story46.htm This story ("Morning Coffee") was born when I tried to explain to myself why Jean, the center of X-Factor and its strongest member, all of a sudden seemed like a supporting character when she re-joined the X-Men... Blaiming it on Lobdell's and Nicieza's writing just didn't seem enough... I also wanted to explain to myself why Jean started to wear the Phoenix costume all of a sudden when she and Scott went to Alaska. Even though the story started out as a story about Jean, it ended up being about Charles Xavier and Moira MacTaggert as well... My special thanks go to three extraordinary young women: Beth Rogers -- the only one who gets to read my first drafts. Sequoia Swennes: thank you for your encouragement. RogueStar: thank you for letting me know just how much of a cliché my original ending was. :-) Well, Rossi... I've finally written my 2nd Jean-story. :-) -- Morning Coffee a short story by John Häggblom When he woke up this morning Charles Xavier woke up with a smile... It had been so long since he last visited Muir Isle, and he had forgotten how it always made him at ease to be there. Since he felt so good about himself he decided not to use the hover chair given him by Lilandra, but instead use his old wheelchair -- "what's the use of being a human being living on earth if you can't use ordinary means created by ordinary people every once in a while?", he thought to himself when he situated himself in the wheelchair... Now as he stands outside Moira MacTaggert's office, Xavier realizes his mistake... Living in a world where high-tech tools are as common as a good cup of tea in the morning (even ones created by an alien race called Shi'ar), Moira has forgotten to make Muir Isle suitable for disabled persons -- the threshold seems way too high for his wheelchair... Xavier has never been known to ask for help in the first place, and this time is no exception. With a little jerk with the wheelchair he is able to get over the threshold (barely making it without tripping backwards), and he lets out a sigh of relief when he enters Moira's office. "The old man still has it in him," he thinks to himself with a smile. He looks around Moira's office and can't help but smile when he notices Moira sitting by the desk going through some paperwork with a magic marker in her hand. She is so into what she is doing that she hasn't even noticed him... Xavier considers it remarkable that one of the foremost scientists in the world (a woman up-to-date with all modern technology) is still using a magic marker and ordinary sheets of paper when she is reading up on something. Sitting there right now she reminds him of the young woman he met at the Oxford University when he worked towards his doctorate. It suddenly strucks him that Moira's office resembles her old room in that girls-only-dorm he used to sneak into more times than he can remember... Sure, she has a top-of-the-line computer resting on the desk, but on the walls she has the same paintings as she had back then (Rembrandt, van Gogh, Monet -- she's never been too fond of Picasso), and her desk is covered with magazines and photographs just like it was back then. Admittedly the photos aren't the same as they were back then (where there once were photos of her parents and her childhood sweetheart, there are now photos of those near and dear to her today: a portrait of Sean; Sean and her together in Edinburgh; Jean smiling her model-gorgeous smile on Piccadilly Circus; Rahne looking pouty; there is even a photo of himself -- a favorite of his: he is sitting outside the entrance to the Westchester estate in a pose that reminds him of Lincoln) -- but it is still obvious that she likes to feel at home in her office. "Good morning, Moira", Xavier says with a smile, proud of his own ability to sneak up on someone. Moira seems so startled that she almost drops her magic marker. "Charles, you scared the living daylights out of me." "So it seems", Xavier muses. "What is that you're working on, Moira?" Moira flicks through the document. "I'm just going through the results from the tests I did on Jean the other day..." "Ah, yes... Just before she went home to Scott she told me that she *refused* to believe that you wanted to update the files on *all* the X-Men..." "Really?" Moira looks a bit awkward. "'I've never heard the others mention anything about new tests'... Those were her exact words." Moira sighs briefly. "Well, I *do* update my files whenever it seems necessary, and when it comes to Jean, an update was due *yesterday* -- to coin a phrase..." Charles slowly brings his wheelchair up to Moira. "Well, then -- what's the verdict?" "Well, I think I need some coffee first - I've been up all night," Moira suddenly looks tired. "Can I get you some?" Xavier laughs light-heartedly. It was during her first year at the Oxford University that Moira started to make her coffee stronger than anyone else's coffee: she seemed to study during all hours of the day and night, and needed something that would keep her awake. Xavier tasted her coffee once, and swore a holy oath that he would never drink another drop of her coffee for as long as he lived. "I didn't think so either," Moira says with a smile. "I'll be right back." Xavier looks after Moira when she walks away. When she smiles like that she looks almost beautiful... It's true that Moira's never been a striking beauty, but she's always been charismatic, with an air of intelligence that's always made his heart skip a beat or two when she smiles at him -- he remembers how flattered he was when Moira showed an interest in him back at the university -- him: the bald doctoral candidate. She was quite headstrong back then (as she is today) and sometimes he wondered if she ever had to stop to catch her breath in her hunt for wisdom: she was audible at lectures -- asking the lecturers all kinds of questions; she was never intimidated by any of the professors and discussed vivaciously with them with the same ease as she discussed with her fellow students. Xavier soon realized that all she wanted was to attain the same level of knowledge he had himself (not realizing he'd gotten his knowledge with the help of his telepathy) -- the two of them were together so often that Moira soon mistook her admiration for love, and Xavier made the same mistake about his own feelings for his protegee. Moira realized her mistake after a while -- Xavier needed a few more years to realize his... *** "Oh, my... I think this is the first time I've been able to walk up on you without you sensing me," Moira stands in front of him with a steaming cup of coffee in her right hand. "Moira... Hi... I was...somewhere else..." "So I noticed," Moira sets herself in her easychair right next to the desk. "Ah, that's better. Sometimes I forget how good it feels to simply *relax*, you know." "I know," Xavier hands Moira the document she had been working with. "You were going to give me the verdict on Jean..." "Ah, yes," Moira looks troubled again, and Xavier almost regrets he asked the question. "Well, Charles, it's exactly as we feared -- Jean's powers are at the level the Phoenix entity was at when I tested her all those years ago..." "Right before she became the Dark Phoenix," Xavier sighs and rubs his temples. "Well, Jean's nowhere near the cosmic levels of that dreadful creature if that's any relief, but it looks like she's reached the potential you and I always thought she had." Xavier looks straight at Moira, and it suddenly strikes her just how old her mentor, colleague and friend has become. "I tried my best, Moira... I tried to prevent all this from ever happening, but I *failed*..." "Charles, I'm not following you..." "When Jean returned to the X-Men it dawned on me just how powerful she had become, and I convinced her to power down herself." "...and she agreed?" Moira has known Jean for years, and this doesn't sound like the woman she loves like the daughter she never had (almost as much as she loves Rahne). "No, you misunderstood me," Xavier looks like he's on trial. "I *telepathically* coaxed her to power down -- it all happened on a subconscious level for Jean, otherwise it wouldn't have worked." "You did what?" Moira raises her voice. She tries to keep her highlander temper at bay but isn't succeeding. "That's a sinful thing to do, Charles!" "I know, Moira, but when Jean telekinetically controlled the spaceship when the Gold Team came to our rescue on Avalon, I realized how powerful she now was, and what with the Phoenix entity and all, I wanted to prevent another disaster..." "My God, it all makes sense," Moira drops the document on the floor. "When Jean became part of the X-Men's Gold Team I wondered why the *center* of X-Factor suddenly was in the *background* -- it seemed so uncharacteristic of her..." "...and it was." Xavier looks miserable. "It all had to do with my telepathic coaxing... But when she proposed to Scott she took the next step in her life, and on a subconscious level she started to cut the strings from me... My coaxing didn't effect her as much as it used to do..." "...and all of a sudden she surprised us all by challenging Sabretooth." Having seemingly regained her senses, Moira starts to pick up the document from the floor. "What was she doing -- testing how powerful she was?" "I don't think so," Xavier rubs his temples again. "My coaxing still had some effect, but the years she spent in the future almost made them wane completely..." "...and Jean was once again right back at the center of the action." "Exactly. When I was kidnapped by Bastion, and Jean and Scott left for Alaska, it seems like Jean once and for all removed all remains of my telepathic coaxing -- and she started to wear the Phoenix costume." Moira looks down at her cup of coffee and realizes she hasn't even tasted it. She puts the cup on the desk, accidentally overturning the photo of Xavier... She doesn't pick it up. "Jean told me she started to wear it in an effort to empower herself." "Ah, yes. She has the memories of the Phoenix-entity, and it seems like on a subconscious level she believes that the only way for her to reach that level of potential -- a potential she seems obsessed to reach -- is by mimicking the Phoenix," Xavier's eyes are fixed on the overturned photograph. "I believe that the only way for Jean to completely overrun my coaxing was by partly taking on the Phoenix persona." Moira is surprised to see that there are tears in Xavier's yes. She smiles at him. A sad smile. "I'm sorry I lashed out at you, Charles, but you have to realize that what you've done is wrong. On some level Jean has fought your telepathic coaxing all these years, and that has made her mimic the Phoenix -- maybe you have unwittingly made Jean reach a level she isn't ready to reach just yet." "...and by doing so I may have made history repeat itself." Xavier fights a need to touch the dimple in Moira's left cheek. He succeeds, but a part of him regrets that victory. "Charles, Jean is a very intelligent woman. She will ultimately find out what you have done and-", Moira doesn't finish the sentence. Xavier looks into Moira's eyes. "I know, Moira." He thinks about the ten-year old girl who came into his care all those years ago. A girl who had withdrawn herself from the outside world -- a girl he helped bring back. He thinks about the strongwilled, passionate woman she eventually became. He remembers how much his heart ached when she married Scott -- he felt like he was losing his own daughter. "I know." There isn't anything else he can say. Nothing more. Nothing less. "I know." The End -- Please send feedback to m75jh55c@students.su.se Take care John Phoenix - the first X-woman http://hem2.passagen.se/hggblom1/phoenix/