Disclaimer: I do not own them, other people do. Only thing I own is the extreme wackiness of this fic. *g* I am making no money off of this, how could I? But it you would like to make a generous donat-*gets wacked in the head by red tape* OW! Okay, okay...

SPOILERS: The Speed and Spyke episode of X-Men: Evolution.

Author's Note: It was two in the morning and I was high on caffiene. Please keep that in mind. Also, I am not the only one who thinks this of Magneto! My father walked into the room while I was watching Speed and Spyke and he said, "Luke, I am your father."


Darth's on Evolution

A teenaged boy with white hair is moving all about a jail cell, yelling, trying to get out when a deep rumbling and vibration makes him step away from the bars.

The boy looks and is greeted with the sight of a shadowy figure who resembles Darth Vader. "Wha-? You?" the boy inquires.

"It is good to see you again, Pietro," the shadowy figure says in a deep voice. "And good that you remembered me."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Darth Magneto, I know. Why don't you get me outta here!"

The form stepped closer, his cloak swirling around him. His face is never shown in the light. "Your foster parents never told you what happened to your father..."

Pietro glared at the form. "They told me enough. They told me-" he paused. "Well, actually, they haven't told me anything."

"Of course. Because I am your father..."

"No..." Pietro backed away from the bars, feigning horror. "That's not true... that's impossible!"

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true!"

"NOOOO! Nooooo!" another pause. "Wait a sec', why should I care? I hardly even know you! You just show up for birthdays and Christmas's and other family gatherings. I just thought you were my mother's deranged cousin twice removed."

"Yes, and I always bring a gift so I don't owe you anything."


"I require your services. Join with me and we can rule the Galaxy as father and son."

"Really? Cool! Let's do it!"

Reaching a hand out, there is a sound which sounds kinda like a toned down lightsaber. Pietro steps back as the bars in front of him bend, allowing him passage out and to the waiting hand of his father. With a blow of his cape, the scene ends.

Later on in life...

Pietro is seen again, he is leaning against a fence and watching a beautiful girl around his age eat in the cafeteria at lunch time. Of course, what other time of the day would it be? Break dance time?

After having a crush on this girl for some time, he went and talked to his father about it. I mean, he had to have some experience with girls, else Pietro wouldn't have been born. But he got the shock of a lifetime after talking with him, so now he has to talk with this girl.

At the moment she is alone, he speeds on over to her and frightens her. "Hello!"

The girl is weary about this boy who suddenly appeared sitting next to her. "Hello..."

"Ineedtotalkwithyou," he says in a fast voice.

"Okay..." the girl said as she shifted away from him.

"Wanda, right?" The girl nodded her head in response. "Well... Y'see, themutantgenerunsstronginmyfamily... myfatherhasit... Ihaveit... and... mysisterhasit."

"What does this mean to me?"


Wanda looked the guy up and down, they really looked nothing alike, what with his white hair and her brown. "How...?" "


"Damn!" She had been so hopeful it could have been some distant relation she could ignore.

"Hey, 'leastIdidn'ttrytokissyou."

"Good call."

Just then, a bunch of students show up.

"Back away from her, Quicksilver."

Pietro rolled his eyes. "Oh, man. It'stheX-geeks."

Yes, the X-geeks were there. Every single one of them dressed in their spandex. Isn't it amazing how out of the blue, they will be dressed in it? It's like they take it wherever they go. I don't wanna know how they change exactly in public...

Well, Quicksilver had a few friends of his own. As soon as the X-Geeks showed, so did the Brotherhood. Most famous was Darth Toad, Darth Magneto's apprentice. What really boiled Quicksilver's blood was how Toad could get all the chicks. Already his sister was falling flat on her face for the horned wonder.

Toad took something out of his pocket and ignited it. It was a double bladed lightsaber. Against him, the X-Geeks didn't have a chance. Shadowcat turned and ran while Nightcrawler teleported out of there. The others held their ground, the fools. No one could get past Darth Toad and live to tell about it.

Jean tried to use her telekinetic powers to get the lightsaber from Toad, but he was too powerful, and wrapped his thirty foot long tongue around her ankle, lifting her in the air and slamming her on the pavement.

Cyclops tried blasting him with his optic beam, but Toad deflected it back to Cyclops using his lightsaber.

Wolverine lunged at him, but Toad simply cut his adamantium claws in pieces. Wolverine looked at his broken claws with disbelief before bursting into tears and running off.

Spyke tried flinging bone stakes at him, but Toad merely yawned and used The Force to make them go back at him. Impaling him and his Aunt because Darth Toad really didn't want to bother much with her.

Last, but not least, was Rogue. But there was no need to fight her, she was hooked like Wanda was and was staring lustfully at the little red'n'black man who had just defeated the entire team of X-Men.

That shadowy form appeared again and nodded approvingly at Darth Toad. "You are now a Sith Lord, my young apprentice. You have no further use of my teaching."

"Oh goody, goody!" Toad exclaimed, jumping up and down in joy. Upon doing so, he accidentally cut one of the nameless normal students in half. "Oops... My bad!"

"Magneto!" Shouted a voice from a man who magically appeared in the room. He was bald, in a wheelchair, and trying to sound like Patrick Stewert and not really succeeding.

"Obi-Wan Xavier... So we meet again... The circle is now complete. When I left you I was but the learner, now I am the master." Darth Magneto said, facing his enemy.

"Only a master of magnetism, Darth." Still in his wheelchair, Xavier brandished a lightsaber and activated it.

Suddenly everyone left in the room burst into laughter at the sight of a man in a wheelchair opposing Darth Magneto for combat.

Xavier frowned, not happy with the response. "Oh, fine." He put away the lightsaber and drew a phaser, shooting Magneto square in the chest.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" shouted Darth Toad, who jumped high and landed on top of Xavier's head, squishing him. flat into the chair.

But because no one really dies in the X-Men universe, rather like in the Star Trek universe, the old Xavier is beamed away and a new one replaces him.

"You cannot kill me! I have two universes at work with keeping me alive!"

Upset that his squishing tactics didn't work, Darth Toad stomped off to the sideline to sulk.

Magneto got up from the floor, despite the big hole burned in his suit, he is uninjured. "You ruined my suit! You are paying the dry-cleaning bill, Xavier!"

"Oh, fine. I'm rich. I'll just hold another sponsorship thingie and get more money. See you for Chess tomorrow at two, Darth Magneto?"

"Sure thing, Obi-Wan Xavier."

With that, Xavier disappeared just as he had appeared. Which since you don't know how he appeared, you won't know how he disappeared.

With Rogue and Wanda fussing over the still sulking Toad and the rest of the students returned to life as usual. There wasn't much to do.

"Dad?" Pietro asked, running around and jumping to catch his father's attention.


"Dad?" he did it again.



"What? What? What?" Darth Magneto stared his hyperactive son down.

"Uuuuumm... nothin'." From that moment on, Darth Magneto swore to invest in a high doses of Ritalin for his son.