Hi people :)

Well I have no idea where this is headed :) (Doesn't that just sound 
soooo reassuring when even the author doesn't know what she's gonna 
write next *Grin*) Anyway, I don't so you're going to just have to bear 
with me. This is only the second time I've written Xavier so please 
don't flame me if you don't think it sounds like him. (This is after all 
MY version of Xavier *smile*) Anyway, enough of the chatting and the 
keeping you from the story. Enjoy...One more thing, this hasn't been 
beta read so knowing my complete lack of grammatical finesse don't be 
surprised by some mistakes.

		      Conversation with Xavier

			        Part 1

Xavier is pushed into the cell in an old wheel chair Apon reaching the 
steel bunk on one side of the room the guard picks him up and places him 
on the bed before taking the wheel chairand moving out of the room.
Xavier breaths in deeply from where he lays and listens to the guard 
close and lock the cell door.
He hears a movement to his left and turning his head sees a pair of 
blue-grey eyes staring at him thoughtfully.

"They sure did a number on you didn't they."  

Xavier analyses the voice, trying to place the accent, Australian he 
thinks.

"I suppose they did." Xavier answers, he is tired and heartsick and his 
voice usually steady and commanding is a mere whisper of its former 
self.

"So what did you do then?"

The voice is female of that he is sure now,

"I was born." He answered trying to make himself more comfortable on the 
steel cot. The small under stuffed mattress did nothing and the pillow 
was hard as a rock. Still it was better then nothing he supposed, after 
all this wasn't the Hilton.

"Seems a rather strange reason to lock someone up. Even stranger reason 
to beat the shit out of someone."

"Not when you realise I'm a mutant and this is an Operation Zero 
Tolerance base." 

"Hmm, so that's why. What kind?" she asked thoughtfully.

"Telepath."

He could feel her chuckle, 

"So if you're such a big dangerous mutant how come you let these losers 
beat the crap out of you?"

He closed his eyes in pain as the memories came,

"I no longer have my powers."

"I'm sorry about that, it must be hard being in silence."

He knew she was sincere, he wondered briefly why she was here and why 
they'd put him in a room with her. 

"Sometimes, when I was younger I used to prey for silence because the 
noise of peoples thoughts was always so loud. Now, its different."

It was dark in the cell and she was in shadow but he could see her nod. 
He wondered what she looked like, if the guards had beaten her to. 

"You always think differently after something's gone. It's like while 
its there you want it all to go away but once its gone you miss it like 
crazy. It's not till its no longer there that you realise that you 
didn't really mind it all that much at all."

He contemplated what she said, staring up at the ceiling which was also 
in shadow. The only light in the cell came from a small light in the 
corridor beyond.

"It isn't that, I did some horrible things. I betrayed everyone I ever 
cared about I think losing my telepathy is the least punishment I could 
have been given."

She was silent for a time as if filing away this new information before 
answering.

"Was it really that bad?" 

Charles Xavier thought about the pain and destruction Onslaught had 
caused, 

"It was worse, I almost destroyed the people who believed in me the 
most. I'm not really sure if they will ever forgive me for that."

He could hear her move as she got off the cot and then she was there 
beside him, looking down into his eyes.
He studied her face; not beautiful it was too strong to ever be 
beautiful. There was something around her eyes though a spirit that made 
her stunning nevertheless.
He could imagine that she was quite a heart breaker. She studied him as 
he studied her and something she saw must have been good because she 
smiled. 

"I don't think forgiving you could be much of a feat, I don't think it 
would take much at all."

"Who are you? I assure you that you know nothing about me."

Her grin merely widened and she sat back on her hunches, still watching 
him.

"I don't need to know you, I can feel you. As for who I am, does it 
matter?" 

He looked over at her his eyes questioning,

"You're a mutant?"

She laughed then, a pure sweet sound in this dank cell.

"No, I'm not a mutant, mutants don't exist where I come from. I can 
still feel you though; it doesn't take a mutant to be able to feel 
someone."

"Would a name be to much to ask my dear?" he said smiling wryly.

She smiled a mysterious smile and raised her left eyebrow,

"What is in a name? Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet?" 

"It might smell as sweet but when we can only communicate in words a 
name is twice as important."

"Yes, it would be wouldn't it, I would suppose with telepathy names 
wouldn't mean much. Seeing the inside of someone, knowing them at that 
level, words would be clumsy by comparison." She whispered silently in 
contemplation.

"Not clumsy, just different. If you only ever experienced one thing all 
your life it could get very boring."

"And you've seen and experienced quite a bit haven't you? Seen quite a 
bit of pain also I might imagine. I can't remember my name, they said I 
just appeared here one day and I have almost total amnesia, they call me 
Dreamer. I suppose that is a good a name as any other."

Xavier looked at her for a second before raising his arm and extending 
his hand towards her. It hurt like hell as any movement at the moment 
did. They'd certainly done a good job on him. She stared at his hand for 
a second and then placing her own in it, shook.

"You said they don't have mutants on your world. If you have amnesia how 
can you remember that?" 

"Almost total, I can remember a few things, like that I'm not from here 
and that some of the stuff here doesn't exist here. I think that I had a 
family, one that loved me but their faces are blurry and I can't 
remember names." 

Xavier sat up on the bed and grabbing his legs moved them so he was 
sitting up on the bed, leaned against the wall.

"So why did they put you in here?" 

Dreamer looked thoughtful for a second and she got up to pace for a bit 
around the cell. Finally she stood before the bars with the light from 
the hallway shining on her face.

"I don't know, Bastion thought I might be useful so when I refused to 
help he put me in here. He thought it might make me more accommodating. 
He could have saved himself a lot of time and just killed me I'll never 
help him."

"Why would he think you were useful?"

Dreamer fidgeted for a second as though unsure of how much to tell him 
and finally she sighed, coming to a decision.

"I can do things with machines. I can sorta get into them with my mind 
and make them work better. It's like they're a voice in my head and all 
I have to do is talk to them and they'll do what I want."

Xavier looked at her with surprise not sure whether he'd heard her 
right.

"I thought you said you weren't a mutant. That there were no mutants 
where you came from." 

"There aren't and I'm not a mutant, it's not like your mutant powers. I 
don't know how its different I just know it is. They tested me you know, 
for the mutant gene. They didn't find anything, Bastion was quite 
surprised when he saw that." 

"I'm sorry about that, Bastion is misguided. I truly believe he thinks 
his doing the right thing. It is a shame that he is so wrong."

"Humans do that don't they? Make mistakes I mean, it seems that we try 
so hard to make things perfect that we forget what it was we wanted to 
make it perfect for in the first place."

"I don't believe Bastion is human but it is true, we do make mistakes. I 
myself have made quite a few of them."

"I hear the guards talking sometimes, they don't consider mutants human. 
I wondered what a mutant was for quite a while when I first came to be 
here. I mean I knew what a mutation was but I'd never heard anyone 
referred to as a mutant before. 
I finally asked a guard what they were talking about, they told me. I 
couldn't believe that anyone could hate so much, or be so misguided.
I remember intolerance; it's one of the few things I do remember. I 
thought we'd gotten over all that though. I thought that humans had 
moved on. I suppose that in your world they just found someone new to 
hate."

"There have always been those who were prosecuted, those that were 
hated. We, that's my X-men and I are working or were working towards 
bringing peace between mutants and humans. You could say it is a dream 
of mine."

She turned from the light and it formed pools of darkness where her eyes 
were but he could tell by the lines of her profile that she was amused.

"It doesn't seemed to have worked very well." 

Xavier leant back against the wall and closed his eyes, he really was 
tired, more tired then he could ever remember being.

"No, it didn't, I had such dreams for them though for us all. I was very 
naïve." 

She was still; the sound of her breathing the only thing in the room, 
when she did answer Xavier almost missed it it was so softly spoken.

"Not naïve, you just believed in them I suppose. Believed in the 
essential goodness of the human race. You're not the first to be proven 
wrong on that count I don't suppose you'll be the last either. It wasn't 
wrong to believe in them though; most humans are good, deep down. I know 
that, it's just that they bury it so deep that most of the time it can't 
be seen."

Xavier smiled for the first time in what seemed,

"I'd like to believe that Dreamer, I would; more then you can know." 

Dreamer walked back over to her bed and lay down, trying to get 
comfortable.

"I think you should rest now, night won't last forever and I don't think 
they're going to leave you alone for very long. It might be good to get 
what rest you can."

Xavier moved around until he found the least uncomfortable position and 
closed his eyes.

"Goodnight Dreamer, I hope you dream well."

"Goodnight, you know you never told me your name." 

"Charles Xavier." 

"That's nice, Goodnight Charlie, I hope yours are too."










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Okay this is a repost. I'm not sure if the first one got through or not 
so here it is again.

                             Part 2

Xavier wondered if it was day or night outside. In this cell time was 
irrelevant but he still could not let it go. Like any other civilised 
person his life evolved around time, not knowing what time it was 
quickly put him off. He supposed that was the purpose of it really.
He couldn't say how long he'd been here now, longer then a month surely 
but how much longer?

"You know I sometimes think flying must be like death." Dreamer said in 
a thoughtful tone.

Xavier started in surprise; he had learnt that Dreamer rarely spoke. 
He'd asked her once why that was and she'd replied that if you had 
nothing interesting to say it was better to stay silent and remain a 
mystery then to speak and be known a fool.
He supposed there was logic in that somewhere.

"Why do you feel that flying would be like death?" he asked, as he knew 
she expected him to.

He had over the last few days become her sounding board, someone to talk 
to in those rare occasions she had something to say.
"The freedom I suppose, you just let go and your there. Not like flying 
in a plane, real flying with wings. You just jump and let the wind carry 
you. Like death, there's all that fighting before hand but when the time 
comes you just jump and let it carry you. In that instant you live your 
entire existence and then when its over you just stop."

"I have a student who can fly, his mutation manifested as wings."

He could tell she was looking at him, he turned his head and saw her 
green eye's thoughtful as she contemplated him. He wondered sometimes 
what she saw, what she thought when she studied him like that.

"It might be nice to have wings, to fly. I always wanted to fly when I 
was a kid. Not in a plane but really, truly fly. I remember once I told 
God that I'd happily give him the rest of my life if he'd just give me 
one moment to fly, he never answered me." 

Xavier listened to the murmur of guards down the hall; the silence made 
every sound seem amplified somehow. Xavier had often mused why that was 
when Dreamer wasn't in a mood to talk and the silence seemed to stretch 
forever.

"You know Bastion put me in here because he thought it would break me."

"To many people this place would seem a nightmare." He answered softly.

"They rely to much on outward stimulus. They can't think anymore, they 
always have to have sound around them or sight in front of them. Sit a 
person like that in a pitch black room with absolutely no sound for even 
a day and they'd tell you anything just for the smallest sound."

"I take it you don't have this problem." 

The guards were changing down the hall; the new ones were talking to 
those going home. They were laughing about some t.v show they'd seen 
last night. It seemed strange to hear such commonplace things in a place 
like this. As if somehow for some strange reason he had felt it should 
stop just because he was no longer out there living it.

A continued proof of his arrogance he supposed, as if life evolved 
around him somehow. He chuckled to himself inwardly, a bitter sound. 
Life would be perfectly fine if he ceased to exist right now; the Earth 
certainly didn't need his input to keep on spinning.

"No, I don't suffer from that. I've always been able to deal with 
isolation. Its like I don't need people or noise to survive. I've got it 
all in my head you see. When I want to hear music all I have to do is 
remember it. If I'm bored I can just start writing a book in my head. I 
used to do that a lot I think; it seems familiar anyway.  It's strange 
having amnesia, partial anyway. Its like I know things but I can't 
remember how or where I know them. I know music but I can't remember 
where I first heard it. I remember books but I can't remember ever 
reading them. I know my name but I don't remember my family. As I said I 
can see their faces but I can't tell you who they are."

Xavier listened to her talk; she had a husky voice. A voice people liked 
to listen to, he could imagine that people might have tired to strike up 
conversation with her in the past just so they could hear her talk.
It was more then that though she made him think. Not in the way that 
some might, no this was more then that. It wasn't thinking on an 
intellectual level but thinking on an emotional one.
There had been few people in Charles Xavier's life that had been able to 
do that to him.
Henry McCoy had been one of those; Xavier smiled as he remembered their 
conversations. Sometimes they would last for hours at a time. The others 
entering and leaving the conversation as they saw fit. It had felt good 
to talk to his students on that level. As if they weren't just students 
but family.  Dreamer reminded him of them and he realised that he missed 
them greatly. Xavier wondered if they missed his presence at all.

"I think I'm beginning to realise why they call you Dreamer." He said 
with a smile.

She grinned in the darkness the white of her teeth reflecting in the dim 
light.

"They should have warned you about my tendency to philosophise before 
they stuck you in here. Shame on them for making you put up with my 
vague rambling's."

"Indeed, I am quite put out by it all. The cheek of making me have to 
listen to stimulating intellectual conversation. Why, whatever could 
they have been thinking." He said jokingly.

She laughed softly in the darkness and he joined with her their chuckles 
echoing in the silence. 
After a moment he heard her breathing deepen and knew she was asleep, 
turning over on the mattress he to closed his eyes and committed himself 
to oblivion.


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				Part 3

Xavier watched Dreamer, as she lay on the grass in the compound staring 
up at the blue sky. They'd been released for exercise as they always 
were at this time of the week. Dreamer seemed to live for these days, to 
feel the warm sun on her face.
It flicked like fire across her red hair and twinkled in her green eyes 
when she looked over to where he was sitting.

"Did you know that a plant denied of light for even a day will begin to 
droop and then after a week it will begin to die." She said simply.

"Yes, your saying we're like plants."

"In a way, only we last longer then they do. Still, sooner or later the 
lack of freedom will kill us just the same."

"You seemed resigned to this fact."

"I've known from the moment I first set eyes on Bastion that I probably 
wouldn't survive. It's not so hard to die when you except it. There's 
almost a freedom in surrendering to the inevitableness of kismet."

Xavier thought about that for a second, about freedom and destiny and 
living.

"I don't think I'm quite willing to lay my soul in the hands of kismet 
quite yet." He said finally.

"Everyone dies Charlie from the moment we are born we begin to die. What 
matter if it is now or later? I think the only thing that really matters 
is how you live the time you have."

Xavier's eyes were unfathomable as Dreamer watched him from her position 
on the ground. She could feel the warmth of the sun seep into her bones 
and wished that the guards would never come. They would though, they 
always did and they would lead her and Xavier back to the cell, back to 
the darkness.

She didn't mind the darkness so much and the silence could be soothing 
but it was the bars that hurt. Freedom, she wanted it like a fire in her 
blood. Felt the need for it every time she came out here. She wished she 
could grow wings so she could fly. So she could take Charlie and leave 
here forever.

"Do you ever think they'll come for you Charlie?" she asked finally.

Xavier looked over at her almost surprised by the question since she'd 
never really shown much interest in those that might come after him.

"I think if they knew I was here they would, if they knew I needed them 
to."

"It must be nice having people care about you. Having people who you 
care about."

"It's nice sometimes but it's hard also, caring. When you care you leave 
yourself open for hurt."

"Yet you still care Charlie even about those that don't deserve your 
concern. Why do you do it Charlie? Try and make peace between the humans 
and mutants, why?"

"I used to know, it used to be clear in my head and I knew that what I 
was doing was right and good. Now, now I couldn't say why I try anymore. 
Perhaps because I've been doing it for so long I just can't see any 
other way."

"It's a noble dream you have Charlie. Noble, but not exactly practical. 
What I've seen of the humans on this planet they'd no sooner make peace 
with mutants then they would cut off their own arms. It's sad but a fact 
I suppose."

"You're a cynic Dreamer. I wouldn't have expected it of one named as you 
are."

She laughed softly and her green eyes twinkled with amusement.

"I don't suppose it's an emotion normally associated with dreamers is 
it. Ahh well, I can't win them all I suppose." 

Dreamer got up and walked towards him when she reached his wheelchair 
she knelt down beside it looking at him, he looked at her quizzically. 

"You care to much Charlie that's your problem. You care to much and 
it'll always get you hurt."

"If I care about you as well?" 

She looked up at him and winked,

"Then that's the biggest mistake of all, I'll break your soul don't ya 
know." 

"Why?"

"I don't know, it's a feeling I have, a memory of another time I 
suppose. They made me make a decision and it hurt. I think that's why I 
can't remember. I think it was so bad that I blocked it out." 

"If I could help you remember it would you want me to?"

Her eyes darkened slightly and she shook her head slowly,

"No, I don't think I ever want to remember Charlie."








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