After seeing the other drinking/apple eating games, we decided to make 
up one of our own.  Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. :)

WARNING!  THIS IS A GAME FOR SPB VILLAINS ONLY!  Normal or heroic people 
who attempt to play this game will stay depressingly sober.

Disclaimer:  We own this.  The general principles are public property.  
Nothing is <shock, horror> owned by Marvel, except possibly some of the 
helmets.


THE VILLAINOUS DRINKING GAME
By Diamonde and Dyce


Have one drink if you've faked an Evil Plot (tm) just because you were 
bored and wanted attention.  Have another one if you're not sorry and 
you'll do it again.

Have two drinks if you've messed up a hero romance just because it was 
fun.  Have a bonus drinkiepoos if you've screwed a hero/heroine "just 
because you could".

If you have done something that breaks one or more law of physics, pat 
yourself on the back and toast yourself.

If you wear a helmet or metal mask, you may fill it to capacity and 
scull.

Cry into (and drink) a beer if you can/do blame your megalomania on 
childhood trauma.

Have a nice big drink if you have had the foresight to screw up a hero's 
life while he was still an impressionable child.  Have another one if 
you did his/her siblings as well.

Have two drinks if you see people/mutants as a food source.  Hell, have 
one of those too.

Have a very expensive drink if you are richer than any three heroes put 
together.  Buy and empty the bottle if you did it by unethical use of 
your evil powers

Have a drink out of a pre-sterilized glass if you've ever used a disease 
to further your evil schemes (starting or withholding cure).  Two if you 
just did it for fun.

Slug some ethanol if evil genetic experiments do it for you.  Toss in a 
Viagra if you sleep with them afterwards.

Have an extremely large drink if you have suffered a 
horrible/disfiguring/mentally damaging accident or defeat, and have 
merely used it as incentive to make yourself even more evil and 
powerful.  Make it even bigger if you have then successfully blamed 
everything on said mishap and gotten the jury's sympathy.

Use your brandy to wash down an anti-depressant if the heroes you 
usually fight breed like rabbits or reproduce through time-travel.  
**Warning:  this is not recommended for villains pervious to harm from 
such mixed substances.**  You may have two little pills if said heroes 
also return from the dead, thus completely bollixing your attempts to 
keep the problem under control.

Have a drink on the UN if you come from one or more oppressed 
groups/races/religions/species'.

Have a drink on the government if you've convinced them to hire you, but 
only if you don't have to wear a restraining device.

Have one drink for every heroic relative - you deserve it.  Two if 
they're your treacherous and ungrateful children.  Plus a bonus drink if 
you've convincingly claimed to be related to someone in order to further 
your evil schemes.

Indulge yourself in a drink and a good laugh for every time you've made 
captive heroes dress like idiots purely for your own amusement.  

Have a beer for every time you've thwarted a hero's plans simply on 
general principles, even though said plan had nothing to do with you and 
posed no threat at all.

Enjoy a daiquiri if you're only in it for the money.

If you bugged a heroic captive's cell and overheard/watched/incited just 
so you could watch a Touching Moment, rerun the tape while you have 
another drink.  Have a bonus drink if you deliberately sent your guards 
in to separate them milliseconds before they kissed/declared their 
secret love for each other/told their deep dark secret/achieved orgasm.

Help yourself to one drink for every time you changed a hero's entire 
life through a 'slip of the tongue' (a la third Summers brother).  You 
may have a bowl of peanuts with it if you got away before they could ask 
you any questions.

Drink and giggle if you're keeping a hero's 'unknown' parentage to 
yourself.  But only if YOU aren't said parent.

Swig incognito if nobody knows your real name.

Have a Screaming Orgasm (the kind in a small glass)  for every time 
you've made a hero/heroine have a real one despite the fact that you are 
an evil villain they shouldn't be in bed with at all.  Two if you got 
vital secret information from them during pillow talk.

If you and a hero have a deep personal grudge against one another, enjoy 
his/her favourite drink in the smug knowledge that they're heroes and 
not allowed to have anything stronger than a beer anymore.

Savour a glass of fine champers for every wedding you've 
crashed/ruined/had annulled due to the fact that you were married to one 
of the participants first, and never filed that divorce like you said 
you did.  What, nobody?  Go ahead and try it.

Shout yourself a drink if you've ever used mind control to turn one hero 
against another.  Two if they are/were romantically involved.  Three if 
you took the chance for a quick lay while you were at it.  Take the case 
if you didn't NEED mind control to do either.

Invent a brand new drink and name it after yourself if you're officially 
classified as a Mad Scientist.  

Indulge yourself in something strong if you used to be a hero, but woke 
up to yourself before it was too late.

Have a drink for every time you got the idea for your latest nefarious 
scheme from the Saturday morning cartoons.  Two if it was Disney.

Swig straight from the bottle if a hero has said that you were 
'irredeemably evil' or something similar.

And finally…

Chug if you hate children.


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