OF TWO MINDS... (pt1) *************** Yet again by Raymond N. Cooper "For the last time, no! I am not leaving here! Not at all! I haven't been consulted on this, this isn't a decision we can make lightly! We've been here for so long now, and known Benjamin," here the voice softened slightly, "again for so long now. You knew that he would act like this when we saw that- that thing in his office! You knew that Benjamin would be hurt,yet you never said anything to him, and you didn't let me say anything! Then I thought is was for the better, thought it would help him to face his fears,teach him to let Jennifer go. And I think you wanted me not to tell him quite simply because you wanted to do this all along!" The voice rose to a screech. "Quieten your voice, Jadzia. I have done nothing wrong." The voice continued, sounding somewhat different now. "A Trill is a combined entity,at least, that is what we're supposed to be. If one makes a decision, then the other goes along with it, like it or not. Because our consciousnesses are working together. We go." "We stay," the other voice retorted. "This is a theoretical absurdity, and you know it. I shouldn't be talking to you like this, and you shouldn't be talking to me also." "My point, Jadzia. Our link is breaking down." Jadzia's voice became urgent. "Dax, we can't go. Benjamin needs us now more than ever. I want to stay here. I need to stay here. For my own well being, if not yours and Benjamin's. Whatever happened to your friendship? I thought you cared for him?" "Like you do, Jadzia? We made a conscious decision never to become involved with him when we found out about this assignment. That was the only reason I agreed to this posting, because Benjamin's had enough troubles in his life. First Jennifer died, and I didn't want to replace her! I still don't. When we accepted his invitation to dinner the other night, I didn't want to go, but as I had been making several important decisions lately, I thought it best that you make at least one. I let you do this out of your misguided feelings for Benjamin Sisko, and looked what happened! We nearly got killed! You nearly got us killed!" Jadzia's answer was hot on the heels of Dax's argument. "We nearly got killed, yes. But when has that differed from the times you nearly got me killed? Remember that Klaestron thing? My extradition and execution, all out of your love for some person's wife you couldn't leave alone? Or how about the times you've wanted to save Benjamin? You have a selective memory. And when we were joined, you nearly killed me! That was without even trying. So now, you're asking me to just walk away from something we've invested a lot of time and energy in? That doesn't sound like the self-centred Trill symbiont I know." Dax's voice came back, rapid and cutting. "And you think I don't know about your feelings for Benjamin? About how you think you could replace Jennifer? Settle down with a ready-made family? It doesn't work that way,girl. It doesn't work that way at all." "What's wrong with harmless fantasizing? I have feelings for Benjamin, yes, I won't deny that, but they are kept up here, in my mind. They don't go anywhere, and if they did, you'd be the first to know about it. You feel for Benjamin just as much as I, but in a different way. You don't want to leave because I like him - in my own dreams - but you want to leave because of something else, don't you?" Dax laughed sourly. "Very perceptive tonight, aren't you? Yes, I agree,it's not because of your feelings for him, its because of the way he treated us that night. I think he would do that again if the same thing happened." "How do you know it will?" Jadzia asked. "How do you know it won't?" Dax snarled in reply. "Computer, lights!" Dax continued. She dressed Jadzia's body, taking over motor control, visuals, aurals, and olfactory. To all intents and purposes,Dax had hijacked Jadzia's body. Jadzia fumed, thinking to herself that Dax did this all the time... ****** The door into Sisko's office in Ops pinged. "Come in," Sisko greeted Dax warmly. He waved at a chair, motioning for Dax to sit down. Dax continued to stand, but Sisko didn't notice. He had buried himself in work since the problem with the Jennifer shadow. He had stopped by occasionally to make sure Dax was comfortable, to make sure there was nothing she wanted him to do. Dax had remained pretty cold, and Sisko now hoped that they could continue their friendship now. He had to admit to himself, he was damn embarrassed about the Jennifer affair, but... he had lost his wife, knew she was still alive when he left,and had not the chance to bury her, put her body to rest. Instead, she had been cremated when the warp core of the USS Saratoga had breached, about the same time the Borg fired on it for the second time. Without burying her, Sisko hadn't been able to admit that she was dead. Seeing Dax here, on this station, had helped him considerably, but he still missed her. Every time he closed his eyes, she was there. Everytime he travelled to Bajor, or through the wormhole, he thought he might find her. If he did, would she remember him? Would she still... love him? Sisko shook these thoughts out of his head. Jennifer, his wife, and the mother of his son, Jake, was dead. The Borg had killed her, and nothing could change that. If he saw her, it was a lie, she was dead, a lie... He glanced up at Dax. "Aren't you going to sit down, old man?" he asked with a smile. Dax stared straight through him. "I have something to say, Commander Sisko." Sisko leaned back in his chair. "Then say it, Lieutenant." Dax took a deep breath. "I respectfully request a transfer to another posting. I wish to leave this station." The words hit Sisko like a punch in the stomach, and he'd plenty of them in recent days. "Do you know what you're saying, Dax? You're turning away from the greatest collection of scientific research in th known galaxy! The wormhole is every scientist's dream. Thousands, possibly millions, want to work here. And you're giving it up?" Dax merely nodded her head. "In case you haven't noticed, Commander, the fact that the Dominion hold the other side of the wormhole doesn't inspire a lot of confidence in most scientists." "Still -" "Still nothing. I request a transfer. If I have to go over your head, so be it. It'll be on your record that a transfer was refused, not mine." Please note that, while some of these characters are copyrighted (c) to Paramount Pictures, the storyline, Sasha Wren, events, the Shadows, the Defiant's condition, et cetera, et cetera, is copyrighted (c) to Raymond N. Cooper. This story can be red shifted towards the Gamma Quadrant as long as my name (as author, and down here), address, and these copyright details remain here on this story... Path: tivoli.tivoli.com!geraldo.cc.utexas.edu!cs.utexas.edu!uwm.edu!msunews!harbinger.cc.monash.edu.au!bunyip.cc.uq.oz.au!nntp.brisnet.org.au!softtech!au!org!brisnet!closer!william.gracie From: William.Gracie@closer.brisnet.org.au (William Gracie) Date: 09 Jan 95 15:33:50 Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative Subject: DS9-ALTERED SHADOW ARC: DAX-(2) Message-ID: Organization: Soft-Tech +61-7-869-1131 Lines: 113 Xref: tivoli.tivoli.com alt.startrek.creative:4330 OF TWO MINDS... (pt2) *************** Yet again by Raymond N. Cooper Sisko stood, and moved over to a window; in the distance, stars twinkled their soft patterns of nuclear life, and Bajor twinkled with them. From this distance, it seemed to be a big star in the blackness of space. He could see Dax's reflection in patterns on the window. "It was... Jennifer, wasn't it?" he breathed quietly. "Not... exactly, Commander. More to do with the fact that I have no confidence in you anymore." "Due to Jennifer." "Not -" "Damn it, Dax! Do you think I'm stupid?" Sisko shouted. Even through the soundproofed walls, the shout was clearly audible in Ops. Dax's silence confirmed Sisko's query. "All right then," he muttered. "You'll get your transfer. I have no idea to where I'm going to send you, though..." "You could send me to..." Dax trailed off, knowing this would endanger her chances of getting a position she wanted. Sisko glared at her. Jadzia broke through for a moment. "Benjamin, I'm sorry about all this, I never wanted to do it, I -" Dax cut her off. "Dismissed, Lieutenant." Dax turned on her heel, and strode away, leaving Sisko to stare out the window... ****** "Well, now, Kai, I'll just give you something to sleep, then I'll be off." Julian Bashir was in a cheerful mood. Dax hadn't snapped at him, Kira was avoiding him (although those two things he missed - at least then they were talking to him), and the Commander hadn't wanted any miracle cures. He could get down to some serious research. Vedek Bareil had brought the Kai to DS9 a day ago, claiming she had been attacked. The Kai was almost hysterical with fright, moaning "They're coming! The Prophets are coming! And them we must fight!" Julian had sedated her almost immediately. Kira hadn't been too impressed with the fact that the Kai was on the station, but it appeared that havng the Kai here had other priviledges - namely a certain Vedek. The Kai seemed to be stable now, the cuts were healing nicely, what with that new platelet inducer from Bajor. Come to think of it, the Bajorans were making a lot of new, useful things by themselves these days. They were recovering some of their old civilisation, at least. On the drawing boards was a DNA/RNA recorder/ reconstructor (at least, that was the working title, Julian reminded himself). He bustled off into another room. The Kai's eyes were open, but sagging. She slowly succumbed to the effects of the sedative. As she went out, she saw greyness at the edge of her vision. "Prophets!" she whispered, "Protect me!" <> [Enjoyment] ****** Kira and Bareil sat in Kira's quarters. They had been talking for a while now, and were getting..., well, rather anxious. Finally, Kira couldn't contain herself any longer, and she fell upon Bareil, who responed to her affections. Then Kira's comm badge beeped. "Sisko to senior staff, please assemble in Ops." Kira touched her badge. "Kira to Sisko," she said breathlessly, "I'm rather tied up at the moment with..., um, important matters that require urgent work. I'll need maybe half an hour -" "Major! Get to Ops - now! Or else you can spend all the time you want with your boyfriend - on Bajor without a job!" "I can wait, Nerys," Bareil assured Kira. "I can't," the Major grumbled - someone was going to pay! ****** In Ops, Sasha Wren sat watching the senior staff talk around the main console. No one had noticed her as yet. From the turbolift, Odo joined the group. "Since we're all here, I would just like to take this time to announce the departure of one of our staff." Kira held her breath. Had she arrived too late? She knew she shouldn't have sneaked that last kiss before leaving. "Dax will be leaving us - just as soon as the present crisis has passed." Kira let her breath out quickly, turning it into a sigh to hide her thankfulness. "Now, I'd like to tell you all something. A Romulan Warbird has been seen heading in this general direction. I don't think we have anything to worry about, but if it is coming here, then, at its present speed, it will be here in about five days time. I want us all to be ready for any contingencies. "Mr. O'Brien, how stands the Defiant?" O'Brien looked away. "Um, Commander, I don't think it'll be flyin' anytime soon. The port warp nacelle needs a complete overhaul, the shields are down,the phasers don't work, and neither do the photon torpedoes. It's just a hunk of metal at the moment..." Sisko sighed. "Dismissed." Everyone hurried away to their stations except Kira. "Where are you going,Major?" the Commander asked. Kira looked nervous. "To... fix that thing I was telling you about,Commander..." She made it out of Ops in record time. ****** "This is the life, Bareil," Kira sighed. "I could do this all day..." Not the end - yet! Continued in Shadow Defense... Please note that, while some of these characters are copyrighted (c) to Paramount Pictures, the storyline, Sasha Wren, events, the Shadows, the Defiant's condition, et cetera, et cetera, is copyrighted (c) to Raymond N. Cooper. This story can be red shifted towards the Gamma Quadrant as long as my name (as author, and down here), address, and these copyright details remain here on this story...