Last Writes
A Gatchaman fanfic by Ennien Ashbrook

        By the time you receive this, it will be, at risk of sounding
cliche, too late.  That's okay, though; I've been expecting this for
some time.  Like you, I've led a charmed life, and I knew it wouldn't
last forever.  I was supposed to have died with my husband at 22,
actually.  I've been cheating death ever since:  Between my own psi and
my sister's (who's even more precognitive than I am), I've been able to
find the other chances.  However, there're none left.  I warned the
Overlord that the worst thing he could do would be to kill me.  He'll
find out the truth of that.
        I could never quite figure out how to put my feelings for you
into words, without scaring you off.  You've suffered more than anybody
should ever have to, between the dome, the bars and that Asakura
asshole.  That one outraged me the most, what he did to you was just
plain cruel.  I'm glad he did get terminated, think of how he'd be
bringing up his kid -- then there'd be two of them in the world.
        However, his example was what I was determined to offset, hence
my not forcing my attentions on you.  I know you love me.  I know my
death will devastate you, if you're even allowed to rememeber it.
Please believe me:  I love you too, with all my heart.  Mo ghaol ort, a
Bheirg.  I've listened to you and watched you open up to me, and I
cannot help but admire you - it takes a lot of courage to dream so high,
after living so low.
        I'd watch you come home from the bars, full of self-loathing,
and I'd watch you fall into my arms.  You were so *glad* of our original
no-sex agreement.  I also know that Sosai raised you with a TINSTAAFL
mentality:  You were always searching for the catch, for my price.  What
price my care.  And that was why I never told you how much I wanted to
make love to you.  Why I never offered myself when a flux hit you.
You'd take it as a price, or as mere curiosity - I was sleeping with a
mutant, everybody else got to fuck you, it seemed, why not me?
        Because I love you too much to do that to you, Berg.  I waited
for you to come to me, because that was the only way I could be sure
that it was truly something you wanted.  But you never did.  Were you
too afraid of me?  Of yourself?  Or maybe you just didn't desire me that
way.  That's okay, Berg, really - I had your love, I know that, and
that's something nobody but Brace and Sosai ever got.
        But it was interesting sometimes.. While you were out, I'd take
care of myself, and of course, you were always in my fantasies.  The
worst part was, I was alternately fearing you'd walk in on me, and
wishing you would!  Once or twice I'd had the feeling that I was being
watched, probably by you.  Well, if it was you, you would have been
welcomed to join me.  I'd've gone to the door to check, except that it
could also have been that little weasel, Green, and HIM I wouldn't have
any day! <laugh>  Nor would you, to his eternal frustration, but that's
another story.  Did you know?  Oh well, you can tease him about it, now.
My parting gift to you.
        Speaking of parting gifts, I can't leave you without Upside Down
Cake, can I?  It's only a major power source for you when you Change..
Well, combine 2 tbsp. butter and 3/4 cup brown sugar in an 8 x 8 pan and
melt them together then put the canned peaches or pears or pineapple or
whathaveyou into it.  Cream 1 tbsp butter with 1/2 cup sugar, add 1 tsp.
baking powder, a pinch of salt, and 1 cup white flour.  Beat 1 egg, add
1/2 cup milk and 1 tsp. vanilla, mix the liquids with the dry stuff then
pour it over the fruit and syrup.  Whang it into a 350F oven until the
top is golden and the syrup is bubbling, then invert it onto a plate
being REAL careful this time, you don't want another third-degree burn.
        I've struck some deals, both with my sister, my foster-mother,
and with the powers I serve.  What I've done with you has barely
scratched the surface of what was needed, but it should suffice.  I
hope.  The odds are tremendous, and I just don't enough time left.
Beware the Overlord, Berg.  Your life isn't the only one at stake, nor
will mine be the only one lost if I've failed.  Be wily and wary and
devious and all the things I love you for.
                                Sayanara
                                Kai