aleph@netcom.com (Aleph Press)


Gel Sadra's Song--  The Journey

When my journey began, I was only a child
With a child's thoughts and a child's ways
When he said I'd be queen, I did not disbelieve him
And he said I would shine, so I did what he said
I wanted him to love me
I didn't know better at three

There was so much chaos, confusion and pain
I was hunted and hurt again and again
And so many died, as I laughed and laughed
Other people could die all I wanted
But death couldn't happen to me.

He told me to kill, so I did and smiled
And he said to destroy, so I did and laughed
Then he said to forget, but I couldn't, entirely
Somebody once had loved me
But I'd fallen into the sea.

A nightmare vision, haunting sleep, haunting me
Cruel separation becoming reality
I saw the face of my mother, my enemy
And cried when she didn't believe me
She saw a monster in me.

I asked for love, and found ashes and pity
For she told me my master had ruined me
Then I saw her die, and all my dreams crumbled
I searched for the truth, and I learned why she'd died
Yes, my Master'd deceived me
He was the monster she'd seen

At my journey's end, I was finally a grownup
And a grownup can die for what she believes
No longer a servant, no longer a child
To destroy my master, I gambled my life--

Mother, now do you believe me?
Could you ever forgive me?

Cold and weak, a frightened child
I look up and see her standing there smiling
So I take her hand, and we walk toward the light
Shall I be afraid?
Not I, not I
With my mother's hand in mine
My journey ends in the light.

-- 
Alara Rogers, Aleph Press